Unverified Voracity Knits

Cartoon by Joel A Morgan.

Presented without comment.



Well, this will just increase the factor of crushingness. Mario Manningham?

Even though many have assumed Manningham will turn pro, he insisted that isn't true.

"I'm going back," he said. "I want to get my degree."

When a reporter told the receiver he seemed to be joking, Manningham didn't back down.

"I'm being for real," Manningham said.

Probably just afterglow; the deadline to declare is the 15th. We'll have to keep fingers crossed about not only Manningham, but Arrington, Taylor, and Jamison. From a Carty article:

Junior wide receiver Adrian Arrington said he would talk to Rodriguez this week about how he'd fit in next year's offense before deciding whether to opt for early entry to the NFL Draft. Arrington said the decision was currently 50-50. Juniors Mario Manningham and Terrance Taylor refused to discuss whether they'd return to Michigan or turn pro after the game.

If this Mallett transfer comes to fruition, I would assume Arrington would take that as a sign to leave. Manningham and Taylor's silence indicates that they're giving the NFL serious consideration at the very least.

Trent is staying according to the first article, not that he was regarded a major threat to leave.

Right, about that: Mallett's mom doesn't know anything.

“No decision has been made,” Debbie Mallett said Thursday night of her son, the freshman quarterback — currently — at Michigan.

“Everybody thinks they know what Ryan’s doing. But Ryan has not made a decision yet. All these sources? They never came from anyone here.”

Classes started yesterday but I believe Mallett can transfer whenever he wants since the season's over. Until we get something definitive from him, it'll be a festival of speculation.

Elsewhere in the attrition beat. The Free Press listed guys returning, leaving, early (er) entering, and possibly transferring, dumping Mallett, David Cone, and Jason Kates in the latter category without even the vaguest hint of an explanation. We all know the score with Mallett. Kates missed some bowl practices; I've heard the reason was a relatively minor violation of team rules but if this was pattern behavior it could have been the last straw. Cone... well, he wasn't going to play before unless a meteor hit -- he was behind a walk-on this year -- and certainly isn't going to now; perhaps Rodriguez is encouraging him to find a place he can play. I have also heard that Rodriguez is scouring JUCOs for QBs in anticipation of a rough depth chart next year; it will be interesting to see the results of that.

Take heart. Take heart, Matt Zemek and that guy who wrote about Michigan's win being for "smashmouth" and "three yards and a cloud of dust" in the aftermath of a career day for Chad Henne: as long as Fox Sports is paying Jay Mohr to put crayon to paper, you are not the worst sportswriters on the planet. Mohr on Carr's retirement:

I am still trying to wrap my head around the Lloyd Carr "retirement." After five Big Ten titles and a national championship, out you go. I am a big believer in "what have you done for me lately," but the guy did have a 75 percent winning percentage. That seems like a lot of "doing for you lately."

But unfortunately, Lloyd couldn't consistently beat THE Ohio State University. His record was 6-7 against the Buckeyes, and that may have been what did him in. Never mind his winning records against Notre Dame, Michigan State and Penn State. If you don't consistently beat your archrival in college football, you lose your job. ...

Good luck Rich, and don't say I didn't warn you that you won't last long in Ann Arbor. Lloyd Carr had to coach in Bo Schembechler's shadow. It may be harder to coach in Lloyd Carr's shadow. A 75 percent winning percentage throws a lot of shade.

Jay Mohr pays less attention to college sports than I pay to Jay Mohr, or he would have known that Carr was expected to retire voluntarily even before the season started. And yet he still gets to write this thing. So I'm going to write this thing about Jay Mohr.

JAY MOHR: PEDERAST OR AL-QAEDA MEMBER?

By Walter Cronkite
LOS ANGELES (AP) -- Hey... remember when Jay Mohr had that comedy reality TV show and only his buddies got on and he introduced us all to that really fat guy from Oklahoma who isn't even funny in that "hey, he's really fat!" sort of way that even the most talentless hacks can pull off? Yeah. I saw that guy on Celebrity Fit Club. He's been loosed into the realms of C-level celebrity reality shows. He'll be on VH1 for the next 20 years. And this is all Jay Mohr's fault. Obviously Jay Mohr is either a sex offender who's only attracted to baby fat or in Al-Qaeda.

Jay Mohr: you ruined America.

Hidden advantage? Bill Stewart's hiring at WVU is probably not good news for Mountaineer fans -- hello Bobby Williams -- but might have some beneficial effects for Michigan fans. One: Central Michigan head coach Butch Jones, a former Rodriguez assistant, won't be the next WVU HC. The two might be able to link up at camps and stuff and help each other with instate recruiting. Two: if you were a little leery of Rodriguez displaying maximum croni-style by bringing his entire staff to UM, Stewart will likely hold on to a number of WVU assistants. The WVU Rivals site is already reporting that DL coach Bill Kirelawich will stay with the Mountaineers, presumably opening up a spot for Steve Stripling. WR coach Tony Dews might stay, too, which might open up a spot for Soup Campbell.

The downside is that he might pick off someone Michigan should really want. One of the three, OC Calvin Magee, is already committed to Rodriguez, but S&C guru Mike Barwis and DC Jeff Casteel (who I've really come around on after doing the research that went into Tuesday's "Yay 3-3-5" post and Wednesday's Fiesta performance against one of the nation's best offenses) could be convinced to stay. Casteel in the aforementioned Rivals article:

"Hey, as a coach, what would be a better place to be," he said. "I mean, I've coached in the Sugar Bowl (victory over Georgia in 2006) and the Fiesta Bowl. This is pretty good," said the architect of the most consistent portion of the 2007-08 11-2 team.

("Most consistent"... woo unbiased reportybits!) That's not committal, and since WVU is paying Stewart beans -- one of the benefits of making a dumb hire -- they might have the funds to hold onto a coordinator.

FYI. From Winged Helmet:

Here are WVU's recruiting rankings for the last 5 years and Oklahoma's

WV 46, 47, 31, 52, 23

OK 4, 8, 3, 9, 14

I hope they're playing "Scrabulous." A reader forwards this little earthquake on his Facebook newsfeed:

For those uninclined to squint, Terrelle Pryor and Sam McGuffie are now friends. Aww.

Etc: I don't think I buy this; must be photoshopped; McGuffie flips over stuff; Rosenberg on Carr; McGuffie article w/ quote from yours truly; Stadium & Main recaps the win.

Unverified Voracity Has Flashbacks

Cartoon by Joel A Morgan

The Woodsoning. Ten years ago Saturday, Charles Woodson became the first primarily defensive player to win the Heisman. Ten minutes of why:



I wonder if this was a prime galvanizing moment for the ridiculous SEC provincialism. Peyton didn't win! The media must be against us.

Redshirts. A couple people have emailed asking exactly who did and who did not redshirt this year; let me point you to "Nick the Greek Blog," which is probably not run by that Nick the Greek, for the answers. The only guys to get redshirted this year: LB Brandon Herron, RB Avery Horn, OL Mark Huyge, OL David Molk, DE Ryan Van Bergen, S Michael Williams, and TE Steve Watson... is that right? I swear I didn't see LB Marell Evans out there.

Flight? Oops Pow Surprise from BHGP says this guy on Hawk's Nest is established as in-the-know when it comes to Illinois and Illinois-related items:

You guys [Iowa] have John Wienke visiting this weekend. Lives 20 miles from Champaign. Not recruited heavily by Zook because Wienke is a traditional drop back passer, but he is talented. Michigan commitment right now, but he is looking around.

FWIW. Losing Wienke would be irritating but not devastating with Threet around.

Relive the Horror! Unsurprisingly, Appalachian State is in the I-AA championship game. Their opponent, as a reader points out?


No, not Michigan. Delaware. This is entirely creepy, of course, and the game will no doubt end 34-32 when Delaware's senior captain DE/LB (ND transfer Ronald Talley?) messes up the most basic football strategery and gets a potential winning field goal blocked.

A second reader also points out: if App State and Ohio State win their respective national championship games, Michigan will have lost to two different national champions in the same year. Has that ever happened before? Someone call up the Duke SID and find out.

Desperate! I'll say! (H!IKM.) Felicity Huffman on the picket line:


Someone ask her if she's interested in the Michigan job. 45-year old Topeka housewife recruiting? Dominated.

Etc.: The Realests say "what about Jim Leavitt?" The MZone and Maize 'n' Brew take issue with this blog's anti-sailing stance, or at least the stridency of it; NYT -- not exactly a rock of journalistic integrity -- on Schiano w/ Harbaugh non-candidacy reiteration.

Unverified Voracity A Snake A Snake

Owned.

EAST LANSING - An unknown assailant spray-painted a block M, similar to the logo of the University of Michigan, on the brick base of Sparty early this morning.

The vandalism occurred between the hours of midnight and 6 a.m., MSU Police Sgt. Randy Holton said. The paint was to be removed the campus grounds crew.

I love "unknown assailant," like Sparty is going to need counseling about this or something.

Oh, and, yes, the picture above is a fake. Look at the tree. For some reason an RCMB denizen put it together; maybe he's getting his bow on.

A snake! Awesome work by MATW:

(What the dickens is this? Surely you've seen Badger Badger Badger, no?)

An oldie. WolverineHistorian has put up Michigan-Michigan State 1979:



Audio by Ufer.

Beilein items. More quotes about practice:

"After the fifth or sixth practice, when I knew this is what it's going to be, I had to get over thinking so much and just play ball and just do what he says," said Sims, a sophomore forward. "It's a learning process. Anytime (a coach) transfers from another school and you have young guys who did not have much experience, they've never seen an offense like this before and were never taught the fundamentals leading up to the offense, it's going to be a tough thing."

Manny Harris says "he doesn't give you a chance to slack off," something that would prompt another useless anti-Amaker tirade if it came from a non-freshman.

People are calling:

Since being hired in April to replace Amaker, though, Beilein has learned that coaching at Michigan is not like being at West Virginia or the five smaller schools he has led.

"I've been sitting at home and have had some of the best juniors in the country call me," Beilein said earlier this week in his office. "We haven't had too many of those situations in the past."

Jim Calhoun is effusive:

"There's nothing I can compare to trying to prepare for his offense. It was the hardest thing we ever had to defend because they truly took advantage of you," said UConn coach Jim Calhoun, who faced Beilein annually in the Big East. "As much as you think that you're just going to be able to play, John does something in a very quiet, unassuming way. He creates confidence in his players, and they run their system impeccably. They can adjust in the midst of games, and they play enough different defenses [to keep you honest]."

Etc.: Commenter Other Andrew takes a look at Wisconsin and Ohio State; The Rivalry debuts at the Michigan theater, apparently starts ignoring M in the 90s.

Unverified Voracity Isn't Missing Anything

Cartoon by Joel A. Morgan

Status. There is an idea floating around that Michigan should sit Henne and/or Hart since Michigan is guaranteed a BCS slot with a win over Ohio State no matter what the outcome is against Wisconsin. This is, IMO, crazy, since the outcome of the Wisconsin game is important either way -- is the difference between 9-3 and 8-4 a big deal? 10-2 and 9-3? -- and the chances either's preparation for the Ohio State game is adversely affected are extremely low. FWIW, Carr on the duo:

Asked about the injured players' status on "Michigan Replay," Carr had few doubts about Hart.

"I don't think you're going to keep him out of this one," Carr said of the Wisconsin game.

When cohost Jim Brandstatter asked about Henne, Carr hesitated but endorsed him too, saying, "Absolutely. He finished the game, didn't he?"

Henne reiterated that stance at yesterday's press conference:

Two days after self-diagnosing his health at 80 percent in East Lansing, Michigan quarterback Chad Henne said his separated throwing shoulder from the Illinois game is almost back to full strength.

Henne added at yesterday's press conference that he'll "definitely" play this weekend against Wisconsin.

"It feels really good," Henne said. "I got treatment this morning, and everything has definitely gotten a lot tighter, and it feels a lot better. Obviously it's going to move around a little bit, but right now, it's not really moving around at all and it's back to normal."

Hart, for his part:



"It's the last two games of my career... I'm not missing anything."

Onsite:



More video from WolverineHistorian: 2002 Penn State, the 1993 Rose Bowl.

McGuffie aaah. Seven minutes of video fluff on Sam McGuffie:



Several of those runs are new even for those who have memorized the mixtape.

Badgerhawk down. Wisconsin CB Allen Langford and DT Jason Chapman are definitely out for the game Saturday; another key Badger may join them:

University of Wisconsin Head Football Coach Bret Bielema is not sure if running back P.J. Hill can play in Saturday’s home finale against Michigan. The sophomore starter missed last weekend’s loss at Ohio State with a bruised left leg. Bielema said Hill’s condition got worse late last week and he has no idea how things will progress.

Hill got progressively more concerning as Jehuu Caulcrick pounded through the Michigan line time and again; if he's gimpy that will help.

Oh, so stupid. I'll keep it brief since this is football season and you probably don't care about this stuff: that McCosky guy with the inadvisable mustache wrote an anti-blog screed in the Free Press. Thunderous accusation leveled:

A lot of times these bloggers use the work of legitimate reporters. They will lift facts and segments of stories and cut and paste them onto their blog. Rarely, if ever, though, do they bother to credit the source.

Second thunderous accusation leveled:

Bloggers are having a field day speculating on how Joel Zumaya really injured his shoulder. Nobody believes a heavy box fell on him. So the Internet is rife with stories about how he fell off his dirt bike.

Links to blogs (or even mentions of specific offending blogs) provided: zero. Why is this? Um... because no Tigers bloggers even so much as mentioned the dirtbike rumor:

I also wonder where in the world he got this idea that blogs were all over pushing some random dirt bike story. Like I said, he wouldn’t have got the idea here. He wouldn’t have got it from Billfer or from Ian or from Kurt or from Lee or my main man Matt or from any of the major Tigers blogs. I haven’t been keeping up on them lately but I don’t even think Deadspin reported anything about dirt bikes.

...

I checked Motown Sports which is, let’s admit it, the only Tigers message board worth looking at, and sure enough I found this thread talking about it. Two seconds of reading made it clear that the dirt bike rumor originated from the COMMENTS SECTION of something posted at ESPN.com.

McCosky's title: "bloggers just aren't journalists." Yes. That's the point.

Etc.: Michigan Monday; PSU beats Purdue with help from cheating biased Big Ten refs; Genuinely Sarcastic on MSU.

Unverified Voracity Suddenly Hates Cartoons

Status. Another suggestion of Hart's health, this from the man himself:

"Yeah, I'm playing next week," Hart said after the game, heading across the field into the tunnel. Later he added: "Yeah, I could have played today."

Fingers crossed; I expect he'll go. Indications on Henne are murkier, and though at the moment I expect he'll start I think there is a nonzero chance he's unable to go.

Fine. Fine. Fine. Seven hundred people have sent this to me, so you've already seen this. But in an effort to stem the tide:



I dunno... I was hoping for more.

The Razor's Edge. Right, the Department of Education dropped a 42-page document of doom (pdf) on the athletic department yesterday. (Free Press article.) I've read many opinions; these are mine:

• Michigan is going to have to conform. Both Notre Dame and Ohio State ran up against this and had to conform; Michigan will be next.
• This will make the renovations more expensive, but if the Hero of Tienanmen Square is sipping champagne underneath a giant painting of himself, declaring victory, he's got another thing coming. More cost yields more motivation for the luxury suites. At worst this issue is orthogonal to the renovations.
• Thousands of seats will be lost to this. Combined with the seat-widening, the overall capacity of Michigan Stadium is going to drop unless additional seats are added.

The major issue, IMO, is the seat thing. It's long been a point of pride that Michigan has the largest stadium in the country. When the renovations were first proposed they featured a several-thousand seat reduction in capacity; this, met with hue and cry, was quickly repaired. A 7000-9000 seat hit would be tough to stomach.

Speaking of tHOTS, the New York Times again writes on the skyboxes at the prompting of Pollack. Please remember this whenever he or his ilk presents information:

Practically from the moment Martin submitted the plan for skyboxes, Pollack has been obsessed with defeating it.

Everything he says is aimed at that goal; things like "facts" are to be discarded when inconvenient. Pollack is a former Bill Clinton speechwriter and, like anyone who has crafted the things politicians say, is trained in the art of deception.

The really offensive portion of the Pollack campaign is the disingenuous assertion that the boxes will cost more money than they make. Occam's Razor screams that said assertion is preposterous: everyone has built them in a period when collegiate athletic revenue is skyrocketing. We are supposed to believe that Martin, and Bill Martin alone, has cobbled together a plan that will actively hurt his university. No possible motivation is provided for this, probably because it's hard to think of one other than megalomania.

Pollack is essentially a professional liar attempting to inflict the point of view shared by his particular social circle on the university at large. He's also breathtakingly arrogant:

Mainly, though, Pollack argues that the University of Michigan simply shouldn’t be the kind of school that sells skyboxes to high-rollers; it should be better than that. “Michigan doesn’t need to keep up with the Joneses,” he said. “We are the Joneses.” He added, “One of the great things about college football, especially Michigan football, is that it is a great public space — a place where autoworkers and millionaires can come together to cheer on their team.”

Yep. Autoworkers and millionaires coming togeth--

Annual Gift Category - 2006 Results

Champions Level ($20,000 or more)	4-8 Season Tickets in the Victors Tier
Leaders Level ($10,000-$19,999)	2 Season Tickets in the Victors Tier or 4 Season Tickets in the Valiant Tier
Wolverine Level ($5,000-$9,999)	2 Season Tickets in the Valiant Tier or 4 Season Tickets in the Maize Tier
Go Blue Level ($2,500-$4,999)	2 Season Tickets in the Maize Tier or 4 Season Tickets in the Blue Tier
All-American Level ($1,500-$2,499)	Up to 4 Season Tickets in the Blue Tier
Captain Level ($1,000-$1,499)	2 Season Tickets in the Blue Tier or 4 Season Tickets in the End Zone
First Team Level ($500-$999)	2 Season Tickets in the End Zone
Varsity Level ($100-$499)	No Season Ticket Assignment; Special Ticket Offer "Go Blue Pack"

Oops. That damn reality, always messing with utopia. Pollack is attempting to preserve something that no longer exists, if it ever did.

Historian. Michigan-Ohio State, 1991:



It's a 300-level class. Michigan zingers re: MSU countdown clock:

• Johnson: “I guess they can keep time. I guess if they need that for motivation, to get ready for the game, good for them.”

• Cornerback Morgan Trent: “That’s cool. Whatever, we know when the game is. So that’s fine.”

• Carr: “I can remember checking my watch just to make sure I knew what time it was. The only clock I’m concerned with is mine.”

Michigan Against The World has a recap of great moments in the series.

Oh God. Unofficial MGoBlog cartoonist Joel A. Morgan sent in a doozy this week. Sadly, I don't know where he lives so I can't send him a bomb flower basket in appreciation:
So there you go. I'll be over here in this hole, hiding.

Etc. A conversion tale from the NYT; MVictors on the inspiration of 1898; MZone has the worst thing ever said by a member of the athletic department.

Unverified Voracity Defends Rock

Pumpkin via Amber Colvin.

The fourth down stufficus. Some protest in the comments and from The Conquering Heroes about the non-condemnation of Les Miles calling Rock x 4 against Kentucky in the third overtime. TCH:

I attempted to make the point on MGoBlog that Brian and many others would have raked Lloyd over the coals had he run on 4 straight downs and not picked up the first down.

It seems odd to defend myself from criticism for a hypothetical criticism I never actually made, but I will make an effort.

First: the effusive praise in this space was for Miles' willingness to go for it time and again against Florida, pulling out a win he may otherwise not have had. Nothing in the Kentucky game changes that. LSU found itself down in the third overtime and had to go for it.

As for rock x 4 -- we'll call it the Super Avalanche -- this is Matt Flynn's line for that game: 17 for 35 for 130 yards. Several of his completions were little swing passes that went for first downs. That's a line worth of Jimmah Clausen. The guy was awful, his receivers weren't much better, and Early Doucet was basically unavailable (he did come in to be a decoy during the Super Avalanche). Meanwhile, LSU was averaging 5.5 YPC when the first rock was called, and that gained six yards. In these circumstances, pounding ahead in an attempt to get the first down is eminently justifiable. Just last Wednesday, the Wannstache got raked over the coals for taking the ball out of Lesean McCoy's hands in overtime and throwing fades with his crappy quarterback despite all evidence indicating he should grind ahead. Given the relative vectors of LSU's ground and air games, it's hard to fault Miles with pounding the ball, even if it didn't work.

This is different from the fervent criticism of Debord leveled in this space because Debord took a look at the #114 pass defense and ran and ran and ran even when it had become clear that Justin Boren and Michigan's third string right guard were totally unable to handle John Gill. The resuls were a 16-7 halftime deficit that Michigan was fortunate wasn't 28-7 and an extremely dangerous situation. The key distinction here: Miles was doing something that made sense. I like it when coaches make goddamn sense.

TCH's post is worth going over, as it contains fourth down go-for-it and conversion numbers for a wide array of coaches. The numbers are interesting, though I don't know how well they actually reflect a coach's aggression. There's a big difference in going for it when you have to, like at the end of the UK-LSU game, and going for it when you have other options, like the Florida game. One point of contention:

Did Miles go for it on fourth more often just because he has brass balls? Not entirely:

LSU’s field goal kickers were 64.3% last year. Their primary kicker was 8 for 13 – a mere 61.5%. On the other hand, Garret Rivas was 16 for 19 -- 84% last year.

----------------------0-19 --20-29---30-39---- 40-49----50+
Garrett Rivas: 16 for 19 84.2------0/0---6/7 ---8/8----2/4 ---0/0
David Colt: 8 for 14 61.5%--------0-0---4-4----1-2----3-6---0-1

Those kicker lines don't scream "vast difference" to me even if Rivas had a much higher percentage. (Also, it's Colt David.) From 40-49 both were 50%. Inside 40 they both missed a single field goal; Rivas had many more attempts.

Also, though the "brass balls" thing has gotten a lot of play here and elsewhere, there is a key point of clarification: each decision to go was statistically and situationally valid. Miles had the balls to do the smart thing. This is different than Weis doing stuff like calling a QB draw with 12 seconds left in the half and no timeouts, which is stupid look-at-me-I'm-a-genius bravado. Mindless aggression is no better than, say, punting from inside the opponent's 40 when a moderate gain salts the game away.*

*(Uh... actually it probably is, but it's still not good.)

Historian:

Michigan-ND 1994:



Michigan-Purdue 1999:

Cartoon by Joel A. Morgan.

No, not FUPA. Field Position Advantage, or FPA, is a stat being tracked by Brian Fremeau over at Football Outsiders. It's simple: your average starting yard line minus the average opponent starting yard line. Michigan is currently ninth among I-A schools at +7.8; Ohio State is second at +10.4. Not sure how useful this statistic is, since the leader is 4-3 (now 4-4) TCU and Vanderbilt, East Carolina, and Maryland appear in the top ten, but it's an interesting thing to consider. Teams that suck at FPA do tend to be awful, though.

Etc.: Beilein fluff from Rivals; Purdue managers mock Michigan, get what they deserve; OSU is a money machine; UM Tailgate interviews Tyrone Wheatley; Shooting Blue reviews the McGuffie performance from last night.

Unverified Voracity Is The New Yorker

Visual evidence. Baxter Allen -- winner of the ill-fated banner contest -- sends along an artists rendition of yesterday's "M as dinosaur" flight of fancy:


It's uncanny!

It is I. Interviewed at The Big Picture, if you have interest in that sort of thing.

Hockey approacheth. Yost Built has the first inklings of a great season preview with profiles of defensemen Steve Kampfer and Chris Summers. One crab: I disagree on Kampfer's importance level, which he pegs a 7 out of 10. To me, Kampfer is the biggest swing guy on the team. Yost Built rightly notes Kampfer's extremely generous defending last year and his measly +3 plus-minus are at odds with his mid-rounds NHL draft selection, something noted here as far out, man, when it first became apparent Kampfer was something other than an undrafted free agent. If he can play up to his draft position we're likely to have two solid pairings (I assume at least one of the freshmen will show up ready to play, probably 2006 third-round pick Kevin Quick). If he dishes out enough turnovers to satisfy Charlie Weis, we're in trouble.

Also: Josh Blackburn, last seen yielding a goal on an unscreened slap shot from just inside the blueline, has been "hired" as a volunteer assistant coach to help out Billy Sauer's mental game. This is the exact equivalent of hiring Ron Powlus to coach Jimmah(!).

Maybe this is why the suck? NKOTB Shooting Blue takes a look at the 2004 recruiting class -- now juniors and redshirt sophomores -- and finds a total dearth of defensive contributors. These are the guys who are contributing in any way:

• starting DT Terrance Taylor
• Nickelback Brandon Harrison.

Yuck. (If you want to count Marques Slocum in this class, it's likely he contributes something eventually, but not now.) The rest of the defenders:

• OLB Chris McLaurin: moved to TE.
• DE Eugene Germany: knucklehead. Off team.
• DE James McKinney: transfer to Louisville after undisclosed medical issue.
• CB Chris Richards: booted in aftermath of St Patrick's Day Nerd Massacre.
• CB Johnny Sears: booted for never covering anyone failing a drug test.

Mmm, that's ugly.

Pile on. Even Buckeyes are getting into the Notre Dame hate. Ramzy at Bucknuts has a column that proves it's not just Michigan fans that love the Nation:

NDNation, the greatest form of online amusement that doesn’t offer any nudity or cash prizes, was shut down to the unregistered public for the entire Michigan game. This was probably done preemptively to keep the millions of Irish haters from polluting their otherwise bat-feces crazy discourse with ironic jest like, “Your an idiot”. Since the game ended, the board has been non-stop jack-knifed semi-truck on the edge of a cliff entertainment.

Bon mots and zingers abound.

Cartoon by Joel A. Morgan. Click for big.

MAD MONEY. Not Jim Cramer, but equally bats is this guy who attempts to link Michigan's crappy start to... Michigan's crappy economy. No. Seriously:

-Lack of Innovation
A wonderful memory of mine is the 1972 Rose Bowl, when underdog Stanford kicked a last-second field goal to beat top-ranked Michigan 13-12. What made the upset delicious was the complaint of Michigan fans that Stanford didn't play "real football"--i.e., Stanford passed the ball. The Michigan economy is locked into an old-world combination of union labor and high taxes--and pays the price.

The sucky part is that even though this man is obviously insane he has a point.

Brains imbue humor! JoePa's Michigan press conference is kind of awesome:

A lot has been made of the losing streak to Michigan, now at eight. When the players are asked a question, obviously they can't go back that far. You obviously have been there for all eight. Is there something about Michigan that just makes Penn State tighten up?

Well, the first time I coached against Fielding Yost (1901-23, '25-26), it was tough (laughter).

Every year's a little different one. We've had some good luck and bad luck. No, Michigan's a good, solid football team. Playing at Michigan is a lot of fun. It's a great crowd, and I think you ought to enjoy it. I don't look at it the way maybe some other people do.

Lloyd Carr said that Chad Henne may come back this week. How do you prepare for two quarterbacks, especially with the kid, Ryan Mallett, who has made one start and is 250 pounds?

[WTF does Mallett weight have to do with anything? lolmsm. -ed] I don't think you do that. I think you've got to realize what kind of a football team Michigan has. Mike Hart, the wideouts we just talked about, a very, very fine offensive line, are the things that you worry about. Henne at quarterback, has experience and everything else and has played well against us, and is a good quarterback.

Now, whether he's not playing or the other kid's going to play, I think you got to be careful about that. For all I know, they could put Hart as quarterback. Put him in an empty backfield, shotgun, like everybody else is in the country is doing these days. All of a sudden you have a whole different ballgame on your hands.

This is the first Michigan game that you've played since Bp Schembechler died. What was his legacy and how did he improve Michigan football and help the Big Ten?

I never coached against Bo. I can tell a story about Bo calling me up after we were in (invited to join) the Big Ten. He said, "You sneaky little son of a..."

I said, "What are you talking about, Bo? He said, "you sneaked in there and the athletic directors and coaches never had a vote because it was all presidents."

I said, "Bo, nobody sneaked in. " He started screaming and ranting. I started screaming and ranting at him. I liked Bo. Bo is the kind of guy you had to like. You know where he's coming from, no hypocritical statements. He never pontificated, said some things. I always had a lot of fun with him.

I never coached against him. I think you have to figure that he and Woody Hayes, at a stage of the Big Ten, probably dominated a lot of things. I've said this before, you guys get tired of hearing me say it, I think when Joe Tiller came into the league with a little different type of offense, that people say he can't do that here. I never forget the quote Joe Tiller made when they said about throwing the football. He said, "Don't you think it snows in Wyoming?"

I think then it started to change. This league's got a lot of great young coaches. The kid at Wisconsin (Bret Bielema). Ron Zook is going to make Illinois really good. Kirk Ferentz...I could go down the list.

I think Bo and Woody dominated the thing for a while. I think right now there's so many darn good young coaches. I think the league's got a little different personality than it did when maybe Bo and Woody were running the show. I'm not sure, because I wasn't in the league when they were running it.

Actual newsbits: projected starting DT Abe Koroma is still out. Jon Shaw will miss the game and true freshman Steven Wisnewski will take his spot. Wisnewski was a moderately shirtless recruit that Michigan also went after. Austin Scott has already fumbled four times and will split time with kick returner Rodney Kinlaw. And PSU plans on going full bore "eff you, try to stop this, oops you did let's punt" mode:

You mentioned Clark earlier. With the problems Michigan has had with mobile quarterbacks this season, is there any plan for potentially any place for him to try to take advantage of his mobility?

Michigan had a little problem with the mobile quarterback at Oregon, but that wasn't their big problem. Their problem was they spread them out so much, they couldn't do some things they like to do defensively because the kid could throw the ball.

No, we're going to play our game. We're going out to Ann Arbor and find out just how good are we. We're going to play them our game. I'm sure Lloyd will be in the same way with his guys. They're going to play their game and let's see what happens.

So bully for that.

Cartoon by Joel A. Morgan. Click for big.

Are we done? Now? How about now? Now? Now?.... no. We are not done piling on Notre Dame. Vijay has awakened from long slumber in recent weeks and has put together a Charlie Weis fact sheet analagous to the Ty Willingham Fact Sheet NDNation put together in their quest to keep the black man down return to glory. It is glorious. Selected excerpts:

Notre Dame is currently on a 5 game losing streak, their first since late 1985, early 1986.

Notre Dame has given up at least 30 points in each of those games. That's the first time that's happened since ... well, ever.

Notre Dame has scored 51 points over that 5 game stretch. That's the worst 5-game output since the tail end of the 1980 season ... but at least they won two of those games in 1980. Of course, the defense was a bit better then. Notre Dame has given up 187 points during this current 5 game stretch (a Notre Dame record) and has been outscored by 136 points (a Notre Dame record). They've been beaten by 20+ points every week of that stretch (a Notre Dame record). It would be tempting to say "at least they are losing to good teams," but Michigan was coming off a loss to 1-AA Appalachian State and a 32 point home loss to Oregon.

This is possibly the worst 5 game stretch in Notre Dame football history.

...

The 38-0 loss to Michigan ties the record for the most lopsided game in series history (tied, of course, with Michigan's 38-0 victory in 2003). The 3rd most lopsided loss in series history was last year's 47-21 Michigan win, giving Charlie Weis 2 of the top 3!

...

Trivia question: how old do you have to be to (truthfully) say that Notre Dame has a better record in your lifetime than Michigan does?

Answer: 87 years old. If you're younger than that, Michigan has a better record in your lifetime

The whole thing is highly recommended.

Etc.: South Bend Tribune article on Scott Driesbach; Pickin' On The Big Ten; the MZone checks out the latest Russell Crowe movie; BTN review; the Cal student newspaper so knows they're losing Tedford at year's end and is lashing out at anyone they can find.