OSU-Michigan Liveblog

12:02: I know I condemn Michigan to a painful loss by doing this, but this was going to be a painful loss anyway. Lavin's just gotten off a zinger, publicly wondering if UCLA's loss to Cal means they have to look for a new coach.

The much-cracked on Nike hammerpants-muscle shirt combo is a letdown and only looks kind of ridiculous.

Michigan starts with a TO, defends well enough to get a miss, and then Jerrett Smith gets downcourt for a transition layup. A couple of possessions later, Ohio State gets the same thing. And hey, Abram did something, penetrating from the high post against the zone and getting a FG.

Lavin: "both teams sharper than yesterday." Astute to point out that while Michigan shot 29%, Ohio State shot 0% yesterday. He then praises Michigan's ball movement with Dion Harris 29 feet from the basket with 6 seconds on the shot clock. And then he hammers this "no one can shoot at the United Center" theory in... color me a skeptic.

Um, Smith just penetrated and challenged Oden for a tying layup, then he throws the ball away in the backcourt. OSU timeout; they lead 6-8.

12:10 PM. Zone out of the timeout leads to a wide open OSU three; down. Another Smith turnover; Harris charge. I would normally go "arrrrgh" here, but... uh... whatever. 6-11 at the first official break. These BW3's commercias are awful.

Lavin claims that Michigan -- on pace for 40 turnovers -- has come out well offensively. Sims picks up his second foul already, which is bad because no one else has the raw size to contend with Oden. Watching Udoh trying to check him is comical.

Petway gets a slam to cut the lead to five... Ron Coleman attempts to check in still in his warmups, and the PBP guy says "you expect that from a freshman, not a junior." Tom Izzo's guys all know how to dress by the time they're sophomores. (Unless... perhaps Coleman's trying to one-up the hammerpants?)

Anyway... the Michigan offense consists mostly of the usual: passing it around the perimeter until someone has to try futile penetration and put up a tough shot.

I feel robbed that that Terwilliger guy from OSU doesn't have Anderson Varejao's hair. I mean, seriously.

12:22 PM. Michigan is frickin' airballing and bricking all manner of good looks from three. The solution? Reed Baker, Rain Maker! Or maybe he'll just check in and not do anything... except nail a three! You can't stop him. Now 11-13... Lavin calls Ivan Harris a "hired gun," ummm Boban... Lavin is going nonstop about Michgian's "pluck" or whatever... Lavin talks about the UC's great hotdogs... would someone please frickin' hire this guy?

It's 12-16 with 9:05 left in the half; they're showing Matta's kids eating pizza and talking about his gum thing; Michigan throws the ball from the frontcourt all the way to the backcourt. I hate this team sometimes. Oden gets a putback on the weak side. Michigan's playing pretty well on D, actually. Another turnover leads to a fast break OSU basket and they're up 8. Sims gets another offensive rebound (Deshawn, that is) and gets an and-one after an Oden foul. 14-20 at the under-8 break.

12:32 PM. Our RPI went nowhere with the Minnesota win. Lavin again with the UCLA stuff: "it doesn't take much to get on the hotseat at UCLA." Michigan has eight offensive rebounds on just 10 missed shots. I can't believe we have only ten missed shots. I can't believe we've rebounded eight of those. I can believe we have enough turnovers to require scientific notation. (Ron Lewis with another professional jumper from just inside the three-point line against our zone; Abram responds with an Abram three.) Lavin: "there are some advantages to the zone." Butler jacks up a three a million miles for the line; Petway tough alley-oop catch and conversion! PBP guy compares Petway to Michael Jordan. Um, okay.

Oden is playing against a guy who's tiny compared to his leviathan torso and continually goes to those hooks. Not exactly bulling Michgian over. Teams exchange threes; C. Sims throws up an ugly shot that leads to an OSU fastbreak; Lavin breaks out "sharing the sugar" again. Athletic directors of the country: Steve Lavin is the greatest coach in the universe and you would be a fool not to hire him. Under four T0, OSU up 6.

12:41 PM. D. Sims knocks down a jumper from just inside the line with the shot clock dying. Ees nice. Harris missed 3; OREB; Harris gets an Oden foul and shoots two. Ohio State fans must be livid about their defensive rebounding in this game. Lavin compares Amaker to Bill Walsh and Tom Landry... is Wooden not enough? Loose ball foul on OSU leads to more free throws. Lavin STILL comparing stuff to football. D. Sims misses the first end of a one-and-one. :( Conley puts in a circus shot to finish the half. Bleah. Down 29-34 when it could have been one.

1:05 PM. Oden finally spins to the basket instead of relying on that hook. Woo... Smith dives for a loose ball and finds Sims underneath all alone. Oden hook is missed. Oden has committed like three fouls in the first two minutes of the half... he's not in the NBA yet, jackasses.

Dammit, I hate replay. Those were clean. Grumble how about an upfake, Courtney? 11th turnover of the game. Oden hits one of those hooks; lazy Harris pass is almost a TO... Harris airballs a wide open three... HOW IS THAT NOT A CHARGE? Petway misses a putback dunk. We're down ten now at the under-four break.

1:11 PM. After the TO we throw another sloppy pass that's nearly a turnover. Conley gets Moosed by Petway; Conley's dad has a good laugh about it. Cook 3; OSU shooting 55% to our 33% and has only turned the ball over twice. Abram gets an open three and knocks it down. Smith does the same on the next possession and it's back to six. We fail to box out -- Abram! you're like 100 years old -- and Cook goes to the line for two. Sims apparently got hit on the throat trying to get a rebound on an Udoh make. Lavin wonders if he has "a sensitive Adam's apple." Tim Hardaway hates Steve Lavin!

1:23 PM. We're down five again, by the way. This game has a "Playstation 2" game track, which is really weird. Playstation 3? Udoh picks up a cheap foul; OSU OREB; putback, missed Michigan FG; fastbreak layup; we're down nine; TO.

1:27 PM. Horrible shooting, horrible Smith turnover... charge on Cook. Only OSU's fourth turnover. Smith hits a 3. OSU has given up way, way too many open looks at three when they've got Oden inside and no real Michigan post threat. Looked like Oden got totally hacked; no call; Matta T. In the Big Ten, everyone gets sodomized sooner or later. Harris knocks down both FTs and Michigan is within 4 with the ball. Cheap perimeter foul on Butler sends Abram to the line for a one-and-one... which he misses. Fourth time in two games against OSU that we've missed the front end of a one-and-one. Sims picks up a bullcrap foul trying to check Oden. Big Ten refs are garbage. Hey, how about another nothing foul on a Michigan post? Okay!

Abram wide open three in transtion -- OSU is just not getting out on Michigan shooters -- and Michigan is now within three. This is why I question Matta somewhat: his teams often display evidence they're not very well coached. Witness the lackluster performances against PSU, the offensive rebounding today, the defensive shortcomings, the weird addiction to that press in the first game. It doesn't matter if you can recruit Oden and Conley, though -- and given OSU's classes down the road, Matta's recruting is no freak occurrence.

Oden and one again. Hurray. TO under 8, Michigan down five with an Oden FT coming.

1:40 PM. Is a 16-9 run really a run? Smith gets himself buried under the basket; TO. Oden inside for another bucket. Taking over. Lewis fouled, going to the line, after an ugly Michigan possession. OSU about to put this one away. Lewis hits both and the lead is 10.

The NIKE uniforms do look pretty stupid. Wide open Conley three; lead 11 after some Harris FTs. It looks like OSU has duct tape on their shoulders. There's a weird little silver patch.

If you met Greg Oden on the street, how old would you think he is? Like... 800, right? You can't be that enormous and craggy without having hit your eighth century. OSU alley-oop.

Yeah, this game's over. We're down 11 with under five and have just turned it over again. So let's talk coaching.

Amaker should be fired. I wouldn't be opposed to him becoming the women's coach if keeping his wife around is really important, though.

What are the chances he is fired? I don't know. Detroit newspaper columnists keep writing things about how he definitely won't be but there are rumblings from within the program that he's in trouble. There are probably two warring camps, which we'll call "Camp Fire Amaker" and "Camp Crispy Pops."



The Crispy Pops people speak the language of dumb and are thus natural allies of Terry Foster and Drew Sharp. Of course they'll report Amaker's not going anywhere. It may even be true, but I don't think it's a given. Martin has backed off his previous statements and is engaging in careful AD-speak. Usually it's "we'll evaluate him after the season" -- Michigan turnover -- which is a far cry from the "we're joined at the hip" of a year ago -- helpful ESPN graphic shows he's made one NCAA tourney in 10 years as a coach.

So I'm saying there's a chance. Unless Bill Martin wants the worst attendance in a long, long time -- this year was already the worst since 1982 -- he has to make a change. And it's not like Michigan, which loses Harris, Abram, Sims, and Petway, is poised to improve next year. The backcourt is going to be freshmen and Smith. Our posts will be sophomores and freshmen. We have no one to play the wing, really. Unless Amaker proves he's a different coach than ten friggin' years indicates, that team's headed for the NIT, too.

The most realistic candidates are going to be mid-major guys. I suppose we can take a run at Mike Montgomery or a fired Tubby Smith, but this program is no longer at the level where it can get a Gillespie from A&M. So you're looking at a guy from Winthrop or Southern Illinois or somewhere in the MVC, most likely. Or Mike Debord.

72-62 final. NIT games coming up at Crisler; I suggest you show up as an empty seat.

Basketball @ Wisconsin Liveblog

Hello. It's livebloggin' time. Michigan plays in Madison against the #2 Badgers and projects to get ham sandwiched like you wouldn't believe, at least if you're a perpetually pessimistic Michigan basketball fan. And if you're not... why aren't you? Autism?

Anyway. Bo Ryan can do this:



So we're totally going to lose.

8:00 PM. Hey... the game is at nine. Uh. Nevermind. Catch you in an hour.

9:03 PM. I think this is the second thing that wasn't hockey I ever watched on Comcast Local. Not a good start for the color guy, who can't even read his "keys to the game." Courtney Sims is sporting a creepy 'stache. He wins the tap. Maybe this is like a creepy child-molesting Sampson thing.

So Michigan manages to miss three shots on its first possession, then gets a postup from Abram for a 2-0 lead. Everyone on the team has new haircuts. This is critical information. Tucker misses and Harris nails a deep three; we're up 5-0. Um. 7-0. Harris transition runner off glass.

Wow. We're 8th in the country in three-point shooting. Block inside, missed bunny, open Coleman jumper in transition goes down. 9-0. Offensive rebounds for UW lead to a Petway foul on Tucker; he's one of two and it's 9-1. And a Harris turnover; Harris turnover on the next possession. One of Wisconsin's players is rocking awesome glasses. Third straight turnover after Butch quote-unquote "threw down" Courtney Sims but was not called. First break: 9-3 Michigan.

We appear to have Petway on Tucker, which is an interesting attempt to neutralize their best player with a guy who can, like, block many things.

9:15 PM. I don't actually think Courtney Sims needs to stay out of foul trouble, as he's unnoticeable. Defensive breakdown leads to an Abram foul but two bricked FTs. We're getting jacked by the refs; weak foul on Coleman. Jerrett Smith: new haircut. Abram lets a cutter through for an easy hoop. Second straight bad play from Abram on defense. We follow it up with a turnover, and this is the Michigan basketball team we all know and barely tolerate. Another touch loose ball foul and we already have five fouls to Wisconsin's 0. (Turnovers: 4-0, Wisconsin.) Now 9-9; nice move by Butch.

9:20 PM. Smith carries the ball; turnover. Wisconsin's Guy Who Looks Like Chris Rock Guy all up in his face as the clock wound down after a Udoh offensive rebound. Tucker shoves away a Michigan defender and gets a foul; Bo Ryan is livid. Abram manages to pick up a 15-footer. And he picks up a foul(!). Second commercial break.

Udoh and Deshawn Sims have been in for this last little stretch and haven't done much. Big Ten Wonk's scouting report on Wisconsin has borne out so far. On defense they never try to block shots. They just stay in position, get their hands up and in your face, and make you shoot over them.

Wisconsin's student section: the "Grateful Red." Stupidest name in all of college basketball student sections?

Abram toasted again by some guy who sounds like his last name goes on a jar of sauerkraut; more dribble penetration, this one from Brian Butch... uh, sag off that guy? Sims got elbowed in the face on that play; no call. Wisconsin now leads for the first time, 15-13. Petway HUGE dunk. Stiemsma (this is not the proper spelling, I don't care) posterized and picks up a foul. Tied again. Super. Petway takes an obvious charge: blocking foul. Michigan now in the penalty with ten minutes left in the half. Smith gets called for traveling. Seven turnovers. We're keeping pace with the fouls. Another traveling call. I hate college basketball.

You know, it's really irritating to see Ryan bitch after every call against his team when they have three fouls and we have eighty seven. Udoh's first shot is an ugly brick... and hey, another off-the-ball foul. Eight minutes left in the half, Wisconsin by four. We have eight fouls and eight turnovers.

9:36 PM. Tucker has two fouls? This was not useful information for the announcers to relate when it happened? Sims hits a long hook shot. Bad shot, but it goes in. Feel the power of the creepy mustache. Sims travel; forget the mustache. Wisconsin turnover -- pass thrown into two guys -- leads to Udoh getting two on a nice post move that ends up getting goaltended. No... seriously, this Wisconsin team is like a polite version of Rasheed Wallace whenever called for a foul. Udoh runs over Butch on an innocent pass near the three point line. Unnecessary. I'd call it a freshman mistake, but... uh... yeah. Abram bricks a three; Deshawn Sims gets wildly out of position yield a dunk. Wisconsin by five. Abram brick; Sims foul in the backcourt leads to more Wisconsin foul shots. Front end of the one-and-one missed. Courtney Sims with a weak offensive foul. A turnover and a foul all in one; Guy Who Looks Like Chris Rock Guy nails a three. Jerrett Smith bricks a left-handed runner. Taylor fouled; more foul shots. I hate college basketball.

No, seriously, why do I do this to myself? Michigan's turnover and foul-filled badcoachingfest is only brought into starker relief when playing Wisconsin, a team that hardly ever does either of those things. I'm sticking to this 20-point rule, by the way.

9:48 PM. CSims fouled after a nice Smith pass to set up what would have been a dunk otherwise. CSims one of two. Udoh lets a guy in front of him for a two-pointer... turnover. I hate college basketball. A charging foul on Wisconsin. Smith sets up Udoh and gets him to the line and converts; UW turnover and another Smith pass that setes up a CSims layup. Wisconsin three. Sims dunk again; sealing Landry. Udoh block on Taylor; Landry block on Smith coming down at the end of the half. 33-26, UW.

Well: we've shot well and made a number of nice plays, but we've committed a ton of fouls and turnovers. Defensively we've let Wisconsin have a ton of easy opportunities, three of which can be left directly at Lester Abram's feet. Smith's played well. Harris missed most of the half after picking up two quick fouls, neither of which was particularly smart or necessary.

10:04 PM. 90% of the commercials at halftime have been for either the schools or the conference. It's like college hockey on FSN, where every ad is for some Ilitch-related enterprise like Little Caesar's or horrible miscarriages of acting at the Fox Theater or wherever. Feel the advertising dollars pour... somewhere else.

10:06 PM. Note: I think we only have three or four attempts from beyond the arc. Wisconsin has smartly limited our opportunities. Correction: we have TWO three-point attempts. (Space, bitches!) Part of that is Harris being out; part of it is not having anyone who can dribble penetrate, and part of that is just Wisconsin. Montage of the first half consist mostly of people bitching at the referees; no surprise.

Dude, Tucker, their best player by a country mile, only played five minutes in the first half and we were still down seven. Wooo Abram foul. Woo easy layup for Tucker. Woo bricked Harris three; woo layup for Wisconsin. Coleman comes off a screen deep into the shot clock and hits a tough fallaway. Woo? GWLLCRG misses a three; Sims takes a eighteen footer. We get a rebound the other end, it's stripped and Petway gives up the basket and a foul. Tucker picks up another foul and will have to sit again. And Harris picks up his third on the next possession. Woo. Wisconsin by 11 at the first commercial break.

10:17 PM. A commenter suggests that the now-defunct "Gene Pool" at Purdue had a stupider name than the "Grateful Red," but I disagree. Both are stupid, but one at least refers to, you know, science and stuff instead of a band adored by Bill Walton.

Udoh commits another foul. Abram is visibly disgusted, and so am I. Wisconsin scores, Sims blocked. Harris left wide open for three; hideous brick. Another Wisconsin layup and a Michigan timeout. Wisconsin up 15; we are potentially two possessions away from the 20-point rule.

10:23 PM. Turnover! No. The Badger guy got a finger on it. Smith tossed the ball away when he had an open three. Harris does get a three, but bricked. Okay, this is ridiculous. Every trip down the floor Michigan picks up a ticky-tack foul. I, attempting to follow the magnanimous lead of Big Ten Wonk -- one of his "four dullest topics for a college hoops blog" is refereeing -- attempt to not go all tinfoil hat, but goddamn this home/away thing in the Big Ten is unbelievable. If you are on the road in this league you have no chance of getting a fair whistle. Petway's just fouled out with 12:43 left in the game, then he got T-ed up. A joke. A goddamn joke. I hate college basketball.

10:29 PM. Meanwhile, we've gotten a five-minute break for no particular reason. Feel the competence emanating from every pore on these referee's bodies. Abram hits a three; I'm torn because of the 20 point rule. DSims is awful defensively at this point in his career, allowing Landry to blow by for the easiest two points ever.

10:39 PM. Well, Jerrett Smith just got killed on a Graham-Brown-esque screen. He's down and staying down. Wisconsin ignores a Reed Baker-Tucker mismatch in the post and nails a three. Coleman with a jumper. Tucker hacked by Abram. Next possession for Wisconsin: Tucker blows by Abram. Wisconsin shooting 60%; Abram travel. Wisconsin up 19 with the ball. Tension! Udoh foul! Wisconsin hits a free-throw! Twenty-point rule invoked!