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Friday, July 22, 2005

Blue-Gray Sky has a post up on Notre Dame enemies which requires some addressing, as Michigan features prominently on the list. Now, they're good guys over at BGS but they're clearly delusional after the last ten or so years of utter irrelevance. Three points:

First. Desmond Howard, is dubbed a "one-hit wonder," which is not true. There were two additional hits in the Desmond Howard career, one against Ohio State and then a Super Bowl MVP performance. In between he was a valuable, underrated contributor to many teams as a returner who never lived up to the hype. He was one of the best of his generation at what he did, but everyone concentrated on what he wasn't instead of what he was. Thus he is closer to De La Soul than Vanilla Ice. Desmond is also claimed to be a "poor man's Rocket Ismail," to which I only have this and this to say.

Second, there's a reference to Lloyd Carr's hypothetical "boobs." Let's review...
This is Coach Carr:

Notice that he apparently can stand under his own power. Also the number of chins is easily in the single digits. Also note no detectable mammary activity.

This is Charlie "Bigger than Christ" Weis:

"Bun yo kabuk noni Notre Dame."

Sorry about the rather standard cheap shot, but no references by Notre Dame fans to quote-unquote "man boobs" are acceptable. That is Blog Revolution-level Pot-Kettle-Black. That's like a Michigan fan criticizing some other team for losing road games against Pac-10 teams, if it was done in a fashion befitting a sixth grader. A retarded sixth grader.

Third, BGS forgot Notre Dame's main enemy:

There's no BCS, there's just me.
The Inexorable March Of Time. It's been 12 years since Notre Dame finished in the top ten of any poll. The only success over the past 24 years has been under Lou Holtz, who cheated at Minnesota, cheated at Arkansas, cheated at South Carolina, and cheated at... yes, Notre Dame, unless you are really, really naive. Now over a decade removed from the slightest whiff of relevance, Notre Dame is the nation's capitol for faintly racist white wide receivers... so I guess they've got that going for them. Willingham left the program in a shambles, and in a few years when Weis finds out that he is not, in fact, the BEST COACH IN THE OOOONIVERSE, he'll probably go on a shooting rampage and die in six to seven electric chairs.

Let's see... 99% white private Catholic school in the whitest part of White Supremacy: The State that now hopes to hit up the Insight Bowl every two or three years or so if they've had a really good season and plays USC every year. That is a recipe for a National Championship Game played on January 4th, Never Friggin' Ever Again.

Notre Dame fans wanting to see a legitimate title contender are hereby advised to get cranking on those time machines because if you don't see kids limping around with polio at sometime in the near future the chances of ever seeing that unlikely occurence again are reading zero.

Comparison: Death. He's coming for you. There's nothing you can do to stop it.