Bruce To Bruce

No pooftahs! You may or may not know that Bruce Feldman's ESPN Insider blog is having an ongoing contest designed to screw with the heads of his recalcitrant moving company.

Well, Wisconsin BlogPoller Bruce Ciskie took home the latest fabulous prize package by correctly deducing that "Oklahoma +4 Moving Company" meant... well, here's Bruce (ESPN Bruce, no pooftahs!):

Congrats to Bruce Ciskie from Proctor, Minn., who correctly answered that OU +4 was "Oklahoma's average margin of victory over Texas the last five years is four points lower than the number of days it's now taken the movers to deliver your stuff." For his genius, Bruce will receive a copy of the ESPN Sports Almanac; a Romain Sato Russian nesting doll; a Starter foam Bruinhead (donated by ESPN The Mag writer Eric Adelson); an official Fox 40 referee whistle (unused!) donated by my colleague The Skunk, and a special mystery prize plucked from some unsuspecting stooge in my office.

Allow myself to introduce the five progressively Mini-er-Mes lodged inside my body.

Bruce received the fabulous prize package. His reaction: sweet. But there's no mention of the mysterious, er, mystery prize snatched from the desk of an ESPN colleague. What could it be? Chris Berman's nickname-testing card?

Mike "Shot Through The" Hart "And You're To Blame, You Give Love A Bad Name (Bad Name)"? -XXX too long.
"Pope" Urban "Planning" Meyer? -XXX mixed metaphor.
Steve "Breaston" - XXX That's actually his name.

Stuart Scott's list of rejected catchphrases?

"Cool as the other side of the sun."
"Look at me! I'm pretending to be black!"
"Boom goes the DY-NO-MITE!"

Stephen A. Smith's fan mail?

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The mind boggles!