Totally Irresponsible Speculation Theatre

I've got a crack team of speculators working around the clock on this one, so hear me out. Yes, they're monkeys. Yes, I'm teaching them to skate so they can radically improve the efficacy of CCHA officiating. What?

Er. In any case, does anyone think Lloyd Carr is acting a little... weird this year? tienmao screencapped exhibit A. It's Carr hugging ABC sideline reporter Suzy Shuster in the immediate aftermath of the Iowa game. Yeah. Weird. He's also got video up if you're interested.

Quite a change from "that's a stupid question" (it was a stupid question, by the way) a few years ago, albeit in different circumstances. To boot, when I watched Michigan Replay this weekend Lloyd was extra special choked up upon receiving the game ball from his players in commemoration of his 100th win.

(Also, you know that Starbucks commercial where Survivor shows up and starts going "Roy! Roy Roy Roy!" at office workers enjoying whatever caffeine explosion they happened to be marketing? Yeah... imagine the entire Michigan team doing that in the locker room after the game except replacing "Roy! Roy Roy Roy!" with "Lloyd! Lloyd Lloyd Lloyd!"

Go on. Imagine it.

....

Exactly. It's fantastic. Once I get a six pin to six pin firewire cable (thanks for nothing, Circuit City) it's the first thing off my DVR, I promise. )

This outburst of weird follows a bunch of similar statements about never forgetting the Penn State game or the Michigan State game or whatever, the kind of things you say when you're getting hopelessly maudlin about something that's about to be a part of your past. I mean, there's no real reason to go OMG BFF 4EVER about the wins we've eked out in this season of mediocrity. They've been nice, sure, but Carr's reaction strikes me as something similar to that of a cube-dweller on the verge of getting gold-watched. I will never forget this penholder. I treasure the memory of this fine and excellent stapler for all time. O Phone, without whom I am naught, I shall always hold your prominently-displayed number close to my heart. Paper clips! Finest of the shaped metal office aids! I sing thy name! And so forth and so on.

The upshot? (Joey, you may want to sit down, or at least grab something sturdy.) I think this is it for Carr. I think he's going to retire after the season. Now, I want to stress this is complete and total wild-ass speculation, but the rumblings have been going on for a few years now that Carr's tired of dealing with, um, our constant bitching and putting in the requisite head-coach 200-hour weeks. And now he's hugging sideline reporters. I just get this vibe that Lloyd's going to turn to the camera after our bowl game, scream "Seacrest out," and then teleport somewhere far, far away from us--probably an island in the Carribean where punting is always the right decision.

But I also said Purdue was going 10-1, so, uh... you know. Grain of salt and all that.