Unverified Voracity: Stop Being Nice To Us Edition

Cease and desist, spreaders of unwarranted glee! Okay, yes, Michigan basketball is 7-0 with a nice road win over Notre Dame and a couple of victories over decent to good mid-majors. This does not warrant what can only be called "big heapum story," to use patently offensive faux-Native American lingo in an attempt to get banned from the Alamo Bowl.

Seriously. If you ever needed to know about the extent of uber-hoops blogger Yoni Cohen's diabolical mind-control, look here. He posts this little thing:

Don't Look Now...

By Yoni Cohen on Wed Dec 14, 2005 at 10:44:38 AM EST

but Tommy Amaker has the Michigan Wolverines at 7-0, including wins over Miami and Notre Dame.

Up next? UCLA. (I love this game).

And whoomp: FOXSports CNNSI ESPN ESPN(2)($) ESPN(3)($). Okay, three are just mentions of Michigan in "these teams started well" columns and the estimable Grant Wahl's CNNSI version places UM squarely in the "???" category where they belong, but goddamn that's a lot of mention for a team that hasn't done anything since Charles Woodson was still bumping the winged helmet. So...

There it is indeed.

Sweet sassy molassey.

Yes.

Molassey.

[/Typical Hack Sportswriter]

Anyway, other than one of the Insider articles (written by Ken Pomeroy... ESPN Insider has already assimilated Kyle Whelliston; how long before Wonk gets picked up?) on Horton's radically improved efficiency, most of them are reduced to handwaving about BU after mentioning the ND and Miami games:

It started with the second game of the season. That's when Michigan played at Boston U. ...The 51-46 victory wasn't easy and it wasn't a thing of beauty, but it was Michigan showing some toughness and grit. And it was a start.

Let's be clear: Michigan's start is mostly smoke and crap opponents (not to devalue the ND win but it was one game, and one that easily could have turned into a loss). But the media loves a redemption story, especially when you have Horton's tragic soap opera taking center stage and the cachet of the big block M looming in the background. Thus storydammerung. I say bah humbug, at least temporarily.

If, and this is a major if, Michigan beats UCLA on Saturday, yes, they are headed for the unprecedented heights of a meaningful March... hell, a meaningful February, and then you should unleash the floodgates of OMG YAY. Until then, please poke Michigan's 7-0 start with a stick and a cautiously cocked eyebrow--it could still bite.

Holy crap UPDATE: Big Ten Wonk's first All Wonk Team of 05-06 has not one but two Wolverines on it, plus Graham Brown and his Rebound Machine waiting in the wings. Please consider this definitive proof that I'm totally right about this:

Is this all just a smidge too much love for a team that beat Boston U. by five? Dunno. Tune in Saturday.

Aye... 'Tis. Aye, t'will. Hyyyarrr!

Speaking of tortured segues... er... bite. Andrew Cogliano is impressing at Team Canada's WJC camp, scoring two goals in their latest scrimmage. He is a lock to make the team and will likely be featured on one of Canada's top lines. Yay for Cogs, grim for GLI. Also: Guy Flaming has an extensive, quality article up at Hockey's Future on the man the shirtless cocaine addict who sits behind me at Yost calls "Drew Cogs!!!"

Etc: extensive feature on Woodley in the Daily; Braves & Birds echoes my NFL ennui; Lloyd Carr's totally crunked up playoff--what? playoff? HELP HELP LLOYD CARR HAS BEEN ABDUCTED BY AL--