Recruiting Board Updated

Update 6/2: Linked to article on the four major D-I prospects at Warren Central in Indiana, including commit Jerimy Finch, and PittLive article on PA WR Toney Clemons. Removed PA H-back Steve Paskorz (ND); added OK OL Matt Romine, TN LB Chris Walker, CA RB Curtis Shaw. Linked to GBW article on Mallet.

Editorial Opinion: Stars have started coming down the pike from Rivals. Those who received the (somewhat) coveteted fifth star are being revealed in batches, as attempting to comprehend their beauty all at once would be a fatal endeavor. Of note thus far are QB commit Ryan Mallet, CB Ronald Johnson, and DT Joseph Barksdale.

Pittlive's article on Toney Clemons says that the internet says Clemons should go to Pitt, as he has much family there:

When word spread that track star Mycaiah Clemons was transferring from Virginia Tech to Pitt, it didn't take long for Internet message boards to do the mathematics.

That means Toney Clemons now has two sisters at Pitt (Mycah Clemons will be a senior) and puts the Panthers in the lead for the Valley stud receiver. Right?

(Yellow card for use of "stud" in reference to something other than horses or nails to article author Kevin Gorman.) Gorman than pulls a NSFMF:

As for his family influence, Clemons doesn't deny that he comes from a tight-knit family, but added that Michigan receiver Steve Breaston (Woodland Hills) is a cousin.

"People say 'Pitt' because of what my sisters are doing," Toney Clemons said. "But there's a lot of dudes who say, 'Get away.' They know location is not a factor to me and that I have friends and family all over the country."

FWIW, a tipster offers the, er, tip that certain Buckeye insiders believe Clemons to be a Michigan commit in all but name. That's somewhere between third and fifth hand, so take it as seriously as you want to, but Signs Are Good.

GBW has this tendency to write articles about West Coast recruits who are really really interested in Michigan and are then never mentioned again, but Curtis Shaw has an offer and plans to visit, so on the board he goes. Shaw doesn't seem attached to staying in California, either, with a list composed of Michigan, Nebraska, Washington, and Cal. Time will tell. Also: this is poor form for a man who presents wince-inducing typos to the world at large on a daily basis, but I have to highlight this glorious malapropism...

When the time comes that Shaw does begin to widdle down his list of schools, the back is still unsure of what criteria he will use in determining the right place for him.

...as one only gets so many opportunities in life to envision a prospective football commitment as a small, incotinent dog.

Steve Paskorz's Irish commit is shrug-worthy but presents an opportunity for sarcastic digs -- also known as "Brian's oxygen" -- so here we go. First, the South Bend Tribune's headline writer knows where is bread is buttered, turning a fairly innocuous commit article with this mention of Paskorz's existing offers...

"I accepted as soon as they offered," said the 6-foot-2, 220-pound Paskorz, who chose the Irish over Virginia, Michigan, West Virginia, Pittsburgh and Iowa. "Everyone pretty much went crazy."

... into this headline:

OMG! Irish beat out Michigan for linebacker!!!!11!

Exclamation points and "OMG" mine. Also, Paskorz apparently doesn't watch any football past the high school level (which might explain his fascination with ND):

"We never really recorded my defensive stats because I always thought I was going to be a running back," Paskorz said.

Yes, this has been a Bangkok brothel of a paragraph: cheap and dirty but so, so satisfying. Hypothetically.

It's always bad news when an article starts like so...

It is no secret that Ryan Mallett has an absolute hammer of an arm.

(Hamster of an arm? Ham sandwich? I learn from a book. I am from Barcelona.) ... but it's too late to un-link it now. It's the same thing you've heard before: cannon/gun/artillery piece for an arm, well placed footballs winning the Battle of Britain, etc. "Knit picked" are his mobility and lack of supercool Billy Idol hair. &c.

Despite getting an offer from Michigan, Devon Torrence remains excluded from the happy hunting grounds on grounds of library masturbation Buckeye fandom:

"It's no secret that I'm a Buckeye in my heart," Torrence said in a recent interview with Scout.com. "I really feel that Ohio kids should play for their state if given the chance. But if Ohio State does not offer me I have to seriously look at Michigan.”

He also lists his two leaders as NC State and Arizona State. OSU likely knows the score with Torrence and wants to get him into camp so they can be really sure they want to offer, as when they do he'll commit the instant Tressel says "Escal--".

The board can be found in its entirety here.