Newspapers Filled With Illiterate Columnists

Louisville Courier-Journal columnist Rick Bozich and his heavily airbrushed headshot take on the Internets. Hilarity ensues.* Here's a passage citing Blogpoll brethren Burnt Orange Nation:

After I had uncovered Web sites advocating the dismissals of John L. Smith at Michigan State, Houston Nutt at Arkansas, Urban Meyer at Florida, Brooks and others, I did research on coaches who should be untouchable -- such as Brown, whose team dispatched Southern California in the Rose Bowl last January.

Silly me.

Or silly Longhorns fans. You decide. My search took me to a site named www.burntorangenation.com, where a fan delivered this rant:

"Even though he was behind the national title last year, I find myself not fully believing in Mack Brown? With Number 10 (quarterback Vince Young) gone, I find it difficult to believe that Texas will slip back into its very good, but not championship-level, rate of 10 wins a season."

Throw the bum out. Immediately. Maybe Fred Akers or John Mackovic is available to return to Austin.

Does that passage qualify as a rant? It seems like concern expressed reasonably. There must be a special dictionary for newspapers that defines rant like so:

1. An impassioned, often harsh speech or essay characterized by anger.
2. Anything written on the Internet.

Curious definitions aside, Bozich would be making a good point... if someone from Burnt Orange Nation had written that. BON did no such thing. The cited passage comes from Notre Dame/Halloween candy blog Rakes of Mallow and found its way to BON specifically to be rebutted:

I just don't understand what people want from Mack Brown. He did very well with the Texas players he inherited, he's done damn well with the players he's recruited, and he won a national title with his 2002 #1 recruiting class - many of whom are still on this year's team. I guess I just fail to see how you can have a six year stretch like Mack Brown has had and still have people saying, "Yeah, but..."

... He's one of the best coaches in America, and there's no penalty for winning a national title "just because of" your elite talent. That's exactly what's supposed to happen. And it did.

Add in Bozich missing the subtle sarcasm of CanCharlie.com and the score is Internet Ranters 2, Bozich 0.

*(Several people have theorized that the only thing in the English language that actually "ensues" is a kickoff. Note that "hilarity" is also a member of this privileged group of nouns.)