Unverified Voracity: USC USC USC Edition

There was that one guy, whatshisface... Gore? Lane Kiffin must be that guy from Memento. From Scott Wolf's USC blog:

It's easy to get fixated on freshmen because they are new faces, but wide receiver Travon Patterson seems ready to assume a vital role. Patterson turned a 5-yard pass into about a 60-yard play and he's clearly the fastest receiver.
"Travon brings something we haven't had in five years,'' offensive coordinator Lane Kiffin said.

Unless "something" is "a guy named Travon," I'm pretty sure he's wrong no matter what he's talking about.

Yeah... Pete Carroll. I'm beginning to think that the similarity of his last name to "Carrell" is no coincidence, as he can't get enough of hilarious stunts that seem better placed on the set of The Office.

As an assistant coach gave the Trojans a tongue-lashing while watching video of a lackluster afternoon practice, Carroll--complete in an official Wonder Bread NASCAR racing uniform and helmet--appeared from the back of the room, accompanied by the roar of an engine and shrouded by the smoke of a fog machine. Carroll raced to the front of the room and, as the team howled in laughter, informed the Trojans that they were going to take a break from football and go to the campus theater to watch the nation's hottest movie, "Talladega Nights, The Ballad Of Ricky Bobby."

Unbeknownst to Carroll, the REAL Ricky Bobby--Ferrell, a former USC student--came in from the side door, also decked out in his NASCAR outfit. A stunned Carroll and his Trojans erupted.

Aaaand Bill Simmons just threw up in his mouth. Apparently the chances of Pete Carroll returning to the NFL are nil, because he can't play wacky forgiving dad to grown men. Did he try this stuff with the Patriots? And if so was he surprised when they stopped listening to him? The interaction between The Orgeron and Carroll must have been fascinating.

Hilarious sidenote:

In previous seasons, a number of celebrities besides Ferrell have visited Carroll's Trojans at practices and games: Snoop Dogg, Nick Lachey, Spike Lee, Henry Winkler, George Lucas, Alyssa Milano, Kirsten Dunst, Sophia Bush, Chad Michael Murray, LeVar Burton, The Game and Anthony Kiedis.

Maybe it's just me. (via Feldman($), who diplomatically refers to it as "more offbeat stuff.")

Etc.: Philadelpha Inquirer article on Avant; Tom Friend got a call from Clarett on his night of aborted rampage/suicide/lint removal; Michigan Sports Center has video of the Cold Pizza interviews with Hart and Henne; Mike Farrell makes mountain out of instate recruiting foothill.