Unverified Voracity Is All About The Ladies

Awwwww yeeeeeah. This post comes with audio accompaniment and should be experienced multimedia style. Oh yes.



I swear this came from a reader tip and not my regular perusing of Essence, but, um, Braylon is going to stare directly into your soul now.

This is from Essence's apparently annual issue dedicated to "Do Right Men." Braylon is one of three "ballers" included. But wait! There's more!

So now Dhani Jones has just stared directly into your soul. I bet your soul is feeling a little... naked at the moment. And willing. Oh yes.

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Uh. Anyway. Though the Do Right Men are all sort of really, really eligible bachelors and the NFL guys participated in a photo shoot in which they were -- wait for it -- OMG shirtless (feverish searching can be cut short; it's here), they were also selected for being generally awesome individuals. Dhani, of course, has been active with charities since he entered the league, and Braylon's been giving a scholarship to any kid in Cleveland who looks at him funny. It reflects well on the program that when Essence scoured the NFL for players who were not only hottt but also good people, it came up with two Michigan guys.

It also lets us know important things like how Dhani gets his care on:

MOST ROMANTIC MOVE: "I was dating a girl who loved tea. So I found her favorite loose tea and wrote messages on the empty tea bags so that every time she filled them up, she got a new message."

And then there's the Braylon guestbook, which is full of:

iam lost for words, iam a 36 yrs old and wish the black men looked this good in manchester,nh

-vanessa laing

Hi Braylon, I admire how you give kids the chance to go to college. You have a nice smile. (and a GREAT body) :) Thank God for essence!! LOL I hope you find the woman of your dreams and may she be all you dreamed of her being. Who knows maybe I'll win the contest and get a chance to meet you one day. Until then, stay strong and continue doing what your doing. God Bless

-Tiara R.

IT IS SOMETHING ABOUT YOU EYES, THAT MAKES ME FEEL SO.... NAKED!!!!(LOL) [told you so. -ed] YOUR TO HOT -ANGIE(LIL-MOMMA)LE.

But no one mentions how frickin' awesome he was in that Michigan State game. Like... WTF?

Caution advised. Remember Justin Fargas? Nation's top tailback recruit in '97, had one nice game as a mudder versus Northwestern, exploded his leg, moved to safety, transfered to USC, and emerged impossibly buffed up as a quasi-starter his senior year? No? The one who's dad was Huggy Bear. There. Now we are on the same page.

Given all that it's interesting to check out this video of Fargas in his high school days, apparently put together by a family member who would like to wish him congradulations [sic] on his achievements:



Caution? Screw it. Scout got a few prospects together for some pictures; two of them were OSU commit JB Shugarts and Sam McGuffie. Shugarts entered a two-point stance. McGuffie jumped over him. And did a flip just because.


Space, bitches.

You hate us, you want to be us yesssss join the darkside. An array of Penn State blogs have weekly roundtables in which they bat questions back and forth to each other. This week's edition had the following question:

If you had to choose between being a fan of The Ohio State University, The University of Michigan, and Notre Dame who would you choose and why?

Whoah. Penn State fans are about to deliver a massive payload of maize and blue hatr--

I would say Michigan because their fan base is generally well regarded. THEosu fans have one of the worst reputations in football – just ask them they'll tell you and Notre Dame… well let's just say I know the Irish starting offensive line, I'm a Lutheran, and I don't have an arrogant sense of self worth so that disqualifies me for the Irish.

That's weird. Probably a deviant or something. Next?

Michigan. Because then I'd still have a fantastic reason to hate Ohio State!

Um. Wha?

Michigan hands down. Buckeyes think winning national championships is their birth right. Notre Dame fans think your respect is their birth right. Michigan fans think not having to talk to stupid people is their birth right.

I don't think I've ever been so accurately described in a sentence. Surely the last guy...

University of Michigan – they own us, so if you can't beat them, join them. They also lack an overwhelming number of arrogant assholes in their fan base (Notre Dame) and don't inhabit a dangerous, poo-filled Styrofoam cooler infested environment (tOSU). Oh yeah, and one more thing "Space, Bitches."

Huh. Who knew?

Etc.: Johnny has returned from wherever to RBUAS. Said return is up to his usual standard.