Unverified Voracity Is Hard Like Ned

Yessssss. The much-rumored return of Carson Butler is official:

Michigan tight end Carson Butler, who had been kicked off the team last spring, has returned to practice, coach Lloyd Carr said.

Mike Massey has "won the starting job" according to the News, though that's likely a distinction without a difference with the prevalence of two-TE sets in the zone game. Less good things in that article: Alex Mitchell is beaten up and will miss the Appalachian State game and possibly Oregon. It'll be interesting to see if we get a Schilling-Ortmann combo on the right side.

(Said article is an insta-post from an ongoing Carr presser. Will update with relevant info when transcripts become available.)

tWaWoW. That's a supercool abbreviation for "The Wit And Wisdom Of Weis," something that originated in a previous post and is going to be an erratic feature as long as Charlie Weis keeps saying inane, pompous things.

Anyway: a couple people emailed me about this Clausen-Natty Lite thing, which is totally uncompelling as collegiate hijinks go. Man named "Hand" soliciting a prostitute: hilarious. College freshman making a beer run: dog bites man. BGS was right about a hysterical article from local wannabe muckracker Jeff Carroll and, in general, the ridiculous hubbub about a nothing offense. Buying a 30-rack of Natty Lite is the most masculine thing Clausen's ever done. Celebrate it.

But the incident did provide an opportunity for Charlie Weis to say something about it. Listen, kids, and learn:

"I think it's out of ignorance - and by ignorance I mean lack of knowledge," Weis said.

We keep a list of everyone's money! We put the list in a safe place! Weis went on to point out that despite Clausen's obvious affection for Billy Idol's haircut, he wasn't getting beer to stick it to the man:

"I don't think he was defiantly trying to get himself into trouble with the law."

Oh. I see.

Vote for Ned. Deadspin is inducting people/things/memes/horses into its hall of fame. As fans of college football and things that are 100% pure Colombian awesome, you should go vote for Ned, the injured FIU Panther who risked life and limb to hobble out onto the field when FIU just came into the OB.

Do it for your country.

Grist. Ryan Mundy, now a Mountaineer, on the differences between the two S&C programs:

“It’s totally different down here from the strength and conditioning program to the practice schedule. It’s just a different type of attitude,” he said. “Compared to Michigan, which is an already established program, down here at West Virginia we’re right at that peak right now and we’ve got to go over the hump.”

As far as the strength and conditioning program is concerned, Mundy says West Virginia’s program is much more intense than Michigan’s. Other players that have transferred to West Virginia have said similar things in the past, explaining that at some other places the players coming into the program are physically bigger and more explosive. West Virginia develops it.

“Down here we do a lot of Olympic lifts – squats, power clings, hang clings and things like that – and I hadn’t done that type of stuff since high school,” Mundy said. “I had to get my body back used to doing those types of movements. As far as the practice down here we run after practice and we never ran after practice at Michigan.”

Any S&C zealot wishing to use this as ammo, you're welcome. It'll be interesting to see what progress he makes this year, though Mundy's problems were always more mental than physical. I respectfully disagree with this assessment of his play:

“I bounced back and I played in all 12 games last year and I played well,” he said.

Um. No.

Captain stuff. Okay. I don't get the fretting about Chad Henne not being a captain. Michigan's had three forever, and there was a returning fifth-year senior who was a captain last year filling one slot. One slot had to go to the defense. And Mike Hart was neither of the above players. You can make a strong case that Ghandi would have been passed over in that situation. So a minor barrage of comments worrying about a lack of leadership on this year's team and Maize 'n' Brew's disappointed post about our overlooked quarterback strike me as strange. Approximate impact on season, IMO: zero.

We gon' die. The basketball schedule was released yesterday and holy lord it's the polar opposite of last year's trip through Candyland. Nonconference:

Fri., Nov. 9	Radford	Ann Arbor	TBA	TBA^
Sun., Nov. 11	Brown	Ann Arbor	TBA	TBA^
Thu., Nov. 15	Georgetown	Washington, D.C.	TBA	TBA^
Nov. 21-24	Great Alaska Shootout	Anchorage, Alaska	TBA	TBA^
BIG TEN/ACC CHALLENGE
Wed., Nov. 28	Boston College	Ann Arbor	7:00 p.m.	ESPNU
Sat., Dec. 1	Harvard	Boston, Mass.	TBA	TBA^
Sat., Dec. 8	Duke	Durham, N.C.	TBA	TBA^
Wed., Dec. 12	Oakland	Ann Arbor	TBA	TBA^
Sat., Dec. 15	Central Michigan	Ann Arbor	TBA	TBA^
Sat., Dec. 22	UCLA	Ann Arbor	TBA	TBA^

Georgetown, UCLA, Duke, Boston College, and a variable Great Alaska Shootout that could feature another two or three good teams, plus two games against the likes of The Ladybug School For Lads have been replaced with Big Ten conference games. Welcome to Michigan, John Beilein.

Ha. Shawn Crable on his fateful helmet-to-helmet hit:

"I looked at it right after the game. I knew what happened, me, personally," said Crable, an Ohio native. "I never understood that. All year, (Smith) takes off running; that's like Michael Vick taking off running. Then he gets 10 yards down the field, he gets hit like he's a running back and then, all of a sudden, you say you can't hit him in the helmet. Why can't you?

"I hit him like he's running with the ball. I understand if he's standing in the pocket and I came and blindsided him and tried helmet-to-helmet. If he leaves the pocket, he turns himself into a runner. Why do I have to treat him any different than I treat a running back?

"In a similar position, I'm going to have to do the same thing again. It's different. I'm 6-6, and he's like 5-7, so it's hard for you to tell me I've got to go lower to hit him."

Crable has a point, especially when the week after a UCLA defender leveled John David Booty in the exact same fashion, wasn't flagged, and got a weeks' worth of praise for it. I'm going to stop thinking about this before smoke starts coming out of my ears.

Etc.: UFR spreads; good luck in your endeavor. Ron English talks. This is not relevant at all -- SEC teams as Arrested Development -- but as "College Football Teams as TV Shows/Cars/Hot Sauce Varieties/Plastic Molecules" posts go it's by far the most detailed and well thought out I've seen.