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Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Introducing the Fraud Squad.

I will take this opportunity to force BlogPoll voters to look deep into the sausagey bowels of some of the teams they're voting for.


UCLALSUTexas TechAuburnRutgersCal
Best Win
OklahomaFlorida
Texas A&M
South Carolina
Pitt or UConn
Arizona
Worst LossArizonaTennesseeTexasGeorgia Tech
Illinois!Oregon State
Functional DNPs
5
46
64-ish
6
non-FDNP Record
3-13-12-11-22-30-3
Cheap ShotTransitive property of college football indicates that UC-Davis would pwn you.
Wins over ASU, Auburn were total flukes.
Made Michigan's mobile quarterback defense look sweet.
Uh, you suck and stuff.
ILLI- FREAKIN' -NOISQuarterback's name spelled backward is "HELP ME I CANNOT THROW-YA"
Advice
12-ish or worse.
11-12.
#22 with a bullet.
Squeak them in at the bottom.
Omit with ferocity.
Omit until they beat a non-shortbus riding team.

I have bitchslapped the above teams in my ballot. I recommend you do the same.

RankTeamSnark
1
TexasWhy #1? To me USC and Texas are equal, so I will vote with the minority.
2Southern CalNo offense.
3
Penn StateDefense wins championships, but I also like it when the defense comes with an offense.
4
Georgia
DNP.
5
Miami
Overtaken by the spirit of Bo Schembechler on Saturday.
6
Alabama
Score an offensive touchdown.
7
Virginia TechBut I wanted to like you so much.
8
Ohio State
Ugh. Pending 1-4 against Tressell == awful.
9
Notre DameListen to Michael here; this offense is not almighty, and SEC defenses are pretty good. Still, ND has been consistently good. Few teams can say that.
10
OregonMain beneficiary of this carnage below.
11
LSURunning out of snark!
12
UCLA
Finally got what was coming to them.
13
WisconsinA better team than they showed against PSU. Tamba Hali was a terrible matchup problem and PSU defense is one of the best in the country.
14
FloridaYeah, well, Vandy... I dunno. Weird day for the middle of the poll.
15
Florida StateNo QB problem rears up again. Was fortunate to beat Miami.
16
Georgia Tech
Put up or shut up coming soon.
17
Fresno State
Please beat USC. It would be sweet.
18
West Virginia
I guess.
19
Michigan
DNP.
20
Texas TechHas proven it can annihilate terrible pass defenses.
21
AuburnStill haven't played anyone.
22
MinnesotaMmmm, yards.
23
TCUStill suspicious of that SMU loss.
24
ColoradoBut meeem I wanted to vote for Spurrier.
25
NorthwesternBig Ten bias? Who else down here has beaten an 8-2 BCS team?

Dropped Out: BC(#13)

Games I Saw: VT-Miami, UW-PSU, Alabama-Miss State, ND-UT)

Help Requested: #11-16 are drawn out of a hat mostly.

Update: Sadly, had to excise South Carolina in favor of Colorado. If you're wondering about 'Bama, my "defense wins championships" statement was an ironic one. If Alabama manages to defensive touchdown its way through the SEC undefeated they'll be #3; as long as there's some projection aspect, though, I project that a couple field goals will not be sufficient to beat all comers.

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