| Rank | Team | Snark |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Texas | Goddamn, son. |
| 2 | Southern Cal | Er, you too. |
| 3 | Penn State | DNP. |
| 4 | Ohio State | DNP. |
| 5 | Georgia | I realize the ordering of the following two teams is mindbending, but UGA has the better resume, in my opinion, despite the (very, very narrow) head to head loss. |
| 6 | Auburn | ...and besides, there aren't any AU bloggers to suck up to. |
| 7 | Notre Dame | Mmmm, Waffle House. I've seen both Fiesta teams up close and personal and like neither. I say this: may a meteor impact the stadium at the appointed time. Oh, and OSU wins mucho. |
| 8 | Miami | DNP. |
| 9 | Oregon | DNP. |
| 10 | Virginia Tech | Is VT getting a rep as the Mr. October of college football? |
| 11 | LSU | Ah, hell. |
| 12 | Alabama | DNP. |
| 13 | West Virginia | DNP |
| 14 | Wisconsin | DNP. |
| 15 | Florida | I had the Gators #22... way too low. |
| 16 | TCU | DNP. |
| 17 | Texas Tech | DNP. |
| 18 | Michigan | DNP. |
| 19 | Iowa | DNP. |
| 20 | Georgia Tech | DNP. |
| 21 | Florida State | You, ah, no make the sense. Bet you wish you were in the old ACC... |
| 22 | Boston College | DNP. |
| 23 | UCLA | ... but the Pac-10 is the new ACC: one really good team and a bunch of useless lumps that facilitate the really good team's run of dominance. |
| 24 | South Carolina | DNP. |
| 25 | Northwestern | DNP. |
Games I Saw: enough of UT-CU, enough of USC-UCLA, enough of UGA-LSU.
Dropped Out: #23 Fresno State.
Help requested: Any and all pleas welcome in the limited time I provided for feedback.
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