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Friday, February 03, 2006

Ut oh. This is probably my fault. At no point in discussing the much, er, discussed Ron English-to-DC and Jim Herrmann-to-wherever-isn't-here thing did I say "no whammies." Whammies:

Moving quickly to address the biggest coaching vacancy on his staff, Bears coach Lovie Smith offered University of Michigan secondary coach Ron English the job of defensive backs coach Thursday.

English is expected to accept the offer.
This, of course, has turned the Michigan message boards into radioactive waste. Funny: a year ago everyone was wondering what the big deal about this English guy was. A year of half-competent safety play and way, way too conservative playcalling (not English's fault) and the idea of losing him to the NFL is the cause of more garment-rending than any position coach departure I can remember... ever.

All the rending probably has little to do with English and a lot to do with where that leaves Michigan without him. More specifically, where that leaves Jim Herrmann: at DC. If English ends up in the NFL and the mustachioed crotch-grabber returns to watch his linebackers flail helplessly at passing running backs, I suggest you buy stock in Ann Arbor Torch & Pitchfork Co.

Ever wonder why the College Football Hall of Fame is in South Bend? Is it the rich tradition of the Irish? Er... no:
When the Hall of Fame moved to South Bend in 1995, then-mayor Joe Kernan said it would cost taxpayers nothing. But since its opening, city taxpayers have funneled millions of dollars into the museum's operational expenses, fueling criticism of its presence in South Bend.

The City Council has pushed to slowly decrease city funding to the hall. It cut operational expenses for the first time in the 2005 budget from $829,000 to $629,000. The Council took another chunk from the hall's funding for 2006, bringing it to $600,000.

Zounds! That money could be spent on making South Bend distinguishable from Gary.

Bob Dole. Bob Dole! BOB DOLE! ... is apparently UW's new offensive line coach. In yet another article about recruiting and text messaging, this passage made my day:
[Text messaging is] bad news for coaches like Bob Palcic, the newest hire on Bielema's first staff. Palcic, who was hired Monday to coach the Badgers' offensive line, said he barely knows how to use a cell phone, much less text messaging.

"If they do eliminate text messaging, that will be a positive for Bob Palcic," he said, "because I'm still just a guy who likes to talk to people on the telephone."
Bob Palcic's teaching the offensive linemen. Bob Palcic's going to the store. Bob Palcic's trying to mash the tiny buttons on a cell phone to tell some punk kid to have a good time tonight. Bob Palcic fought in 'Nam! Bob Palcic has a purple heart... Bob Palcic doesn't need this bullshit!