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Saturday, December 02, 2006

MICHIGANFLORIDA
Coaches
Lloyd Carr, an eloquent public speaker, tireless defender of his players, and playoff advocateUrban Meyer, a inveterate whiner who goes purse shopping when not running the local chapters of NAMBLA and the Communist Party. Also points too much.
Loss
Versus Ohio State's death machine in the ninth level of hell (Columbus, for the unititiated) by three points entirely because of rampant cheating and a slip 'n' slide masquerading as a football field.Versus Auburn, a team that can't throw or run or do anything except cheat on tests, really. Auburn, like, lost to Georgia, a team that sucks butt.
Best Win
F*#-ING BEAT DOWN of Notre Dame that ruined them psychologically for the next eighty years.Gifted six turnovers by LSU. Probable 60-point loss if not for completely unforced implosion.
Second Best Win
Comfortable win over wonderful, tested 11-1 Wisconsin team.Referee-aided win over I-AA Western Carolina.
Common Opponent
Outgained Vanderbilt by 200 yards and won by 20.Outgained BY Vanderbilt, lucked out 6 point win.
Miracles Received
N/A.Six hundred blocked kicks versus South Carolina. Reggie Fish's decision to field a punt at his own five over his shoulder.
General Impression Left By Play
Daaaaaamn.Lolly lolly I want a lolly.
Sided With Who During Civil War?
UnionConfederates

QED, MFER

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