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Thursday, June 23, 2005

Just received this from a friend.

Something you should know about this man: he is getting a Ph.D. at NYU in literature. Just in case bits of Danny Crawford are found spread across a ten-state area, know that it was not necessarily my doing.

Indeed, Kit. Indeed. The Game. This is The Game. The Pistons have been here before, digging themselves out of a 3-1 hole against Tracy McGrady, a 3-2 hole against Jason Kidd, and a 3-2 hole against Shaq and Dwayne Wayne. If this country is ever attacked by robot Nazi KKK members, Billups, Sheed, Ben, Rip, and Tayshaun will rise up at the last moment and say "No. This country is not being taken over by the robot Nazi KKK. Not while we totally kick ass." Then they will beat the robot Nazi KKK on their home floor, Space Jam-style. Billups will be MVP.

I was going to type about how a win tonight would finally shut up all the doubters, but it probably wouldn't and, more importantly, I don't really care. I have begun to relish people complaining about the Pistons in general and this Finals in particular. I enjoy the prospect of others not enjoying these games. Because I am having a goddamn great time, and if you aren't, that's because you are a whiny idiot who thinks that a basketball game having 15% fewer baskets makes it a tragedy. Myself, the Pistons, and the entire city of Detroit would like to join in extending you a giant middle finger. We don't care what you think about our basketball team. We don't care what you think about our city. When the next Ice Age shows up, you'll all die. We'll go ice fishing.

And it's great that you and your hack writers think that our team sucks and our city sucks, but seriously... when you look like this:

what is the point of living in Miami? Are the hookers better looking? Do they overlook the copious hair seeping out of every available orifice and pore? Do they ignore the fact that all your attempts at humor work about as well as Dwayne Wayne's ribs?

It's the Pistons tonight. They're playing Team Mexico. Eat it.

Update: Rasheed on Game 7: "We just gotta play. It's not a do-or-die situation. We just gotta hoop."