| Rank | Team | Snark |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Texas | Kansas was supposed to have a good defense. |
| 2 | Southern Cal | Thought about putting Notre Dame here, but no. |
| 3 | Penn State | Gameday in EL? MFer! |
| 4 | Miami | Er. |
| 5 | LSU | Forced to respect them now. |
| 6 | Virginia Tech | Yay. |
| 7 | Alabama | ITYS. |
| 8 | Ohio State | What they did to a very good Northwestern offense bodes unwell. Jury still out on the offense: the last five opponents have been flailing retards on defense. |
| 9 | Notre Dame | Another year, another week of Notre Dame fans waxing eloquent about Navy and how they're doing the Middies a big favor by playing them every year. The mighty sacrifices of winning for 40 straight years. |
| 10 | Oregon | Main beneficiary of this carnage below. |
| 11 | Auburn | Georgia con Shock does count as anyone, though they squeaked by. |
| 12 | Georgia | Let 'em score. |
| 13 | UCLA | Finally got what was coming to them. |
| 14 | Fresno State | Playing Oregon toe-to-toe continues to look better. |
| 15 | West Virginia | I guess. |
| 16 | Michigan | Functional DNP vs Indiana. |
| 17 | Wisconsin | No, this sequence doesn't make sense... |
| 18 | Minnesota | ...but what does in the Big Ten? |
| 19 | South Carolina | Goddamn. I commend Orson for retaining his sanity in the aftermath of the OBC's suddenly scorching hot jilted girlfriend routine. |
| 20 | Florida | Yeah, well, Vandy... I dunno. Weird day for the middle of the poll. |
| 21 | Florida State | No QB problem rears up again. Was fortunate to beat Miami. |
| 22 | TCU | Hard for me to take them more seriously. |
| 23 | Oklahoma | Picked itself up off the mat. |
| 24 | Toledo | Yes, I'm out of teams. |
| 25 | Boston College | And... scene. |
Dropped Out: Texas Tech(#20), Northwestern(#25), Colorado(#22)... etc.
Games I Saw: Michigan-IU, 'Bama-LSU, Auburn-UGA, bits of USC-Cal.
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