That Joke Isn't Funny Anymore

Okay, okay, I realize that not even a day after posting that I won't make references to music groups that stopped being relevant in 1987 I make a reference to a music group that stopped being relevant in precisely 1987. The Smiths don't count.

2/9/2006 - Michigan 85-94 Ohio State - 16-5, 6-4 Big Ten

You could file any number of events from last night into the folder labeled "Akin To Joe Theismann's Horrific Leg-Breaking"--gruesome things that are repeated ad nauseum despite no one wanting to see that particular atrocity again. To wit:

• Another team launching bad three after bad three and seeing them ALL GO IN.
• Another loss to Ohio State--only a fortunate opening four minutes of the latest hockey game's third period prevented a wholesale season sweep (to date, anyway) at the hands of OSU.
• Another Michigan player collapsed, clutching at an ankle suddenly more foe than friend.
• Another season of wilted promise.

Are you there, God? It's me, Michigan basketball. We're wondering when our training bra is going to fill out and our program will return to its buxom ways of years past--without the sin sin sin(!!!), of course. It would help if you ceased smiting us. Sure, the plague of broken safeties was a good one. But I think we're all in agreement here on Earth that maybe your time would be better spent making stuff like world peace or a Norm MacDonald late night talk show happen.*

Right, right, ineffable plan and all that, and I want to make it very clear that no one here is questioning the plan. It's a great plan. It's maybe the best plan I've ever seen. It's just... if I had to choose between the plan and not clawing my eyes out, I'd have to choose the not clawing my eyes out.

*(Eh! It's the Norm show! Our guest tonight are... eh... get me a drink. I've got this cake here. It's my girlfriend. Yeah, my girlfriend. I f***ed last night.)

Bullets of Depression

• How different does this season look if Iowa and OSU don't shoot totally impossible percentages from three? Reduce Iowa and OSU's three point percentages to a damn-good 40% and Michigan drops one narrowly in Carver-Hawkeye and wins going away against the Buckeyes. Is this a reflection of poor perimeter defense? Perhaps in some way, but against OSU the Buckeyes just shot a bevy of terrible threes; all of them went in.
• Michigan was outstanding offensively. Sims destroyed everything. Harris, Coleman, and Horton played well, though Horton's shot was off.
• I don't see how you can blame Amaker for opponents shooting 70% from three or his best players getting injured consistently, but the problem is that this team is going to start going backwards next year. Two posts graduate and DeShawn Sims, who is 6'7", is the nearest thing to a replacement. Petway and Sims will be seniors in '06-'07, and then there will be nothing. Jerrett Smith is going to have to transition from being a meh backup point guard to the full time starter. Amaker's recruited two types of players: guys who would come to Michigan even if Hitler was coach and guys no one else wanted.