Hhhhhhyyyyaarrrrr. 'Tis the Captain of the SS Cheatypants Sweatervest and 'tis a fine leader indeed. But be keepin' yer greased mitts out of any unauthorized treasure chests, if you get my drift, lest the Dread Myles Brand send ye to Davy Jones' locker!
Dwayne Jarrett, USC
Hyyyarrr? Run up the mizzenmast! Set the sails! Rig the jibs!
3. Lamarr Woodley, Michigan
Hhhhhyaarrrr! Landed ye old death blow to the "fighting" Irish when he retrieved an unclaimed piece-of-eight and found the spot marked "X". X for touchdown. HHHHHHYYYARRRR!
4. Steve Slaton, West Virginia
...is a fast landlubber, let me tell you.
5. Dan Bazuin, Central Michigan
I don't know what to do with this guy. He had the most dominating day I've seen from a defensive end in a very long time, but it's often hard to judge a defensive end's impact without watching them, and it's doubtful I see another Central Michigan game the rest of the year. He had a TFL versus Akron. Hhhhyyarrr, McBain!
Sorry, that was lame. I'm trying to get UFR up sometime today.