Unverified Voracity Knits

Cartoon by Joel A Morgan.

Presented without comment.



Well, this will just increase the factor of crushingness. Mario Manningham?

Even though many have assumed Manningham will turn pro, he insisted that isn't true.

"I'm going back," he said. "I want to get my degree."

When a reporter told the receiver he seemed to be joking, Manningham didn't back down.

"I'm being for real," Manningham said.

Probably just afterglow; the deadline to declare is the 15th. We'll have to keep fingers crossed about not only Manningham, but Arrington, Taylor, and Jamison. From a Carty article:

Junior wide receiver Adrian Arrington said he would talk to Rodriguez this week about how he'd fit in next year's offense before deciding whether to opt for early entry to the NFL Draft. Arrington said the decision was currently 50-50. Juniors Mario Manningham and Terrance Taylor refused to discuss whether they'd return to Michigan or turn pro after the game.

If this Mallett transfer comes to fruition, I would assume Arrington would take that as a sign to leave. Manningham and Taylor's silence indicates that they're giving the NFL serious consideration at the very least.

Trent is staying according to the first article, not that he was regarded a major threat to leave.

Right, about that: Mallett's mom doesn't know anything.

“No decision has been made,” Debbie Mallett said Thursday night of her son, the freshman quarterback — currently — at Michigan.

“Everybody thinks they know what Ryan’s doing. But Ryan has not made a decision yet. All these sources? They never came from anyone here.”

Classes started yesterday but I believe Mallett can transfer whenever he wants since the season's over. Until we get something definitive from him, it'll be a festival of speculation.

Elsewhere in the attrition beat. The Free Press listed guys returning, leaving, early (er) entering, and possibly transferring, dumping Mallett, David Cone, and Jason Kates in the latter category without even the vaguest hint of an explanation. We all know the score with Mallett. Kates missed some bowl practices; I've heard the reason was a relatively minor violation of team rules but if this was pattern behavior it could have been the last straw. Cone... well, he wasn't going to play before unless a meteor hit -- he was behind a walk-on this year -- and certainly isn't going to now; perhaps Rodriguez is encouraging him to find a place he can play. I have also heard that Rodriguez is scouring JUCOs for QBs in anticipation of a rough depth chart next year; it will be interesting to see the results of that.

Take heart. Take heart, Matt Zemek and that guy who wrote about Michigan's win being for "smashmouth" and "three yards and a cloud of dust" in the aftermath of a career day for Chad Henne: as long as Fox Sports is paying Jay Mohr to put crayon to paper, you are not the worst sportswriters on the planet. Mohr on Carr's retirement:

I am still trying to wrap my head around the Lloyd Carr "retirement." After five Big Ten titles and a national championship, out you go. I am a big believer in "what have you done for me lately," but the guy did have a 75 percent winning percentage. That seems like a lot of "doing for you lately."

But unfortunately, Lloyd couldn't consistently beat THE Ohio State University. His record was 6-7 against the Buckeyes, and that may have been what did him in. Never mind his winning records against Notre Dame, Michigan State and Penn State. If you don't consistently beat your archrival in college football, you lose your job. ...

Good luck Rich, and don't say I didn't warn you that you won't last long in Ann Arbor. Lloyd Carr had to coach in Bo Schembechler's shadow. It may be harder to coach in Lloyd Carr's shadow. A 75 percent winning percentage throws a lot of shade.

Jay Mohr pays less attention to college sports than I pay to Jay Mohr, or he would have known that Carr was expected to retire voluntarily even before the season started. And yet he still gets to write this thing. So I'm going to write this thing about Jay Mohr.

JAY MOHR: PEDERAST OR AL-QAEDA MEMBER?

By Walter Cronkite
LOS ANGELES (AP) -- Hey... remember when Jay Mohr had that comedy reality TV show and only his buddies got on and he introduced us all to that really fat guy from Oklahoma who isn't even funny in that "hey, he's really fat!" sort of way that even the most talentless hacks can pull off? Yeah. I saw that guy on Celebrity Fit Club. He's been loosed into the realms of C-level celebrity reality shows. He'll be on VH1 for the next 20 years. And this is all Jay Mohr's fault. Obviously Jay Mohr is either a sex offender who's only attracted to baby fat or in Al-Qaeda.

Jay Mohr: you ruined America.

Hidden advantage? Bill Stewart's hiring at WVU is probably not good news for Mountaineer fans -- hello Bobby Williams -- but might have some beneficial effects for Michigan fans. One: Central Michigan head coach Butch Jones, a former Rodriguez assistant, won't be the next WVU HC. The two might be able to link up at camps and stuff and help each other with instate recruiting. Two: if you were a little leery of Rodriguez displaying maximum croni-style by bringing his entire staff to UM, Stewart will likely hold on to a number of WVU assistants. The WVU Rivals site is already reporting that DL coach Bill Kirelawich will stay with the Mountaineers, presumably opening up a spot for Steve Stripling. WR coach Tony Dews might stay, too, which might open up a spot for Soup Campbell.

The downside is that he might pick off someone Michigan should really want. One of the three, OC Calvin Magee, is already committed to Rodriguez, but S&C guru Mike Barwis and DC Jeff Casteel (who I've really come around on after doing the research that went into Tuesday's "Yay 3-3-5" post and Wednesday's Fiesta performance against one of the nation's best offenses) could be convinced to stay. Casteel in the aforementioned Rivals article:

"Hey, as a coach, what would be a better place to be," he said. "I mean, I've coached in the Sugar Bowl (victory over Georgia in 2006) and the Fiesta Bowl. This is pretty good," said the architect of the most consistent portion of the 2007-08 11-2 team.

("Most consistent"... woo unbiased reportybits!) That's not committal, and since WVU is paying Stewart beans -- one of the benefits of making a dumb hire -- they might have the funds to hold onto a coordinator.

FYI. From Winged Helmet:

Here are WVU's recruiting rankings for the last 5 years and Oklahoma's

WV 46, 47, 31, 52, 23

OK 4, 8, 3, 9, 14

I hope they're playing "Scrabulous." A reader forwards this little earthquake on his Facebook newsfeed:

For those uninclined to squint, Terrelle Pryor and Sam McGuffie are now friends. Aww.

Etc: I don't think I buy this; must be photoshopped; McGuffie flips over stuff; Rosenberg on Carr; McGuffie article w/ quote from yours truly; Stadium & Main recaps the win.