mgoblog

Monday, May 30, 2005

Minnesota Preview 2005: Take The Over

The Story
Over Glen Mason's nine years in Minneapolis he has lifted the Gophers from laughingstock to respectability, but hasn't managed to get Minnesota over the hump and seriously threaten for the Big Ten title.

Many will tell you this is due to some sort of Spartanesque post-Michigan collapse. After all, over the past three years Minnesota is 18-2 before playing the Wolverines and 7-7 after. Unfortunately for lazy broadcasters, this disparity is the frontrunner for phoniest stat of the 2005 season. Most of those 18 victories have come against Minnesota's perennial slate of nonconference loozer schools. Minnesota's Big Ten wins over that timespan came over Northwestern (three times), Penn State (twice), and Illinois (once). Any slightly-above-average team would have had the same record before and after Michigan, because the teams that came before Michigan were bad and the teams that came after were not.

The truth is that Minnesota's failures have nothing whatsoever to do with some sort of mental malaise that sets in after yet another heartbreaking loss to the perpetual Brown Jug holders and everything to do with the fact that Mason has only put together half a team. Minnesota's offense has been a running juggernaut the envy of every old-school six-yards-and-a-cloud-of-dust Big Ten traditionalist but their defense has been horrible, terrible, unwatchable, repulsive... pick up a thesaurus, start at "sucktastic," and point. You'll find something that's probably a little too nice.

This does not look to change this year. Other than a couple of solid players at defensive tackle the defense has almost nothing in the way of proven talent. It's possible that they could turn into a respectable unit, but it's possible in the same sense that Barry Sanders will suit up for the Lions again. The good news is if the Gophers' run game can adjust to not having a back with a roman numeral after his name, it will be lights out again. Laurence Maroney is a legitimate Heisman candidate and the fierce, experienced, and mobile line in front of him--led by Rimington favorite Greg Eslinger--should pave the way for a monster year.

So, more of the same? Perhaps. Minnesota has an X-factor this year in the form of 6'5" wide receiver Ernest Wheelwright, who has all the physical tools you could possibly imagine and a nasty habit of dropping extremely important catches. If he can morph from a deep threat into an everywhere threat and catch what he gets his hands on, Minnesota's offense could overcome their defense.

Unit by Unit
Quarterback
Rating: 3. Brian Cupito's role in his first year as a starter was mostly to hand it off to Marion Barber and Laurence Maroney. Occasionally he would be called upon to toss a bomb downfield or hit tight end Matt Spaeth on play action, which he did well enough despite statistical appearances to the contrary--a 47% completion percentage. That's an ugly number, but it isn't nearly as bad as it looks, since he led the Big Ten in yards per attempt with 8.0. He demolished the competition by averaging 17.1 yards per completion. He did this with a receiving corps that dropped a large number of catchable balls, too (more on that later). Cupito's first year as a starter was actually a rather good one.

Cupito has yet to show that he can be an accurate passer on the outs, digs, and slants that most teams use as the basis of their passing game, but that isn't his fault. He hasn't been given much of an opportunity to do so. Mason deliberately kept him away from danger to prevent interceptions. The caution worked, as Cupito threw 14 touchdowns to only 7 interceptions. The cost, though, was more predictability than a truly great offense can afford to have. Mason will open up the playbook a little more this year. Cupito will have to show that he's capable of handling it.

Running Back
Rating: 5. Minnesota lost half of its two-headed monster at running back when Marion Barber III declared for the NFL draft but the Gophers return the better half of the duo in the explosive Laurence Maroney. If Maroney, finally the clear-cut starter, maintains his spectacular 6.2 yards-per-carry average and leads Minnesota into a race for the Big Ten title he will be a legitimate Heisman candidate. He will certainly have the horses in front of him to do so. mgoblog predicts Maroney cracks 2,000 yards this year and gets to New York.

Backups Gary Russell and Amir Pinnix both showed well in the spring game and will get their share of time spelling Maroney. The Gophers are excited about both young backs' potential and given the line they'll have in front of them, an injury to Maroney would be harmful but not devastating.

Wide Receivers & Tight Ends
Rating: 4.Though Minnesota returns senior Jared Ellerson, its leading receiver from last year, this position is the Ernest Wheelwright show. Wheelwright is a 6'5" monster with deep speed and the ever-coveted big play capability. He burst on to the scene as a freshman, averaging 21.8 yards a catch and making several spectacular downfield plays. It wasn't all strawberries and cream, however, as Wheelwright dropped a number of catchable balls over the course of the year, including one that would have put Michigan away for good.

Ellerson's good, but Wheelwright has the potential to make defenses choose between leaving Maroney up against a seven-man front or chancing Wheelwright loping downfield, diminutive cornerback in tow. Neither of those is appealing in the slightest--if Wheelwright makes the Sports-Guy-Approved "Leap."

Tight end Matt Spaeth is 6'6", 270 and plays like an offensive lineman with soft hands. He's excellent blocking for Maroney and when he finds himself open will come down with the ball but isn't overly athletic for a tight end and sometimes has trouble getting open. Another good year and he will start getting All Big Ten consideration.

Offensive Line
Rating: 5. The Gopher line has been paving the way for Maroney and company for a few years now. Center Greg Eslinger has been an All-American almost from the moment he set foot on the not-so-hallowed turf of the Hubert H. Humphery Metrodome. Left guard Mark Setterstrom and left tackle Joe Ainsile aren't far behind.

The right side of the line is less proven. Mike Nicholson, the projected starter at right guard, is a senior with eight starts over the past two years. The right tackle is sophomore Tony Brinkhaus, who is entering his first season seeing serious playing time.

Ultimately, though, the performance of the right side of the line will determine whether Minnesota has a great offensive line or merely a very, very good one. No team in the league can match the 1-2-3 combo of Eslinger, Setterstrom, and Ainsile, and Brinkhaus seems ready to fill in capably at the RT position. There's a reason Minnesota's been rolling backs off the assembly line like the Denver Broncos over the past few years, and it rests entirely on these players.

Defensive Line
Rating: 2. DT Anthony Montgomery is a legitimate anchor in the middle and Mark Losli is a decent running mate for him. The Gophers were okay against the run last year despite having a weak set of linebackers largely because of the two defensive tackles holding their ground so well. I say "okay" instead of "good" because even though Minnesota finished 36th in the country in terms of raw yardage, that ranking was inflated by Minnesota's non-conference schedule and awful pass defense. When Big Ten teams tried to rush against Minnesota, they averaged 3.8 yards a carry--that placed Minnesota 7th in the conference. Montgomery and Losli are solid, but they aren't the kind of guys who are going to blow up many plays by themselves (13.5 tackles for loss between them last year). If the run defense is going to improve, it'll be more on the shoulders of the linebackers than the defensive tackles.

The defensive ends will be a major problem area. Last year 230 pound linebacker Mario Reese drew six starts opposite Darrell Reid, the line's only consistent pass rusher (7.5 sacks). Reid has graduated; redshirt junior Eric Clark--the man splitting starts with Reese last year--is slated to step into Reid's shoes, but how productive can he be? Clark's two sacks last year came against Illinois and Illinois State. Against good opponents he did very little. The other starting end will probably be fifth-year senior Keith Lipka, who has been so anonymous thus far in his collegiate career that Minnesota's 2005 season prospectus doesn't even mention him.

Linebackers
Rating: 2. This position group is a mess of moved players, inexperience, and questionable athleticism. The only returning starter, Kyle McKenzie, has been shifted from middle linebacker to the outside. The new man in the middle is walk-on Mike Sherels, who has very little experience. The same can be said for strongside linebacker John Shevlin. Minnesota fans will be relying on addition by subtraction here, hoping that the shuffling (new strong safety Brandon Owens, a linebacker last year, is a part of it) is a sign of the defensive coaches finding the correct places for these players instead of the alternative, blind panic.

Perhaps one of the three will emerge as a steady contributor who can occasionally make a big play, but asking it of all three is a significant stretch. Minnesota's going to be going into the season hoping to answer a lot of questions here, but it's doubtful this unit will be anything special.

Defensive Backs
Rating: 1. Minnesota's pass-yardage defense was one of the worst in the country, giving up 266 yards a game enroute to finishing 109th in Division I-A. On the surface the pass efficiency numbers aren't quite as grim--Minnesota ended up 67th--but a deeper look shows that Minnesota's opponents included some of the most aerially inept teams to be found: Wisconsin(99th in passing efficiency), Northwestern(95th), Penn State(110th), Illinois(82nd), and Illinois State(85th... in I-AA!). Gopher fans should take little solace in the passing efficiency numbers.

One of these years Minnesota will put together a decent secondary, but this one doesn't look like it, especially given that the line is devoid of pass rushers. Redshirt junior Trumaine Banks has started the past two years and steps into the departed Ukee Dozier's shoes at Minnesota's closest thing to a #1 corner. Banks was targeted early and often by opposing quarterbacks last year and made a fair share of plays (9 PBUs and two interceptions) but more often than not was beaten for completions. Sophomore Jamal Harris appears to be the leading candidate to start at the other cornerback spot.

John Pawielski returns at free safety while Brandon Owens returns to strong safety after playing linebacker a year ago. Pawielski is limited athletically and it remains to be seen whether Owens has the range to be a safety. They'll both rack up a lot of tackles but unfortunately for Minnesota, they'll usually be eight to ten yards downfield.

Return Game
Rating: 2.Maroney split time at KR with Barber last year and Mason has shown that he's willing to risk his best players on returns if he believes them to be the best available. That may change now that the Gophers are relying heavily on Maroney as the number one running back, but frankly it doesn't appear to matter much. Despite deploying Barber and Maroney last year, Minnesota finished 89th in punt returns and 91st in kick returns.

Either it's problems with the blocking schemes or Barber just wasn't much of a returner (he returned all but one punt and more kicks than anyone else), but Minnesota didn't get any big plays out of the return game all year.

Kickers
Rating: N/A. The departed Rhys Lloyd handled both the kicking and punting duties last year, and several redshirt freshmen are battling for one spot or the other. It's mgoblog policy not to wildly speculate on kickers, who you just don't know about until they step on the field.

Schedule
Minnesota starts off with a couple of cupcakes in Tulsa (though that game, bizarrely, is at Tulsa) and Florida Atlantic but sandwiched between them is a Colorado State team that is usually half decent. Minnesota handled the Rams last year and will probably do so again this year but there's at least a chance that one will be competitive.

Minnesota got the short end of the stick this year in the Big Ten , missing Northwestern and Illinois. While the Boilermakers are laughing and preparing their New Year's Day bowl plans, Minnesota faces a Bataan deathmarch of a Big Ten Schedule with only Indiana and possibly Wisconsin looking like breathers, and Minnesota lost to both of those teams last year. The Gophers must travel to Michigan and Iowa, though they do get Ohio State at home.

Keys to the Season
Find a pass rush. It doesn't matter if it comes from blitzing three guys every play. As noted, Minnesota's defense will probably be very bad, and the best way for a bad defense to get off the field is by making a big play and forcing the opponent into a situation where he only has one option. A highly aggressive Minnesota defense might give up some big plays, but if they lay back there's a good chance the opponent will march down the field anyway. Minnesota should rely on the offense to cover up mistakes and pin those cute Gopher ears back.

Diversify the passing game. Minnesota's offense is going to be good, but if the Gophers find themselves in a game where Maroney is getting stuffed, they won't be able to sustain drives by tossing it 30 yards downfield. Cupito needs to read coverages and make throws ten or fifteen yards downfield to make the Gopher offense capable of putting up points against great defenses.

Find some kickers. Minnesota is going to need all the points they can get this year and at least one game will hinge on the leg an as-yet-undetermined redshirt freshman. It would be good if he was, uh, good.

Expectations
Worst Case: Cupito doesn't improve much. Neither does the defense. Minnesota still detonates against teams with flimsy defenses but can't hang with teams that feature one good unit and one decent one and ends up going 3-5 in the Big Ten to finish 6-5.

Best Case: Cupito's second year as a starter is marked by increased consistency and Mason lets him throw over the middle more, which he is surprisingly effective at. Wheelwright sheds his case of the dropsies and becomes a combination of Mike Williams and Braylon Edwards. The Gopher offense goes nuclear, but the defense still manages to blow a couple games. Minnesota finally beats Michigan and rides into the Citrus Bowl, praying that Maroney returns for a senior year and a Rose Bowl run.

mgoblog says... Swap Minnesota's and Purdue's schedules and I'd be slotting the Gophers in a BCS bowl, but both Michigan and Ohio State look capable of throttling the Gopher run game and scoring enough points on the other side of the ball to beat them. Against Michigan the Gophers had one 80 yard touchdown run by Maroney--and 109 yards the other 38 times they tried to run. That was largely because of Gabe Watson and Lamar Woodley, both of whom return for Michigan. Minnesota didn't play Ohio State last year but the card says that anyone attempting to run against the Buckeyes this year will be going uphill.

The Iowa, Michigan State, and Purdue games will be dogfights. Their outcomes will depend largely on the effectiveness of the Cupito-Wheelwright connection and how much the defense improves, if at all. I think Cupito and Wheelwright will both take big leaps forward this year but the defense will not. That should still be enough to make it to 5-3 in the Big Ten. mgoblog predicts that Minnesota beats MSU and one of Iowa, Purdue, or Ohio State but loses to Michigan and the other two BCS threats. 8-3(5-3), 4th Big Ten.

[+/-]

BlogPoll Central

Sunday, May 29, 2005

[+/-]

Football: Germany precedent

Saturday, May 28, 2005

[+/-]

More softball, Marlin sued, etc.

Friday, May 27, 2005

[+/-]

Basketball: New assistant hired

[+/-]

Football: Recruiting board updated

Thursday, May 26, 2005

[+/-]

mgoblog's shameless bid for attention

[+/-]

mgoblog's recruiting philosophy

My name is Brian, and I follow recruiting. I realize that this is on some level a disease. I am at the beck and call of athletic 17-year-olds who may or may not choose to attend the same school I did in the rapidly receding past and play a fundamentally meaningless game. I do this because it is just that important to me that Ohio State is defeated and slinks back to their system of prehistoric ape-caves they dare to call a "state" with its collective tail between its collective legs.

You're either with me on that point or not. If you aren't, I commend you on your sense of perspective and lack of obsessive, addictive tendencies. You are probably bad in bed. You lack passion for everything except a well-peeled carrot. You are free to go.

But if you're like me--the kind of person who would seriously consider offering your first-born child to a mysterious hobgoblin in exchange for twenty straight victories over the Buckeyes and wouldn't think twice if it was fifty--this kind of stuff does matter. Why? Well, it's something to do. Life is basically a series of things to do of varying desirability and far be it from me to judge your decision to watch reality TV compulsively, so don't get all huffy about my attention to the minute details of the activities of young sweaty muscular men. NTTAWWT. I'm the kind of person who reads mock drafts with interest and likes playing pretend GM in fantasy leagues and simulation games. There was little chance I could avoid this fate.

I do acknowledge that the recruiting thing is sort of a character flaw. I have many character flaws, though, and this one is much less critical than "hates most things" and "sees children as bargaining chips for deals with paranormal creatures that do not, in fact, exist." That said, I believe there is a right way to pursue this slightly shady activity and a wrong way. And because I am in need of words to put on the Interweb, I share these things:

Etiquette

1. DON'T PANIC
Always a good one, and it goes triple for recruiting. There is a significant difference between a player like five-star Justin King and three-star Johnny Sears, but it is not so drastic that failing to acquire King should be a cause for anything more than a shrug and a "that's rather unfortunate." PANIC is the root cause of many of the immature, stupid things people post on message boards across the internet.

2. Do not disparage recruits except in extraordinary circumstances.
This goes quadruple for uncommitted recruits--a recent flagrant example on Rivals occurred when someone posted some idiocy about how he doubted Justin Boren's "love for Michigan" because he hadn't committed yet. Boren committed soon after and then expressed his love for Michigan. How do you feel now, anonymous internet moron?

The primary reason not to disparage a recruit is the fact that if you do so, you are a douchebag. You are running down a person you have never met because he is not going to your school or is unlikely to do so. This is a sign of mental illness or extreme immaturity. These players are choosing the direction their life will go in, narrowing down their choices from a bewildering array of schools all rolling out the red carpet and promising a moon or two.

The secondary reason not to disparage a recruit is there's a damn good chance they'll read it. Lord knows I obsessively hunt down references to this blog when they appear on the internet (far, far too infrequently). Any teenager on the planet is going to want to know what people think about him, and if he comes across someone saying something stupid on a message board he's probably going to think less well of that particular school. It won't hurt much--but it won't help.

I said "extraordinary circumstances"... what are extraordinary circumstances? Jerking people around like Jeff Smoker's "University of Michigan... State" announcement, or Marquise Hill directly stating that he was going to LSU all along and was just having some fun with the Michigan coaches. And, of course, anything to do with Willie Williams.

This does not include last minute swerves like Cameron Colvin telling the Michigan coaches he was coming and then committing to Oregon at the last second or Travis Johnson going to bed a Wolverine and waking up a Seminole. There's a reason for the LOI. Going to school is a huge decision and there are going to be some last minute changes of heart. It happens. There must be obviously malicious intent.

Even then, it's best to just let it go. If I was held responsible for all my youthful mistakes my child support payments would be enormous. (Or maybe I just sat in someone's basement playing D&D... you'll never know! Except you probably do. Dammit.)

3. Don't make sweeping generalizations based on one player.
Don't be that guy on the message board saying "recruiting doesn't matter because Kelly Baraka." A sample size of one is not statistically significant. That's akin to saying "you don't want the first pick in the draft because Aundray Bruce sucked." (The reason you don't want the first pick in the draft is because that means your team sucked.) Recruiting rankings are important, and though there are good reasons why they are not all-important, going blah blah blah about how it doesn't matter because of ANECDOTE 1 and ANECDOTE 2 is demonstrably incorrect.

More importantly, it is very annoying.

Filtering information

4. Don't listen to Tom Lemming or Max Emfinger.
Dudes just don't know what's going on and always vastly overrate players in their immediate geographical area (Chicago for Lemming, Louisiana and Texas for Emfinger).

Emfinger hands out ratings extremely early and gives anyone looking like a high-major recruit the full Chad-Ford-on-Darko treatment. Everyone's a phenom if your interest in a "phenom" who's considering your school might slide a couple bucks into Emfinger's hands. Yes, this is true to some extent for everyone involved in the mildly creepy world of recruiting. It's a matter of degree. If Rivals is negligent homicide Emfinger is second degree murder. Rivals articles have their share of rah-rah, but Emfinger radiates the panting sycophancy neatly summed up by the word "stud."

Plus he makes kids wear egomaniacal jerseys that actually say "MAX EMFINGER'S H.S. ALL AMERICANS." And don't get me started on his website, which I suggest you avoid if you are the kind of person who gets seizures from watching the Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers. Emfinger's site will cause you to convulse so violently you'll either die or come out the other side with a bizarre suite of super powers.

Lemming's major sin isn't as severe. His problem is that usually he has no idea what he's talking about. He throws out things that are completely wrong without repercussion. The example that comes most immediately to mind is that last year her claimed that Indiana WR Selwyn Lymon was "leaning to Michigan" when everyone else had him pegged for Purdue. Lymon went... to Purdue. No one ever suggested Michigan was ahead. That wouldn't be bad, except it happens *all the time* with Lemming. Instead of merely saying "I don't know" when he doesn't--which is often--he throws some approximate schools out there that often correlate with how much money he thinks a particular fanbase can throw at him.

He's better than nothing, but if he directly contradicts the conventional wisdom on a recruit, ignore it. He's wrong. Also, he used to deliver mail. He's about as qualified to evaluate high school football talent as I am.

5. Don't regard guru rankings as the be-all and end-all...
The guru ranking process is heavily weighted by the camps a player attends the summer between his junior and senior years. This is understandable, as the gurus have to rank hundreds of kids in a short span of time and don't often get to see top recruits go head-to-head in actual games. It's common for players who either can't afford camps or simply don't want to attend to be neglected by the ranking process. Recruits who commit early are especially likely to have this happen to them, as they aren't likely to go out in an effort to earn more offers and gurus' attention is generally focused on players who have yet to make a decision.

Justin Schifano is an excellent example of this phenomenon. He committed to Michigan at the 38-0 Notre Dame blowout, before he had begun playing his junior year of high school (the commit would become public much later, after the 2004 recruiting class had signed). The other school that was after him heavily at the time was Miami. The gurus ranked him a four star and omitted him from the top 100, even though there couldn't have been more than one or two players at any position that Michigan had offers out for by the time Schifano accepted his. But since he kept a low profile and played a low profile position (guard) he didn't get the hoopla many other recruits did.

I see guru rankings as one of several significant components of the opinion I form about recruits. Other things I look for:

Early offers, especially at positions of relatively little need. If Michigan does not appear to have a tremendous need at a position (for instance, running back or wide receiver this year) and they extend an early offer to a recruit, that's a guy the coaching staff wants badly. That goes double if other major schools are also pursuing heavily.

General visibility of a recruit. Carson Butler sat out his junior year at renaissance after transferring and focused mainly on basketball until his senior year rolled around. He attended no camps and played in the low-profile Public School League in Detroit. He wasn't even rated by Rivals until he committed to Michigan. Butler fits the definition of a sleeper to a tee... the good definition of sleeper. Most people call a low profile recruit their team has acquired a 'sleeper' instead of 'project likely to be sucky' because it's nicer to envision national championships than Motor City Bowls. Butler is a sleeper in the true sense--there was every reason for people to miss the boat on his potential and his upside (-1 point for saying 'upside') is very large. Huge, even. There's more reason to be excited about his potential than that of someone like Rondell Biggs, who didn't labor in anything approaching the obscurity Butler did.

Offer timing. I don't harbor any illusions about offensive lineman Mark Ortmann, who visited, was offered, and committed all in one weekend... immediately after it became clear that Michigan's blue-chip OT targets not named "Zirbel" were all heading to Iowa. Ortmann was a backup plan, and my expectations for him are correspondingly lower than they are for someone like Schifano.

6. ...but don't disregard them entirely, either.
Guru rankings miss players but that does not mean that the ones they rate highly are trash. They aren't a guarantee, but neither are NFL draft picks. Blue-Gray Sky's recent review of 2002's top 50 shows that the gurus are actually pretty good at identifying a select group of players with obvious athletic advantages over the rest. They find it hard to quantify something like Mike Hart's vision, but they're good at picking out the fact that Gabe Watson is able to move around real good for a man of his leviathan proportions.

When comparing guru ratings, I mostly ignore Lemming and Emfinger. Scout and Rivals are where its at because each composite list is the amalgamated opinion of a few dozen sets of eyes, and mgoblog believes in the wisdom of crowds. They're far from perfect but also far from useless. If a player is rated as a five-star, he's significantly more likely to become a useful player than a three star.

7. Be sure to translate recruit speak into normal English.
Recruiting articles contain a large number of quotes from recruits that do not mean what you think they mean. A field guide to the strange sounds that come out of recruits' mouths follows.

"My favorites are Illinois, Northwestern, and Toledo" - I will immediately commit to Michigan or Ohio State if offered.

"The visit was a 10. It was the best visit ever." - The visit occurred and it was either good, bad, or mediocre. I'm not telling.

"I want to play in warm weather." - I will never in a million years forget that sorority at Florida State.

"I'm wide open." - Stop looking me like that, Emfinger.

"I want to play early." - I want to play early.

"Early playing time isn't important to me." - I'm an offensive lineman.

"Academics are extremely important to me" - I don't care about academics in the slightest.

"No, seriously, the academic reputation of a school is critical in my decision making." - My mom is in the room.

"They're talking to me about playing both ways." - Seriously, Emfinger, step off.

[+/-]

Football: Athlon rank, BCS... again

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

[+/-]

Base/soft-ball tourney stuff

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

[+/-]

Basketball: I wish I could be nicer

I wish I wasn't compelled to rip media members. It makes me look cranky and arrogant. But sometimes I can't help myself. Anger is my happiness.

Besides, I am cranky and arrogant. Let's hit the road! Chris Ballard as CNNSI has an NBA counterpart to the NFL rules changes suggested by Josh Elliot. Unfortunately, it's eighty percent filler, though it still manages to be pretentiously titled "Rule changes would give NBA back to players."

Filtered into categories, his suggestions are...

INSANE
4. Decide double OT games that end tied by shootouts.
A shootout? Shootouts are universally reviled wherever they crop up. No sport which takes itself seriously adopts a shootout if it can possibly avoid it. Ballard "borrows" the idea from soccer, which can't avoid it because players play the whole game and scoring is literally hundreds of times less frequent than it is in basketball. Basketball's overtime is perfectly fine the way it is, duplicating the exciting last five minutes of a tight game. Ballard actually thinks that watching ten guys march to the line to take free throws is superior to this.

7. Four-pointers from 35 feet.
Wha... what? This isn't Rock 'n' Jock. I mean, this is obviously out of the question, right? There are only two possibilities here: this is as completely ludicrous as I think it is and there is no need to explain why this is a bad idea or I need to check into a mental institution.

10. Six fouls isn't an automatic disqualification.
Instead, he proposed teams be given a choice when a player reaches six fouls: either the player fouls out or the opposing team gets a technical free throw and one minute of a 5 on 4 'power play'. I'm speechless.

MEANINGLESS
2. All timeouts will be limited to either 20 or 40 seconds.
This will speed up each game by about a minute since most timeouts immediately trigger three- or four-minute commercial breaks.

6. First round playoff series are best of five.
The real problem is not the length of the playoff series, it's the gaps between games. If the NBA had games every other day like the NHL no one would make much note of it. (I know, I know, don't copy a league bent on moidering itself.)

HORRIBLY DAMAGING TO THE GAME
8. An end to the defensive three-second rule.
I'm in favor of adding the defensive three-second call to the college game. Big men camping out in the lane swallowing up any and all drivers are a major problem in the college game. Let's not spread that disease into the NBA, especially in an era when everyone complains about how boring defense is. Help defense and rotation are good. Buying a timeshare in the lane is bad.

ATTEMPTS AT HUMOR
5. Players can briefly turn over, or "carry," the ball so as to make hesitation dribble moves more explosive.
This may be the pot calling the kettle black, but come on now.

ACTUALLY PLAUSIBLE
1. No more jump balls (other than the opening one).
He proposes the replacement of the jump ball with college's alternating possession arrow. I actually agree with this. Jump balls take forever and are frequently foregone conclusions. mgoblog's rules crusades for basketball and hockey always involve lessening the dead time between interesting things happening.

Also, it bugs me that winning the opening tip confers no benefit to the team that wins it; both teams start two periods of the game with possession. In college you essentially win the first tie-up, since the first possession in the second half goes to the team with the arrow.

3. Institute instant replay.
Plausible. The NFL has wisely disallowed tough judgment calls like holding or pass interference from its instant replay system and I have to assume that the NBA would follow suit. There is no way the referees are going to head over to the instant replay booth to decide whether that block was really a charge or vice versa. So the rule's application would probably be limited to cut and dry situations like whether a three-point shot from a certain player obviously went of the shot clock before dropping in or if a particular block was or was not goaltending.

Would it lengthen the game? Probably not much if a team attempting a challenge was forced to call a time out to do so. The network could immediately cut to commercial time out and the time spent by the referees would be essentially free. The game would be better officiated and some additional strategy regarding timeout use would be introduced without appreciably lengthening the amount of time a game takes. It's a good idea.

That's it for his ten changes. I count three that are worthy of discussion (the two that are plausible and the defensive three-second change, though I think the latter is misguided). The other seven are either the product of some quality Skeete or the product of an empty page and a fast-approaching deadline. Thumbs down, I say.

This post has dragged on long enough, but I feel obligated to offer a set of suggestions of my own so some nobody with a blog can rip it to shreds (hmmm, I might be the man for that job, too). Sometime soon.

[+/-]

Pistons braindump

It has no structure! It's the dreaded "assorted thoughts" post! It's Simmons-esque!

Here goes.

SHEEEEEEEEEED. Obviously, right? That was clearly the man's best game as a Piston. Twenty points, four of five on three-pointers, ten rebounds, three blocks, and a critical charge taken at the end of the game. So I think now is an appropriate time to expound on the brilliance of Joe Dumars once again. Let's not focus on all the things that make Sheed a perfect fit for the Pistons tactically. Let's just focus on this: Sheed is definitely the craziest mofo in the league for as long as Ron Artest is suspended. He was the center of the Jailblazer sideshow, a weed-smoking, ref-threatening, technical-gathering wildman that once spent an entire press conference responding to every question with "Both teams played hard."

Dumars somehow sensed that the massive disturbance in the force embodied by Rasheed Wallace would work in Detroit. And it did! Rasheed's on- and off-court demeanor, so destructive in Portland, is actually a benefit to Detroit because the rest of the starting lineup is the nicest in the NBA. Hamilton, Billups, Prince, and Wallace are all great players and better people, but it's hard to imagine them guaranteeing games and then backing it up with authority. Rasheed gives Detroit fire--just like Nike says. Detroit seems composed of all the best qualities of its players. The Pistons have Ben's work ethic, Billups' coolness, Hamilton's energy, and Prince's intelligence. Rasheed gives them defiant confidence. He fits like the last piece of a jigsaw puzzle. And it's all so obvious now, but only Joe Dumars saw it 15 months ago.

The Bench. I think we should no longer hear about the Pistons bench being their downfall. Antonio McDyess was spectacular last night. Carlos Arroyo had seven assists in 11 minutes. Elden Campbell and Lindsay Hunter both played stretches of excellent defense against Shaq and Wade, respectively.

Arroyo coming around makes a huge difference. Everyone thought he was a star after he helped Puerto Rico demolish the USA in the Olympics but he must have accidentally slept with Jerry Sloan's wife a la Major League or something, because he was quickly buried deep on Team White Supremacy's bench (I think I stole "Team White Supremacy" from Simmons, but it may have been someone else). When Dumars stole him for a late-first round pick everyone was expecting magic out of him and was disappointed. Arroyo couldn't get off the bench, and when he did he was making fancy behind the back passes to whatever semi-celebrity was sitting in the front row.

We should have seen this coming. Larry Brown drives point guards nuts. Remember Chauncey's reaction to Larry Brown? Chafing, chafing, chafing. Brown's "play the right way" mantra drives his players crazy after a while--that's why he has to keep switching teams--and the point guard always gets the brunt of it, because sharing the ball and encouraging movement always starts with him. There was no way that Arroyo was going to leap out of Jerry Sloan's dog house, shake off the rust, and smoothly transition to a Pistons contributor. There was going to be pain. And there was. Unlike Delfino, Arroyo played through it and finally got some meaningful playing time in Game 4 against the Pacers. He played well, but it was a brief stretch during Game 5 that let everyone know that the light had gone on. Arroyo set up McDyess up for a bunny, then drew a charge from Jamal Tinsley, immediately tossed a lob to Ben Wallace that he threw down for a thunderous dunk, then forced a turnover and hit a wide open Billups, who drained a three. By the time he was done the Palace was rocking and the Pistons were up seven. Indiana was drifting towards its Game 6 Reggie Miller Farewell Ceremony. Have I already called Dumars a genius? Damn.

Tayshaun. Dwayne Wade ran smack into the harsh reality of Tayshaun Prince. Prince has the unbelievable ability to make me, a Pistons fan, want whoever he is guarding to shoot a ton... no matter who it is. Tracy McGrady? Enjoy that second round... on TNT. Kobe Bryant? Thanks for the championship. Dwayne Wade? Seven. For. Twenty-five. If you are a superstar shooting guard or small forward and you have the misfortune to play the Pistons in the playoffs, just pass the ball.

Doesn't Tayshaun have to be considered one of the NBA's top five small forwards now? He is the best perimeter defender in the league (period), shoots threes, can post up anyone smaller than him, rebounds, and even has a handle that allows him to play point forward sporadically. His scoring average isn't off the charts but it doesn't have to be on the all-for-one, one-for-all Pistons. Most importantly, he will take your max-earning superstar and turn him into a net negative for your team. He singlehandedly takes teams built around a perimeter superstar drawing tons of attention and destroys their entire team concept. What's more valuable, being the guy who can put up 40 any given night or being the guy who can lock down the guy who can put up 40 every night?

GO! Pistons. Now has a link to the blog. I am joyous. The operator of the site has also given permission for shirts as long as the web address stays on the images. I'm workin' on it.

Monday, May 23, 2005

[+/-]

Indiana Preview 2005: Hoep For The Futuer?

Before you start, read the lowdown on this rundown. Yo.

The Story
When Terry Hoeppner was introduced as Indiana's new head coach, he did something no man had ever done before. He said this: "There is really only one job that I would ever leave Miami for, and that is Indiana University," and proved once and for all that mgoblog could never be a real journalist, as there was no mention of the assembled press corps breaking out into wild, uncontrollable laughter. No offense, Hoosier fans, but I think Hoeppner may have considered an offer from Michigan or Ohio State.

No coach since Lou Holtz has regarded the moribund Hoosier program with such respect. Bill Mallory experienced a modicum of success in the late 80s and early 90s in Bloomington but Indiana hasn't made a bowl game since 1993. In that time it has killed the coaching careers of Mallory, Cam Cameron, and Gerry DiNardo. Hoeppner appears to be next. The Big Ten will be unforgiving over the next few years with Kirk Ferentz edging the Hawkeyes towards national power status, Barry Alvarez settled in at Wisconsin, Ron Zook bringing his recruiting acumen to Illinois, and Glen Mason making the Gophers into a reliable bowl team. There is no room at all for the Hoosiers to move up. Mallory built his teams in a Big Two-Little Eight era. Hoeppner does not have that luxury.

Is there hope? Well, Hoeppner's Miami of Ohio teams were MAC powers behind Ben Roethlisberger and a spread offense--before the spread was cool. But Hoeppner finds himself in a strange position having left a school that is clearly more talented than the one he inherits. Miami would probably be at least a touchdown favorite over Indiana on a neutral field. And how would Miami fare in the Big Ten? Hoeppner has proven he's a good coach, but if he turns Indiana into a winner he'll be doing the coaching equivalent of walking on water. The Hoosiers don't need a coach, they need a savior.

Unit By Unit
Quarterback
Rating: 1. Redshirt sophomore Blake Powers and junior Graeme McFarland are battling for the job. Powers comes in with the better credentials. And by "better credentials" I mean "any credentials at all." I would expect Powers to earn the job unless McFarland blows the doors off in fall practices. If the two are at all close, Hoeppner will build for the future and go with the younger quarterback. Redshirt freshman Mike Vlahogeorge has an outside shot of taking the reins if Powers falters. He enrolled last January and has the benefit of two spring practices at IU. Vlahogeorge finished his high school career with with the third-most passing yards in Indiana history.

Whoever wins the job is likely to be completely overwhelmed. The running game lacks the ability to take the heat off the passing game and after middling senior Jahkeen Gilmore there is a grand total of three catches between the rest of the wideout corps. Expect Indiana's interceptions to skyrocket. Fifth-year senior Matt LoVecchio took care of the ball extremely well last year, throwing only seven interceptions in 271 attempts--there's no way a first year starter with little in the way of supporting talent can match that.

Running Backs
Rating: 2. BenJarvus Green-Ellis--surprisingly just one person--continued a disturbing trend of players treating IU like a junior college by transferring despite getting plenty of playing time. Green-Ellis, the projected starter at tailback, fled for the (slightly) greener pastures of Ole Miss. Green-Ellis was a thudding power back who managed 882 yards last year but only got 3.4 per carry.

Seniors Chris Taylor and Yamar Washington will probably end up splitting carries to start the year as they battle to be Green-Ellis' replacement. One or the other could end up as an improvement over Green-Ellis; Taylor followed up his 327 yards last year (he just managed to hit the four yards-per-carry Mendoza line) with a good spring, and Washington had a very good freshman year before tearing his ACL as a sophomore. He saw a little action last year and averaged 5.3 yards a carry. However, mgoblog has a motto: "If you back up a guy who averaged 3.4 yards a carry you probably aren't all that good." Indiana has been praising their tailbacks since the spring but there's a good chance this is a classic case of underwood (noun, means "unwarranted hype given a player because there appears to be no alternative to him"). It's unrealistic to expect much improvement from the ground game save that which a potentially improved line provides.

A couple of freshmen will press Taylor and Washington for time. Demetrius McCray seems to be the most accomplished coming out of high school after rushing for almost 1,700 yards and 22 touchdowns as a senior. McCray was a top fifty prospect in talent-rich Florida and one of the better recruits in Hoeppner's first class.

Wide Recievers & Tight Ends
Rating: 1. The graduation of Courtney Roby, David Lewis, and Travis Haney leaves the field wide open for redshirt freshmen Marcus Thigpen, James Bailey and Isaac Price. All three played their high school ball in the decrepit Public School League in Detroit. The PSL is a place where high quality coaching and decent weight rooms are few and far between. Diamonds in the rough can be found there. It's a good place for the downtrodden of the world to recruit, but essentially every recruit that comes out of it is a project. Hoeppner must hope that one or two of his three PSL projects develop into a Big Ten-quality wideout. The potential is certainly there; Bailey and Price have excellent size while Thigpen is a 5'9" burner.

The wild card is 6'7" James Hardy, a small forward on Mike Davis' basketball team. It's unclear at this point whether or not he'll play in the fall and if he does how effective he'll be, but 6'7" is 6'7".

Senior Jahkeen Gilmore will start the year as the #1 wide receiver, but don't be surprised if one of the three Detroit wideouts claims the job by the end of the year.

Offensive Line
Rating: 3. The line will receive a huge lift with the return of fifth-year senior left tackle Isaac Sowells and junior center Chris Mangiero from injuries that ended their 2004 seasons. Between those two and seniors Adam Hines and Brandon Hatcher and junior Justin Frye, Indiana will field a line with 94 total starts. So the experience is there. Judging the line's talent is difficult with all the injures. Indiana ceded 27 sacks last year, not good, and averaged 3.1 yards a rush, also not good, but they were missing their best two linemen. If the line remains healthy, expect it to play well.

That's a big if. Depth is a massive issue, and the reason this unit didn't get a four. Past the starting five is a vast wilderness of unblooded redshirt freshmen. One injury to a starter will be damaging. Two will be devastating.

Defensive Line
Rating: 2. Indiana got absolutely crushed on the ground last year, yielding five yards a carry (worst in the conference by almost a half yard) and finishing 99th in the country in rush defense. Three of four starters return, but it's doubtful a single offseason has worked wonders--all three returners were juniors last year, not pups fresh out of high school. They're not likely to instantly turn into stout run stoppers. The new face on the defensive line is a redshirt freshman converted offensive lineman. There is no depth whatsoever behind the starters. This unit will be a major hindrance to the team unless Hoeppner works a near-miraculous turnaround.

The good news? The defensive ends can get some penetration. Last year Kenny Kendal and Victor Adeyanju combined for 10 sacks and 18 tackles for loss between them. If they can bump that up to 15 and 25 Indiana will see significant improvement in their pass defense. There's little hope for the run.

Linebackers
Rating: 3. All-Big Ten second teamer Kyle Killion was the lone bright spot on an overmatched Hoosier defense last year. Linebackers on awful teams often get overrated simply because they have the opportunity to rack up dozens of tackles because their offense can't stay on the field and their defense can't stay off it, but Killion wasn't just cleaning up everyone else's messes. He was a playmaker, amassing 16.5 tackles for loss, five sacks, and two interceptions last year. In almost any other year he would be a legitimate All-Big Ten candidate, but Abdul Hodge, Chad Greenway, and AJ Hawk are all definite NFL first-rounders who play like it. There's no room at the inn for linebackers from Indiana this year.

So Killion is legit. The problem for Indiana is the rest of the linebacking corps. Projected starter Paul Szczesny transfered to Arizona State. Senior John Pannozzo is the projected starter at MLB; until January he was a fullback. Even if he takes to the new position immediately he will have a very hard time reading play action and counters and will probably miss his fair share of tackles. IU's own media guide inadvertently damns the other projected starter, junior Jake Powers: "he played over 350 snaps [last year] and compiled 22 tackles." That number is six percent of the snaps he played, awful for a linebacker, especially when none of those 22 was a tackle for loss or a sack.

Depth? This is yet another unit as deep as Cameron Diaz. If Killion is lost or even hampered, look out.

Defensive Backs
Rating: 3. The Hoosiers finished 102nd in pass defense and 89th in pass efficiency defense for a reason, and it wasn't because they were any good at stopping the run. There are some mitigating factors, however. Indiana gave up an amazing 590 passing yards in the season-ending 63-point demolition at the hands of Purdue. Remove that game and Indiana gave up 223 yards per game in the air. That's good for 71st nationally, which is almost mediocre. (Hey, you have to look hard for the bright spots in a 3-8 season.) Indiana also started one of two true freshmen at the second corner spot all year.

Given that, Indiana's cornerback situation looks relatively pleasant. Senior Buster Larkins had 9 pass breakups last year and those freshmen, Leslie Majors and Tracy Porter, gained a ton of experience splitting the starts at the other spot between them. Both will probably improve a great deal over their first offseason in a collegiate program. Returning strong safety Will Lumpkin had two defensive touchdowns last year. If Killion and the defensive line can get a decent pass rush, it's reasonable to expect the IU pass defense to vault into the middle of the Big Ten.

Return Game
Rating: 5. Junior Lance Bennett had a touchdown returing both a punt and a kickoff last year and finished fourth in the country in kickoff return average. Indiana actually led the nation in kick return average, although they finished in the middle of the pack when it came to punts.

Kickers
Rating: 3. Indiana is looking to replace departed kicker Bryan Robinson. Who knows how his replacements will perform? No one, including Hoeppner. So why ask me?

Punter Tyson Beattie averaged 41.3 yards a kick and dropped 20 inside the opponent's 20. Indiana finished 18th in net punting largely because of his proficiency.

The Schedule
Indiana opens up with a trio of cupcackes. Expect the icing to fly against Central Michigan, I-AA Nichols State, and perennial foe Kentucky. Indiana demolished Central 41-10 last year, and Nichols State should pose no problem.

The Big Ten schedule is brutal. Indiana misses Northwestern and Penn State, two beatable teams with severe flaws. A home game against Illinois is definitely winnable, but the rest of the Big Ten schedule will be a mighty uphill climb. Indiana's other home games are against Ohio State (no chance), Purdue (little chance), and Minnesota (little chance at first glance, but Indiana has owned Minnesota at home recently). Hoeppner could make strides with the team and not see it reflected in the Hoosier's record.

Keys to the Season
Find Skill Position Starters
Indiana's defense will probably be mediocre at best but mediocre would be a massive achievement for an offense breaking in unhyped starters at every offensive skill position and trying to learn an entirely new offense. If Hoeppner can find a quarterback, running back, and wide reciever or two who don't look completely lost, Indiana will be heading in the right direction.

Pull Out All The Stops
There will probably be a conference game or two that Indiana has a fighting chance in. Hoeppner has proven himself to be a good coach and there's enough on the defense that a few teams with blah offenses might find themselves in a tight game with the Hoosiers. A win, any win, would be huge, and one big play off of some trickeration may be the best bet for what figures to be an inept offense.

Just Keep It Close
In 2004 Indiana alternated decent performances against Illinois, Penn State, and Michigan State with hugely demoralizing blowouts against Kentucky, Ohio State, and Purdue. There will be a number of games this season that Indiana won't have a joint's chance on the Ohio State team bus of winning, but sticking around until the third or forth quarter against a Michigan or Ohio State will have a positive effect on morale.

Expectations
Worst Case: Indiana manages to beat Nichols State but blows its other gimme against Central Michigan and finishes the season 1-10 after a series of ignominious defeats.

Best Case: Indiana sweeps its nonconference schedule and beats Illinois, Minnesota, and Wisconsin to finish 6-5. Hoosiers flood the Motor City Bowl in a spasm of uncontrolled joy and in their attempt to "riot" accidentally make the city considerably cleaner and nicer.

mgoblog says... this is a bad year to be breaking in a new head coach with a new quarterback, running back, and top wide receiver. Every team in the Big Ten has a major advantage against the Hoosiers in at least one key area. Indiana should start off 2-0, will probably only win a single additional game the rest of the season, likely against UK, Wisconsin, or Illinois. The offense will be memorably bad and Kyle Killion may end up with 1,000 tackles. 3-8, 11th in Big Ten.

Update 5/25: Added in information about RB Yamar Washington, WR James Hardy, and FS Will Lumpkin. Removed erroneous sentence about Indiana returning both safeties. Noted that the Hooisers have dominated Minnesota at home in recent years. Found where LB Paul Szczensy ended up thanks to commenter (Arizona State). Bumped RB rating to 2.

[+/-]

Football Preview Rules & Regulations

The Problem With Season Previews

They all basically say the same thing. X is gone, Y impressed in the spring, check out A, B, and C to step up. Y, A, B, and C generally change from preview to preview as various writers throw darts at the team's roster.

Unfortunately, I've found that I can't avoid that formula. There's not much to write about if I don't. And, like basically everyone else, I haven't watched Indiana's practices or gone over Iowa's games from last year or put the time in to really understand what Wisconsin is trying to do and how likely they are to be successful. So this is something of an exercise in futility.

What I've tried to do to reduce the futility is something like what I did with the top 50 hockey recruits list... listen to the wisdom of crowds. I take input from the school's media guides, CFN and USA Today previews, and, importantly, I actually ask fans of the team for input and listen carefully to it--after nudging their expectations down a notch or two to dampen homerism. Why do I do this? Because I know damn well that every time a Michigan preview gets posted anywhere it immediately gets its errors torn to shreds by Michigan fans. A fan collective on any message board knows far more about its particular focus than any sportswriter does. The problem is separating out the over-optimistic rah-rah poofery from the legitimate information.

Another thing I've tried to do is not fall into the traps I commonly see others do. To wit:

I won't focus on who's gone. Braylon Edwards won't be catching bombs from Chad Henne any more but what's more important is that Michigan returns Steve Breaston and Jason Avant. They'll hardly miss a beat.
I'll try to provide a range of expectations and point out the things I believe a team has to do to reach the upper end of the range.
I will revise. After each preview is posted I'll post it on the appropriate team's board and let the rip-fest begin. Anything of value I'll incorporate.

I rank each team's units (QB, RBs/FBs, WRs/TEs, OL, DL, LB, DB, Ret, K) on a five point scale like so:
1 - A unit with no experience at all or one that has been proven to be awful. Will probably be one of the worst in the conference. A glaring weakness.
2 - A unit that was shaky last year and doesn't look to improve much, or a lightly experienced group that could hold up if given a lot of support.
3 - Basically average.
4 - A good group of experienced players or a mix of experience and excellent potential, or a great group that's dangerously thin.
5 - Should be a top two unit in the conference. This unit returns a number of players who have proven themselves to be quality Big Ten players and has the depth to withstand an injury or two without a large dropoff in the quality of play.

[+/-]

Football: Video evidence of suck

[+/-]

Football: Recruiting board updated

Sunday, May 22, 2005

[+/-]

Bentley Historical Imageration

I've had a fondness for the Bentley Historical Library ever since someone employed by it emailed the Every Three Weekly to request a copy of an issue they had somehow missed. We had never informed the Bentley of our existence, but that did not deter them from finding and salting away copies of our ridiculous little magazine for posterity's sake. I envisioned that millenia from now, after the inevitable nuclear holocaust caused by an Ohio State grad pushing a button he shouldn't and saying "duh-uh-uh want a cookie," the Bentley Library would stand alone in the post-apocalyptic horror show with things like "70 Laser Wielding Robots Not Loose On North Campus" encased safely behind plexiglass. I immediatey put the sword to about six "Bentley Library Found Useful By Useless Persons" articles, as it never pays to offend anybody with the good sense to archive your writings.

I had forgotten about my love for the Bentley until recently. I was searching for images of Desmond Howard to splice into the logo you see above and encountered a weird black and white headshot that I followed to the Bentley Image Bank, which I soon discovered was fantastic. You can see Fielding Yost buy a Liberty Bond, Tom Harmon doing his best Zoltan the Inconceivable impression, a panoramic view of the 1902 Rose Bowl (which was about as well attended as an MSU hockey game), or Michigan Stadium's first ever OSU game (note all the people wearing hats).

You can check out hockey captains from 1922's Kynle MacDuff to Jed Ortmeyer, but my favorite is a guy who hasn't changed his hair since at least 1962:

Red looks a little less cranky than usual.

But, even though that stuff all rocks, the best part is the organized online exhibits the Bentley has on the winged helmet and football program cover art, the latter especially.

This cover wins the prize for most inexplicable:

Why is a giant chicken skateboarding on the edge of the stadium? It is the mystery.

Giant Skateboarding Chicken excepted, I prefer the idiosyncratic drawings from the early years of Michigan football:

My favorite part of this one is the Michigan State players fleeing in terror. Second favorite is the World War I soldiers on the bottom with the silly hats and socks. Trench warfare is horrific, but that's no excuse to be badly dressed, gentlemen.

This man is definitely saying "I'm a plane! A great big plane with wings!" to himself.

Several of the covers during the 20s gloried in the art of the punt... no doubt something that warms the cockles of Carr's heart.

What's that? You're complaining about another image-heavy, content-light post? Fair enough, but that was a chicken on a skateboard on the cover of a Michigan football program. You should need a lie-down and perhaps some smelling salts.

Update: Commenters point out that the Chicken is the "San Diego Chicken," who was brought in to boost attendance for the Wayne State-Slippery Rock Band day, and that the Michigan Stadium picture pointed out isn't the first game but rather the dedication game during the stadium's first year.

[+/-]

Football: When does it end?

Friday, May 20, 2005

[+/-]

Football: Shamed By the Irish

[+/-]

Look, I'm Rob Parker!

(decided to write something formal on the occasion of Reggie Miller's going-away party. don't worry, it won't last.)

One of the All-Time, uh, Goods
by totally awesome me

In the end, Ben Wallace’s arms were just long enough. Reggie Miller’s three-point attempt—launched from the hand of a man who for one last night was the Reggie Miller of old instead of old Reggie Miller—just grazed his outstretched hand. The shot went straight up, and when it came down Miller’s career was for all intents and purposes over.

That was it. Eighteen years of Reggie Miller and the Pacers, over. The Pistons had snuffed out the Pacers behind a dramatic, improbable block once again. The rest of the game was a series of hugs and a strategically placed Larry Brown timeout that let an entire arena, Pistons included, give Miller a rousing send-off.

It was appropriate that Wallace was the man to put the final nail in Miller’s coffin. Both men are emblematic of their franchises. Wallace is the very embodiment of the blue-collar player, a man no one in the league appreciated until it was too late and the Larry O’Brien trophy was raised in exultation over his head. Miller has been consistently excellent for an extend period of time… just never excellent enough.

Reggie Miller only found himself in one NBA Finals, and that was a perfunctory six-game washout against Shaq and Kobe’s Lakers. Miller battled them and lost. He battled the Bad Boys and lost. He battled Jordan and lost. He battled the Knicks and lost, though he did waste Spike Lee. The unpleasant truth is that Miller and the Pacers never really had a chance over the course of a seven game series or an eighteen year career.

There’s something sad in the championship-less end of an illustrious career, but Miller went out the right way. He was a Pacer, and he went out a Pacer instead of hitching his fading star to a heavy favorite in a desperate attempt to win a ring. Ray Borque, a twenty-year Bruin, never looked right in Avalanche silks. The cup he lifted was made of tin, bittersweet at best.

And though Reggie Miller came to a bitter end there was something sweet in it, too. He had the right uniform on, the right crowd chanted his name, and he seemed content talking to ABC’s Michele Tafoya after the game.

As content as anyone whose 18-year NBA career had just come to an end could be, anyway. Right before Miller talked to ABC, the network managed to pick up part of a private conversation between Miller and Richard Hamilton, his heir apparent, and we got to hear something far more honest and revealing than anything Miller said to Tafoya.

“You do it as long as you can, man,” Miller told Hamilton. That’s a beautiful, tragic sentence that summarizes a large swath of the human experience.

Miller offered it as encouragement to his mirror image. That couldn’t have been particularly pleasant for Miller. His mirror image happens to be decade or two younger than him and sports a fat championship ring he’ll never, ever get himself.

That says more about the Pistons than Miller, because Hamilton’s side of the mirror has Ben Wallace—and Ben Wallace has arms that are just long enough.

Update: I was so dedicated to being Rob Parker that I made a factual error. The Lakers series went to six games instead of five as I originally claimed.