State of Recruiting: Defense

Defensive End

Needs Going In: Minor since uber-LB recruit Brandon Graham showed up weighing 270 pounds and was immediately moved to DE. He joins raw but athletic Adam Patterson in the freshman class. Three more players from said class could end up at DE: John Ferrara, Greg Banks, and Quintin Woods. Woods is slated to start at TE but the other two will be somewhere on the defensive line.

Commitments To Date: Whitehall, Michigan's Ryan Van Bergen commited a month or two before camp

Potential Commitments: Four-star Delaware end Devon Still claimed a Michigan lead a few weeks ago but after him the prospects are few and far between. Perhaps he's enthralled with the uniform after years of growing up with Delaware Blue Hen football. Illinois five-star Martez Wilson continues to list Michigan but is widely presumed to be destined for ND -- there's no accounting for taste. Ryan Kerrigan from Indiana and Eric Thomas from Ohio were mentioned as Michigan possibilities a while ago but are marginal prospects who may not get offers.

You Should Panic This Much: Little. Van Bergen's been tearing it up over the summer. With a couple of top-100 athletes in the previous class and a multitude of Biggs types available, Michigan is probably done unless a pass-rushing Carlos Brown falls into their laps.

Defensive Tackle

Needs Going In: Like quarterback, Michigan has numbers over the past two classes but is short on high end prospects. Two of the aforementioned defensive ends will end up at tackle, probably Ferrara and Banks. As recruits neither was pursued heavily by high end schools; the gurus rated them regarded them as just another guy.

Commitments To Date: None.

Potential Commitments: With Joseph Barksdale and Josh Brent probably headed elsewhere the top name on Michigan's board is Louisiana's Rolando Melancon. Instate defensive/offensive tackle Ryan Wheat could get an offer sometime during his senior year; if he gets one he's likely to commit immediately.

You Should Panic This Much: Quite a bit. The only player who's favoring Michigan at the moment is Melancon and Louisiana prospects have a tendency to zig-zag dramatically. The last class is devoid of potential difference-makers and this one will probably be too.

Linebacker

Needs Going In: Depends on how many linebackers Michigan actually got last year. Quintin Patilla, Obi Ezeh, and Cobrani Mixon are all definites. Brandon Graham now seems like a defensive lineman. Nominal safety Jonas Mouton could go either way. In any case, Patilla and Ezeh were both lightly regarded by recruiting services and

Commitments To Date: Depends on how you view Jerimy Finch. Is he a safety? Is he a linebacker? He's filed under safety here.

Potential Commitments: There aren't any names I can give you aside from Lorenzo Edwards, a safety from Orlando Edgewater (freshman WR Greg Mathews' high school) who plans an official visit in the fall. Michigan is pursuing a couple of Tennessee linebackers likely to remain in the SEC and a couple of guys from New Jersey who seem only vaguely interested.

You Should Panic This Much: Somewhat. Michigan needs one or two linebackers this year and will probably end up offering someone obscure during the fall to make up their numbers.

Cornerback

Needs Going In: Pick an excessively dramatic noun and double it. Jai Eugene's inconvenient decommit late in the process left Michigan without a cornerback last year; the year before that they picked up two California sleepers and fast but molecule-tiny Brandon Harrison. Three commits are probable and if there's a fourth player who wants to commit Michigan will probably take him.

Commitments To Date: Michigan legacy Troy Woolfolk, Butch's son, was offered and committed at Michigan camp. He's a three star to everyone; ESPN likes him least of any of Michigan's ten commitments.

Potential Commitments: Two instate badasses have been presumed Michigan's to lose for about a year now: everyone's five star Ronald Johnson and everyone's near five-star Dionte Allen. That would be reassuring if Michigan hadn't just lost Allen to Florida State. Johnson remains interested. Highly regarded Californian Michael Williams has been down to Michigan and Notre Dame for a while now. Both are top-100 players.

You Should Panic This Much: Allen's FSU commitment removes Michigan's margin for error. Insiders are confident on both Johnson and Williams but were also making assurances that Allen would end up at Michigan right up until he committed to FSU. As long as Johnson continues looking good things will be all right, but you should be spooked.

Safety

Needs Going In: Moderate. Michigan picked up two top-100 players a year ago in Steve Brown and Jonas Mouton but was skunked the year before and needs some depth, especially since Brandon Harrison has returned to corner. Mouton is also a candidate to end up at linebacker.

Commitments To Date: Indiana's top two players, Jerimy Finch and Artis Chambers both commited a couple months into the recruiting year. Finch is well-liked by Scout and ESPN, featuring on their top-100 lists. Rivals, apparently deprived of film, said "meh" in their initial rankings but will move him up when they re-rank.

Potential Commitments: Michigan has offers out to Ohio's Eugene Clifford and California's Malachi Lewis but isn't expected to land either. Clifford seems earmarked for OSU; Lewis is being pursued by a ton of west coast teams.

You Should Panic This Much: You might privately express concern about depth in the future, but Michigan has stockpiled a lot of talent across two classes.

Overall

Michigan finds itself in a precarious position. Much like quarterback, Michigan doesn't need numbers at defensive tackle but could very much use a star. They probably won't get one with Brent and Barksdale looking to go elsewhere. They need numbers and talent at corner after two consecutive years of striking out on big names. All the right things are being said by and about Ronald Johnson but if he, like Allen, were to decide on another school Michigan would be staring at an unmitigated disaster on the defensive side of the ball.

Finch is an excellent player and the buzz on Van Bergen is growing, but Michigan has no linebacker prospects, only one defensive tackle who seems like a candidate to commit, and is living on the edge at cornerback.

Right-now grade: C+. Ron Johnson officially committing would bump that up to a solid B.

Northwestern Preview: The Show Goes On

The Story

Football will continue in Evanston after Randy Walker's shocking midsummer death but wins and losses will be beside the point. That's probably a good thing for Pat Fitzgerald, thrust into the head coach spotlight at only 31 without four-year starter Brett Basanez or much hope on the other side of the ball. Northwestern will enter the year without the two men who came to symbolize the program over the past four years, adrift and looking for purchase on the harsh terrain of a Big Ten schedule without Minnesota or Indiana. The defense also lost a star contributor in painful fashion when defensive end Loren Howard was injured on the eve of last season. He decided to redshirt and bolt to Northwestern's Pac-10 doppleganger, Arizona State. Left in his wake is the usual array of pedestrian linemen and overachieving linebackers, though the defensive backs resemble helpless kittens far less than usual.

The outlook is grim, especially when you consider Northwestern's outlying turnover ratio: they were +9 despite having a terrible defense because said defense managed 30 takeaways, including 20 interceptions. That is well into the land of flukes. With a mewling babe replacing ancient Brett Basanez, Northwestern's turnovers figure to shoot up. Probability and common sense declare that their takeaways will travel in the reverse direction. Presto: likely two-game swing to the bad.

This is all terribly unfortunate for one of college football's most likeable programs. Northwestern churns out a steady supply of moxie-filled quarterbacks, glass-eating linebackers, and dramatic instant classics full of last-second twists M. Night Shyamalan would dismiss as implausible. But the facts are the facts, cruel as they may be; one can only hope that this year is the opening act in a tale of redemption that culminates in the two years Northwestern is off Michigan's schedule.

Offense

Last Year: A machine led by Basanez with plenty of help from Sutton, Herbert, Strief, et al. Talented and forced to get every point available from first play to last by the nation's worst defense, Northwestern churned through its opponents to the tune of 500 yards per game, finishing 26th nationally in rushing and 7th in passing.

Quarterback

Rating: 1. The only thing anyone knows about Northwestern's starting quarterback is that he isn't Brett Basanez. Sophomore CJ Bacher and his six career completions are projected to start, and this concludes the Bacher scouting report. I've scoured the Internets for any information on him and every preview -- every preview -- says "Bacher is in competition with Andrew Brewer and Mike Kafka." Some venture to guess he will start, probably because Kafka keeps turning into a beetle. None deigns to speculate on his strengths aside from CFN's usual "this stud has incredible accuracy and blazing speed but is still searching for consistency. If he finds it he could be nasty."

Whoops!

So. Bacher was a three star recruit a couple years ago with offers from an array of Mountain West and WAC schools plus Arizona, Oregon State, and Northwestern. He committed to the Beavers, visited Northwestern, and switched. Though he was listed as a dual-threat QB by Rivals he ran for a mere 170 yards as a junior (senior rushing stats were not mentioned). Over the last two years of his high school career he completed 64% of his passes for over 3,000 yards. The always excessively positive scouting reports mention an extremely accurate arm and "improved decision-making," which is a backhanded compliment at best.

The projection? Bacher's going to get an opportunity to live up to that dual-threat designation. Northwestern ran the zone read years before Vince Young made it cool and if you remember the early days of Basanez back when the horseless carriage was new, he was more likely to grit out a first down by absorbing a punishing blow from a linebacker than by actually completing a pass. With Tyrell Sutton in the backfield, one experienced wide receiver, and a veteran offensive line all signs point to a rush heavy version of Northwestern's spread chameleon in '06. If Bacher's arm is as accurate is reputed he'll get the opportunity to toss a lot of short throws to possession receiver Sean Herbert and Sutton, but Northwestern is going to revert from hoping their quarterback wins games to hoping he doesn't lose them.

Running Backs

Rating: 5.

Pint-sized Tyrell Sutton's first collegiate season was a hit. Reminiscent of fellow miniature powerhouses Mike Hart and Brian Calhoun, Sutton's quick cuts, excellent vision, and surprising power after contact were good for 1474 yards at 5.9 per carry and freshman All America teams far and wide. His 44 catches out of the backfield were vital icing in Northwestern's offense of a thousand papercuts. Lest you believe that Sutton's numbers were a mirage of cheap yards against terrible defenses, he picked up 112 against Penn State and 93 versus Ohio State (on only 14 carries!). Sutton is poised to be a thorn in Big Ten sides for the next three years.

However, without Basanez's arm keeping safeties honest Sutton may find the sledding significantly tougher as a sophomore. If we make the safe assumption that whoever the starting quarterback is can't approach Basanez's efficiency and command of the offense, the only way to keep that eighth man from finding his way into the box will be to establish someone, likely Kim Thompson, as a deep danger. That requires not one but two untested players to step up -- unlikely. All eyes will be on Sutton* in '06.

He'll have more backup this year as Brandon Roberson and Terrell Jordan both return from injuries. They'll share the load, but this is Sutton's show.

*(As long as he's not standing behind anyone bigger than him, e.g. a six year old girl.)

Wide Receivers & Tight Ends

Rating: 3. Northwestern returns Sean Herbert, their leading receiver a year ago with 79 catches, but loses Mark Philmore and Jonathan Fields, who combined for 115 catches of their own. The departees should be relatively replaceable: combined they averaged barely over ten yards a catch and were summarily ignored by the NFL. While Herbert is likely to meet the same fate upon graduation ( he wasn't much of a deep threat either with just 862 yards on his 79 catches) he is a reliable cog in the offense and a player many teams could use.

Kim Thompson, suspended for academics before the Sun Bowl, is eligible once more and will no doubt be referred to as the "X factor" by dozens of analysts, color commentators, and pundits by the time the season ends. His 19 catches a year ago came with 326 yards and he was one of many to burn the Wisconsin secondary, catching a 53 yard touchdown in a wild 51-48 Wildcat win. Thompson has speed few Northwestern skill players do and could, given the right confluence of circumstances, emerge into a feared weapon.

Rasheed Ward and Ross Lane will platoon at the third wideout spot. Lane was mostly quiet a year ago before torching UCLA for seven catches and 136 yards; Ward had seven catches in the first three games and zero the remainder of the season.

Offensive Line

Rating: 3. Despite the departure of longtime right tackle Zach Strief, Northwestern returns five starters of a sort. Center Trevor Rees, the starter in '03 and '04, has resolved the academic issues that kept him out last year. That allows poor, poor Austin Matthews, he of the four-second half holding penalties versus Gabe Watson, to move out to Strief's old spot where he will be given the opportunity to hold the various defensive ends of the Big Ten.

Matthews' presence in the starting lineup sounds a note of concern. He was bewildered and overmatched most of last year, losing his starting spot partway through the season before reclaiming it for the Sun Bowl. The offseason losses of Thomas Bemenderfer (transfer) and Tyler Compton (academics*) stripped the staff of options; now Matthews is going to try a switch similar to the one that Rueben Riley did and Michigan fans feared. This does is not likely to work out well.

The rest of the line is experienced and competent. There's no star to build around and they'll have to do a lot more run-blocking, but survey says they will be decent.

*(Northwestern's dedication to suspending the hell out of any athlete who so much as looks at a professor funny is the true mark of an academically rigorous program.)

Defense

Last Year: Typically repulsive: better than only Illinois against both run and pass in conference in total yardage terms and the worst in the entire country when the two are combined.

In reality, it probably wasn't quite as bad as all that. Northwestern's defensive numbers have long been depressed by their frenetic style of offense, which leads to more drives against. In terms of yards per play Northwestern was a shiny tenth in conference, 0.4 better than Illinois. Their pass efficiency defense, fifth in conference, was downright average. They probably weren't the worst defense in the country.

So they've got that going for them.

Defensive Line

Rating: 1. Starting tackles Barry Coefield, second-team All Big Ten a year ago, and Trevor Schultz are gone, leaving little in their wake. Sophomore John Gill got seven starts a year ago -- Schultz was in and out of the lineup with injury and academic issues -- but he's the only player with anything more than spot plays. Redshirt freshman Adam Hahn has leapt into a starting spot. Defensive coordinator Greg Colby is frank about his expectations:

"We feel like we have to do more of that (play a 3-4) simply because it's hard for anybody to find those Loren Howards out there that can pass rush on the edge," said Colby. "But we can find a lot of those 6-2, 6-3, 250 pounders that are kind of 'tweeners,' between linebacker and (defensive) end. It's easier for us to find those kids.

"We don't enough (ends) to play 3-4 exclusively and we don't have enough linemen to play 4-3 exclusively, so we're going to play them both next year."

(And it's a punch in the guy when you do find those Loren Howards, but they decide to screw off to Arizona State for their senior seasons.) It's fairly easy to read between the lines of this quote: "we don't have anybody and will attempt to confuse opponents into thinking otherwise." Linebacker Nick Roach has said that the 3-4 will be a situation defense employed exclusively on passing downs in an effort to get a pass rush.

Sophomore end Kevin Mims was pretty bad last year, but as a true freshman he has an excuse. Junior David Ngene, who was clearly not as good as Mims despite being a year older, steps into the starting lineup with 12 tackles from last year. The Colby quote above indicates that he isn't expecting either Mims or fellow starter to provide much in the way of disruption; Mims might improve on his two sacks as a freshman but Northwestern's pass rush is going to have to come from a creative array of blitzes.

This is probably going to be the worst defensive line in the conference other than Indiana.

Linebackers

Rating: 3. Far down the list of Northwestern's offseason losses is "Best Nickname in College Football," which belonged to middle linebacker Tim "Angry Irishman" McGarigle. Northwestern will probably feel the loss of McGarigle's 548 career tackles -- the all-time NCAA record -- more keenly.

Northwestern does return starters Nick Roach and Adam Kadela; the pair were functional a year ago but at least partially to blame for Northwestern's ugly run defense. With only seven TFLs and two sacks between them, the stats paint a picture of a lot of tackles eight yards downfield. A mitigating factor: Roach broke his tailbone in the Iowa game and played through the pain for the last portion of the season.

Senior Demetrius Eaton steps into a starting spot on the outside (Kadela moves inside to replace McGarigle), but at 250 pounds he joins a remarkably uniform group: both other starters are 245. No one is particularly athletic -- giant fast guys generally attend places best described as "not Northwestern" -- and if they find themselves out of position they will not get back. The linebackers will be solid up the middle but vulnerable to play action, misdirection, and plain old outside running.

Defensive Backs

Rating: 3.

Cole with the tackle.

Long Northwestern's glaring weakness, it would be folly to expect sudden improvement from this unit but for the first time in a long time there is something resembling a flicker of hope. Senior cornerback Marquice Cole was actually kind of all right last year, though his second-team All Big Ten award came from the media and is largely attributable to his shiny 5 in the interception column. Cole is limited by his size, generously listed as 5'10", but is incredibly fast and more than capable of covering smaller wide receivers man-to-man. He's the closest thing to a good corner Northwestern's had... well... ever. He could get drafted(!)

The catch is that opposite Cole is a giant question mark and question marks, lacking arms, are distinctly poor in coverage. Junior Deante Battle was coming along nicely until being hit with an academic suspension before the Sun Bowl. His status for the upcoming season is still in question. The other options, senior Cory Dious "Mio" and sophomore Eric Peterson, do not inspire confidence. Peterson was a wide receiver until spring practice; now he is the leading candidate to start at corner. As frequent readers will no doubt recall, position-switcher-to-potential-starter is a primary MGoBlog panic heuristic. Wildcat fans should be holding prayer vigils for Battle.

[Update: Battle is eligible; rating bumped up to 3.]

Senior strong safety Bryan Heinz is the other solid player in the Wildcat secondary. He returned for the Sun Bowl after blowing out his knee right before the '05 season. With two years of starting experience under his belt and some mild regional buzz before his knee injury, he'll do his best to slow the horde of running backs and wide receivers threatening the endzone.

Brendan Smith and Reggie MacPherson are competing for the other safety spot. Both started four games a year ago, but Smith, a freshman, would have started more but for a midseason injury. Both will play; Smith will play more.

Special Teams

Kickers & Coverage

Rating: 1. You may remember kicker Joel Howells from disasters like "Missing two extra points, having a field goal blocked, and two onside kicks so incompetent that the same guy returned them for touchdowns against UCLA" and "going 11 for 21 despite attempting only short field goals." He's not good. He's better than Brian Huffman, who singlehandedly sabotaged the '04 TCU game, but that's not much of an accomplishment.

Punter Ryan Pederson was no better. Despite averaging under 40 gross yards per kick, he (and the coverage units) allowed teams to average eight yards a return. Northwestern was 103rd in net punting.

Schedule

Non-Conference: Soft but not terrible. New Hampshire is a good I-AA team but still a I-AA team; Eastern Michigan would probably be a bad I-AA team. Two weird road games will pose challenges: Nevada and a team Blue Ribbon describes as "MAC power Ohio," by which they mean "MAC Power Miami(Ohio)."

Miami-Northwestern might not seem like must-see TV, but Walker attended then coached there before arriving in Evanston. As the season opener for both teams it'll no doubt be Randy Walker's unofficial testimonial game and quite moving despite ESPN's best efforts to ruin it.

Conference: Ugly. Off the schedule are Indiana and Minnesota. The road slate, well...

• @ Penn State
• @ Wisconsin
• @ Michigan
• @ Iowa

Adding injury to throbbing, pulsating injury: the first two and last two games are back-to-back.

We're Sure About

Sutton. He's good and, like Javon Ringer, has found an offense perfectly suited to his talents.

The Defensive Line. Will be terrible.

We Have An Idea About

The Offensive Line. By now they've established themselves for what they are: all right, but nothing more. The situation at right tackle gives this unit some bust potential, though.

The Secondary. They could be all right, but first they'll have to find a corner other than Cole.

We Have No Clue About

The Quarterbacks. Ciphers all! Whoever gets the start will no doubt be the proverbial heady winner who makes the most of his ability despite physical limitations, but he's not going to be first team All Big Ten.

An Embarrassing Prediction, No Doubt

Best Case

There isn't much upside in this team without giving the Wildcats quarterback, whoever he is, way more credit than is reasonable. Sure, Bacher or whoever could be fantastic out of the gate, but realistically this is going to be a season to watch and learn. 5-7.

Worst Case

The quarterback situation degenerates into farce, leaving Sutton staring down eight- and nine-man fronts the bulk of the year. The defense performs like one expects a Northwestern defense to perform. At some point, they throw the towel in. 3-9.

Final Verdict

The defense should improve statistically -- it would be hard not to -- but probably not meaningfully. There's no one to rush the passer and blitzing leaves whoever isn't Marquice Cole on an island with a big neon sign that reads "toast." The rush defense was ugly despite the presence of three veterans right up the middle; now those veterans are gone. The linebackers should be serviceable but there won't be much contribution from the line.

The offense will drop off some without Basanez. He was quietly outstanding a year ago, one of the more underrated players in the country, and there's no replacing his experience. Tyrell Sutton and a veteran offensive line should keep the Wildcats competitive, but it will be a rough year for a program that deserves better.

Wins: EMU, New Hampshire
Probable Wins: Illinois
Tossups: @ Miami(OH), Purdue, @ Nevada
Probable Losses: @ Wisconsin, @ Penn State, MSU
No Chance: @ Iowa, @ Michigan, Ohio State

It looks like 4-8.

Let's Cut Larry Harrison

...some slack.

Harrison, of course, was the Michigan defensive lineman who made a habit of strolling around Ann Arbor masturbating in front of alarmed coeds. When caught by police he was booted from the team and transferred to I-AA North Carolina A&T. (It's unclear whether Harrison had the option of remaining a Michigan student or not.) His year was as uneventful as possible for a famous for masturbating. He started on the defensive line, made 39 tackles, and kept his pants in an upright and locked position at all times as the wheels of justice ground slowly towards him.

Harrison was convicted in December and dismissed by A&T pending a standard review of his case. Eventually the school, working with the Michigan legal system, agreed to re-admit him so he could continue with the rest of his life. Six days ago, The Greensboro News-Record, a classy newspaper way more responsible than crazy bloggers, slapped this headline across their front page six days ago:

Sex felon returns to N.C. A&T

Two days ago the editor put up a blog post defending their decision to continue their series on Harrison (one of the letters mentions this is the second front page story on Harrison within a week) with the following rationale:

• "The young man has had a high profile for a year." Just a thought: maybe this is because the Greensboro News-Record keeps putting him on the front page.
• "Last week, we learned the university had readmitted him and he was going to play football again. Then, once we asked about his status, the acting chancellor got involved and determined that Harrison would not be play football." The News-Record must have a very large front page if it covers every A&T student who doesn't play football -- and thanks to their diligent pursuit of the truth Harrison has joined their ranks and can no longer do the one thing he knows he's exceptional at. No doubt that will straighten his life out. Hey, it worked for Maurice Clarett.
• And, of course, the News-Record has to save the children: "* Most important, a convicted sex offender is going to attend a state university alongside many students who are going to be away from home and unchaperoned for the first time. We believe that is important information for the A&T community to know. (As a parent of a college-age student, I find that information relevant.)" Because this "high profile" young man is a complete unknown to the A&T community. No doubt everyone plum forgot after the last front-page article.
  
• ...but not the Duke children: "Quick add: I should emphasize that it makes a difference that A&T is a state institution. It has, in my mind, responsibilities to taxpayers and citizens that private schools don't necessarily have."

All you need to know about the legitimacy of these articles is contained in the last pathetic bullet. "N.C. A&T is a public school" is not a reason for or against informing your readership of the re-admission of a sex offender, dangerous or no. The straws strain from the various clutchings going on.

Yesterday the AP published a completely quote-free story on the university's reaction to the manufactured scandal:

Officials of North Carolina A&T State University say they want to know more about how a former University of Michigan football player was allowed back into school after being convicted of a felony sex offense.

Shirley B. Frye, special assistant to interim Chancellor Lloyd V. Hackley, plans a trip to Michigan this week to review documents in the case of Larry Tarone Harrison Jr., university spokeswoman Mable Scott said Tuesday.

Harrison's status as a college student is in danger of being revoked once more.

I have no wish to defend Harrison's actions. I have always held that no one should be forced to watch a 300-pound defensive lineman masturbate.* No doubt the women he approached were scared out of their minds -- if a three-hundred-pound man approached me with his poxy mast rigged and ready for sail I would be frightened, too -- but the only person Harrison touched was himself. At its heart this story is about Harrison doing something weird and frightening, but not evil. It's his misfortune that his particular weirdness is a hanging curve for a horde of loud, twitchy people.

Despite harming no one, Harrison has lost any opportunity to make a living in football and is on the verge of being run out of college entirely. He's is clearly in need of counseling or (helpful prescription) drugs or psychiatry but, in a word, this is insane. Sure, he's a "sex felon," but to paste that into a splashy I-A headline is irresponsible. It conjures images of violent sexual assault; the only reason it's not libel is that it's technically true. The only reason that provocative headline was on the front page was to sell papers, whether or not the N-R will admit that, and that's despicable. But we do what we must for circulation numbers.

If Harrison was a Dungeons & Dragons aficionado instead of a defensive lineman, this story would have elicited mild titters when he was caught and then faded away. Harrison would have dealt with the justice system, transferred somewhere, and not been the focus of stories on the front pages of totally classy newspapers. Well, Greensboro News-Record: Harrison's not a football player any more. He's just a guy who may or may not like Dungeons & Dragons, so you can ignore him like the rest of the area sex offenders.

And kids, please: Don't be Harrison or Mike Cooper. Masturbate in the comfort and privacy of your home.

*(That sentence is a candidate to go on my gravestone.)

Ok, Ok: Clarett Totally Arrested And Stuff

Yes, kids, this happened:

After an illegal U-turn, Clarett led police on an OJ-like chase from one Columbus suburb to another and then back before the cops managed to spike-strip his car. Clarett was drunk, wearing a bullet-proof vest, and in possession of four loaded firearms and a hatchet. The DJL Zone was there!

This is part funny -- a superfluous hatchet is funny in any circumstance -- but mostly tired and sad. Clarett is clearly even more deranged than the average player who chooses Ohio State and in need of (helpful prescription) drugs or psychiatry or both.

Question: what in the hell is Clarett still doing in Columbus? The entire city hates him after his sordid journey and revelations to ESPN (good job following up on those bad boys, NCAA!). He'd be better off literally anywhere else. Two-second pop pyschology: Clarett desperately needs any kind of attention, even raw hatred, and Columbus is the place he's most likely to get it. Hopefully prison treats Clarett better than life -- it can't be any worse.

Side note: Watching "American Dragon: Jake Long" right now. Jake speaks in a weird kid-ified Snoop shizzle speak. He's currently fighting an infestation of wedding-ruining gremlins by dancing something called the "hubba-hubba hula." It's working! GO JAKE LONG. Now he's rapping. CEASE AND DESIST.

Unverified Voracity: Coke Geyser Edition

Memorize this phone number:

(312) 239-0841

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to get hammered at some point during the season, call it, and leave a profane message directed at the college football antagonist of your choice.

Not dead yet: Antonio Bass. Sam Webb -- a GBW writer I have no problems with, for the record -- has an article on the star-crossed wideout's status. Money graf:

"I'm having a basic knee test just to check my whole knee…to check out everything to see if everything is going right and if everything is going as good as it possibly can," Bass explained. "That's all it really is. It's like the whole knee procedure. It's like a checkup. I'm not concerned at all. I'll be back next year and I'll be back better than ever."

The "basic knee test" Bass refers to was the source of much consternation when Carr referred to it as a make-or-break examination that would determine Bass' fate. We won't really know if he's going to return to full health until he steps on the field next year but at this point it sounds like he'll be given the opportunity to do so.

Also not dead yet: Anthony Thomas. The former rookie of the year has found something of a home in Buffalo:

There's one running back on the [Bills] roster who I fully expect to eat into McGahee's workload. Former two-time 1,000-yard rusher Anthony Thomas had his best seasons in Chicago under Dick Jauron and appears set to become a factor on the field once again after two lost seasons. He looked quicker than I've seen him since his days with the Michigan Wolverines and hit the corner on sweeps with power and authority, even seeking out contact downfield.

... There's some speculation that Jauron will give his former No. 1 back a shot to become a goal-line vulture.

Rivals has re-ranked their 2007 basketball 150. Alex Legion moves down to #38 but Manny Harris moves up to #36. Kelvin Grady is still not listed, which is not a surprise.

I fail at the Internet. Diet Coke + Mentos == EXPLOSIONS!!! I am so, so out of touch: NPR beat me to this by months. Radio about exploding soda? What is this, 1925?

Etc.: Jim Carty on Kolodziej; Vijay digs up video from... 1903(!); Ohio State tight end Marcel Frost -- the projected starter -- has been suspended for the entire season. Reason given: "violating team rules."

Fantasy Camp Firsthand

The fantasy camp is a strange institution. Though the fantasies therein are always restricted to mere sport, they charge fees that imply otherwise. Grown men happily pay these fees. Why? Jon Chait explains below.

Make sure you pick up the next "Play" issue of the New York Times Magazine on October 29th for a full article on the experience

I attended the Michigan football fantasy camp last Thursday and Friday. The first thing to say is that it was an incredible experience. If you have the $2500 to blow, I strongly recommend that you do it next year. If you don’t have the $2500, I urge you to start selling heroin to schoolchildren to raise the necessary funds.

The second thing to say is that the coaches deserve enormous credit. They volunteered their time teaching football skills to a pack of hopelessly over-the-hill super-fans. They took to the task with immense enthusiasm, and I think every one of us came away with a high opinion of them and the work they do. If I was a football coach, this is not the way I’d like to spend my last two days of vacation until Thanksgiving, but they all seemed to be enjoying themselves.

Let me first discuss the camp, and then after some takeaways.

Day 1

Around noon on Thursday buses picked us up at the Campus Inn and drove us to the football locker room. It’s a pretty cool place. We all had nameplates on out lockers, Michigan shorts and t-shirts, and socks waiting at our lockers. There were refrigerators with bottles of water and Gatorade. After we changed into that and cleats/gym shoes we filed out to the buses and were driven to Schembechler Hall.

First Scott Draper, the Asst. AD for Football, told us expectations – feet on floor, eyes ahead, no hats, etc. Then Lloyd Carr came in and gave a presentation for an hour. It was basically the same spiel he gives the players for the first meeting of practice (last Sunday, I think.) One theme that emerged from it, and subsequent talks, is that the coaches obviously think their central challenge is keeping players who aren’t playing happy. Their big fear is that bench guys bitch and poison the whole team morale. Over and over they hit on the need to not complain about PT, don’t listen to players who are complaining, etc. Also the normal go to class, be on time stuff.

Then we had an hour long meeting with the offensive coaches, mostly DeBord. The meetings were leading up to a scrimmage the next day, and the program was to install two plays, a run and a play-action pass off the same run action. The offensive coaches were running through the diagram of the play and the description of every position’s assignment. They moved really fast. It seemed most guys had some trouble keeping up.

Followed next an hour-long meeting with the defensive coaches where we put in one base defense. My main takeaway here: Ron English is awesome. When it comes to UM coaches there’s English and there’s everybody else. He has this Bo-like charisma and command. I was blown away by the guy.

Then we went outside for nearly two hours of position drills. We broke into 8 groups and rotated through, spending about 15 minutes with every position coach learning basic techniques. We had everything except tight end. Main takeaway here – I never realized before how every minute aspect of what the player does – stance, first step, second step – is choreographed.

After that, bused back to hotel for shower, rest and then cocktail hour and dinner. The coaches were there and we got to schmooze them. Eric Campbell sat at my table. Bo was the keynote speaker. Some of his material was familiar but most of the campers hadn’t heard it. Heck, Bo’s delivery is good enough that familiar material isn’t boring.

Day 2

Next morning, bus to locker room to change (where clean stuff was waiting), bus to Schembechler for meetings. We reviewed the offensive and defensive plays, and the coaches showed us film of the players in spring practice running those plays. One run had Grady busting a long run, one pass had Breaston scoring on a deep post pattern. Breaston also had a knockout block. The coaches went over what every player did and showed you the way it’s supposed to work, or what reads the defensive player should make. This was really cool stuff.

[Note: the victim of many offensive highlights was Charles Stewart. I jokingly asked Ron Lee about that later, and he said it was the first week of practice, and Stewart got much better after.]

Then the highlight (for me) of the whole time: 11 on 11 scrimmage. Bad thing is, it was just an hour. For the first half hour I was playing defense with everybody else who was in groups 5-8. The first 15 minutes of that was a scrimmage, where we ran through assignments against a scout team. It was still 11-on-11 and it was fun. After 15 minutes, we ran over to the offensive side to go against the offensive guys in a semi-live scrimmage. (There were no helmets or pads, so it was wrap rather than hit, but a few guys went down. It felt like football to me, but without the collisions.)

There were lots of guys, so we broke up into three units, chosen at random. I was the second unit in. We were jumping up and down on the sidelines cheering the defense, and telling each other that when we got in we wouldn’t give up a yard. I don’t think we did. I played strong-side defensive end. (I wanted to play safety because of English, but everybody seemed to have the same idea and we were six-deep there with volunteers. So I moved to d-line, which had barely enough for one unit, thinking I’d get more reps. But then they moved a bunch of guys from safety and it evened out.) I had three scrimmage plays. The first two were runs, and instead of holding my gap I was incredibly eager to make a tackle so I over-penetrated, opening up a seam. Fortunately my teammates bailed me out. Third play was a pass, and I blew past the tackle, blew past the fullback, and got to the QB just as he rushed off a pass.

Next was offense. Again, first we practiced, this time in separate units, then 15 minutes of scrimmage. This time they let people play wherever. I played o-line because we had only 8 guys there, as opposed to four deep or more at receiver, QB, etc. So I got to play nearly every down. It was a blast. One play we opened up a huge hole on a run. After the play, Andy Moeller looks at me and says, “where you on the right side on that play?” I say yes. “Nice job,” he says. I should note that I have by this point become pathetically eager for their approval.

Last offensive play, and the coaches are making a big deal out of which side wins. DeBord comes into the huddle. He says we’ll do the normal run, except the flanker will come around for a reverse around left end. As the right guard, I make an impromptu decision to pull around left end and lead the play. It works (I sealed off the rush end) and they were super-surprised. We got like thirty yards, and we thought it was a TD but later discovered the flanker was shoved out of bounds. Classic DeBord Ball: run the same thing hundreds of times in a row, then break tendency once for a huge play.

After that, bus to the locker room, shower and change, walk to Champions Center for lunch. More schmoozing. They had wide screen TVs lining the walls, alternating between the MSU game and the PSU game. Loeffler was at my table and gave the inside account of what went down on the last PSU drive. (When Henne threw short on the second-to-last play, he said, “I could have killed him.”) Carr was 5 feet away from me, and we bantered a bit about the two seconds he got back. There was a pretty good talk/slide show on Fielding Yost by an author who wrote a book on the Big House.

Bus to Schembechler for a film breakdown of the scrimmage. This was great. The whole conceit of the camp was being treated like players, and DeBord was ridiculing bad plays to much laughter. When an old guy limped out on a pass route he said “we need more speed at that wide receiver position.” But it really did look like football for the most part. We sat in position groups, me with Stripling and then Moeller, and they critiqued every play we ran. Good coaching tips. Strip criticized my over-penetration on the runs. When my near sack came up, English yells out, “Who’s the end?” I raise my hand. “Nice job, end,” he says. Stripling says my over-penetration finally pays off. I tell him I’m a third-down defensive end, and he laughs.

Then Carr talks again and gives a Q and A session (whole thing was an hour). Then we bus to stadium, put on jerseys with out names, and run out the tunnel while being announced. Some friends and family were there. Pretty cheesy, I thought. There was a passing competition where you try to hit dummies from 10, 20, and 30 yards, and the winner got an autographed helmet. My brother and I straggle for a while, throwing passes on the field, and when we walk of Carr is there, and the two of us start chatting as we go through the tunnel. Then after like 30 seconds I hear behind me a woman calling “Chait? Chait?” I turn around and it’s a woman saying she knows my dad and am I related. My brother, who was following behind me, has my back and goes over to take this one, but by then Carr was talking to somebody else. Thanks for rescuing me from that conversation with Lloyd Carr, lady.

Aftermath

Now, some thoughts on the coaches. First, of course, is Lloyd Carr. Carr was incredibly generous with his time. He gave a couple hour-long presentations, lots of us got to chat him up multiple times, and he was on the field throughout practice. He is on the whole a very good coach, and the thing he’s great at is the most important thing to be good at: he knows how to recruit good players and mold them into a team. The camp gave a very good insight into the ethos of Michigan football, the way Carr emphasizes going to class, playing as a team, not taunting the opponent, never celebrating by yourself, and so on. Carr recruits great players because he has integrity and it comes across.

Of course, Carr also has a maddening tendency to sit on leads, and that came across as well. The common theme of Carr’s presentation was fear, fear of turnovers, penalties, and mistakes. He has the mentality of a old man who lived through the Depression. When Ron English talks, the meta-theme is: if you do what I tell you and follow the correct techniques, we will dominate the opposition, and they cannot score. When Carr talks, he just conveys terror of things going wrong.

Carr is *explicit* about the offense and defense playing two different ways. When the offense is behind, we have to score. When the offense is ahead, we must protect the ball. When the defense is ahead, we must protect the lead, and when we’re behind it must get the ball back. If there was any question that he has a fundamentally different mentality when we’re behind and ahead, it was utterly dispelled.

Carr and other offensive coaches made it clear: When we have a small lead late in the fourth quarter, we are going to run the ball. We are going to do this even if the defense is in a ten man front. Most of the time we don’t want to run against an overloaded defense, but at the end of the game strategy is out the window and it’s a matter of willpower.

Now, does this mean we’re doomed? I say no. Our running game had several interrelated problems. First, we ran in predictable situations, like the end of a game with the lead. Second, our formations tipped off when we would run and where, so the safeties charging the line knew exactly where to go to fill the hole. This has been the problem for ten years. It’s just too hard to make the unblocked man miss when he know where you’re going before the snap.

The reason I’m optimistic is that we’re changing our offensive schemes. I can’t say how because the coaches want to keep this secret. But it’s an important change that I believe will make us better at running, and better at integrating the pass and run game. I say this as a fan who’s grown exasperated with years of poorly-designed offenses. In years past we’ve seen, at best, tiny improvements invariably followed by slow regression. This year I think we’re going to have real reform.

Now, some other coaching outtakes. Steve Szabo inspires confidence. He’s a former Navy guy, and has a tough, laconic manner, kind of like Clint Eastwood, and an NFL background. (I have heard secondhand that he may not care for Charlie the Weis.) The linebacker style will be more aggressive. Here’s one example: During linebacker drills, at one point we lined up across from a pair of backs and were told simply to flow to the ball – go whichever way the backs go. My first time, I tried to do the classic Michigan linebacker thing. I shuffled parallel to the line, kept leverage on the ballcarriers, and closed in as they approached the line. Szabo did not like that. He wanted me to be more aggressive. Indeed, he was telling everybody to be more aggressive. So, next time up, as soon as the tailback took a step I made a beeline for him like he had just done something horrible to my family. Szabo liked that a lot. I think if I had snuck into the tailbacks room the night before and hit him while he slept he would have liked it even more. The linebacker style of play is going to be very different, and I’m basing this on more than just that one experience.

Some other impressions: Ron Lee is gregarious and funny. Andy Moeller may be the least awe-inspiring of the coaches (my brother called him “the coach most likely to be mistaken for a camper”) but he’s a good teacher and extremely likeable. No wonder he’s such a good recruiter – he projects integrity. DeBord is loud, enthusiastic, and pretty funny. Steve Stripling is low-key and a good technician. Ron English is a God among men.

Thanks to Jon for the fascinating look at the program. If the defense performs well over the next couple years, it sounds like English is going to be a serious candidate for head coaching jobs all over the place... including Michigan.

Let's Play Google Zeitgeist

The House Rock Built thinks Jeff Carroll's set a swell example with his rad use of Google searches as proof of anything an everything and I concur. Finally we have a tool with which we can settle age old debates. I say let's get to settlin' things.

Jimmy Clausen most strongly resembles what flightless animal?

(all searches are jimmy.clausen ANIMAL)

FLIGHTLESS ANIMAL	Hits
ostrich	2
richard.simmons	4
albert.einstein	5
billy.idol	8
emu	21

Charlie Weis most strongly resembles what flightless animal?

FLIGHTLESS ANIMAL	Hits
emperor.palpatine	1
jabba.the.hut	5
billy.idol	38
carnie.wilson	40
grimace	49
walrus	51
jesus.christ	998

What is the first name of Michigan's coach?

NAME	Hits
jesus.christ	1
Oyd	4
Loyd	283
Lloyd	0
Llloyd	39
Lllloyd	137
Llllloyd	35
Lllllloyd	5
Llllllloyd	24
Lllllllloyd	1

That's right, kids: Google predicts Michigan to go 12-1.

(If you input five Ls, Google helpfully asks if you might have made an error:

Also, the Google record for most Ls in "Lloyd" goes to an enterprising young fellow who didn't stop until #14 in a post on the recently canned pirate referee. Either he's from a dystopian future where LL Cool J forces colleges to play two more regular season games on motorcycles or he's projecting an NFL job for Carr in the near future. Yeah, "dystopian future" it is.)

Weis Consumes Jeff Carroll's Soul

...adds further to his mind-shattering girth.

I loathe to side with NDNation on any topic large or small, but when the opposition is provided by SportsJournalists.com -- the only board on the Internet that can give the Nationites a run for their money when it comes to ludicrous arrogance better placed in 1955 -- the pill goes down a little easier. The situation: Jeff Carroll of the South Bend Tribune writes a four-article series questioning the hoopla surrounding Jimmy Clausen. It largely exists to fill space in supposedly controversial fashion, tackling the proverbial tough questions facing the Irish program. Are they selling out for victories? Is Weis playing by the rules? How good can Jimmah be if he thinks that haircut is an intelligent decision? All you need to know about the articles is encapsulated in the following lines:

A Google search for the phrases "Notre Dame" and "Just like everyone else" finds 11,700 matches.

Another search, for "tarnished dome," returns 5,310 matches.

("Jeff Carroll" and "lazy" = 83 hits.) The same level of hard-hitting(!), solid evidence persists throughout. There are vague quotes linked by paragraphs that hint at potential troubles followed by more vague quotes. The only thing of interest in the entire series is a surprisingly liberated quote from incoming freshman Paddy Mullen (yes, his real name):

"He's cocky," Mullen said. "He's a typical quarterback. We'll see what happens when he's at Notre Dame and getting knocked around a little bit. We'll see when he has a defensive tackle tackling the crap out of him.

"I committed to Notre Dame. I told as many people as I could, people who called. But I don't have a PR firm putting my name out there. ... This guy better be unbelievable."

When the articles are published, NDNation and assorted party organs explode with hilarious outrage. Several posters urge the moderators to place the South Bend Tribune on their Nixonian enemies list and prohibit any and all outgoing links to those damn pinkos. Eventually the spittle ceases flecking Internets rubberneckers and the whole thing blows over... until yesterday, when Carroll is informed that he is on Weis's enemies list and can no longer be suffered to ask questions of the high holy one:

It didn't take Charlie long to flex some muscle. Former Times Sports Writer Jeff Carroll, now working for the Irish Sports Report, was informed by school officials that he could not ask questions of Weis, his staff or players during the three-hour session. It seems Weis and senior associate athletics director John Heisler weren't happy with some of Carroll's reporting endeavors.

Here's an idea: Have someone ask the questions for you.

Personally, I think the intention was to embarrass Carroll, publicly.

The Mullen quote -- obtained outside of approved channels -- is the pretext given. Cue second round of hilarious outrage from SportsJournalists.com. This has been great fun all around for yours truly, who loves seeing both Notre Dame fans and journalists tweaked.

To play Mills Lane for a moment: I side with Weis. The series by Carroll was indeed a hack job that attempted to spin Pulitzer gold out of not even hay but air. Clausen's a big recruit with a lot of pub. He committed to Notre Dame. End of story. There's no reason ND should be expected to put up with a reporter who has clearly attempted to damage the school for personal benefit. Jeff Carroll is not granted inalienable rights to ask questions of the high holy one and his actions -- no one else's -- got those privileges removed. There's a fine line here: a reporter with an actual story and actual, you know, evidence of malfeasance is duty-bound to report his findings. Giving such a reporter a similarly cold shoulder is poor form at best and more likely rampant megalomania. Carroll doesn't fall into that category. He wrote the stories because he wanted attention, silly things like evidence be damned. The articles had the air of careful phrasing to avoid libel suits and nothing approaching justification; the sympathy meter reads zero.

I've often wondered why Drew Sharp doesn't get the same treatment from the Michigan program. Even though he's a columnist and therefore not beholden to said facts, his relentless negativity is a drag on both Detroit-area fans and the teams they support. Lloyd Carr hates the guy -- and can you find someone who doesn't? Personally, if I was AD I would ban all Free Press reporters from press conferences and give the News unprecedented access until Sharp was sent packing. But I have been told I'm somewhat combative.

(HT: HP. Eek.)

Now Try It Without The Blindfold

This Youtube video would be quintessential Braylon with one small addition:



The addition would be a bonus twenty seconds wherein Braylon removes the blindfold, tells a six-year-old kid with lukemia to throw him a slant, and drops it.

I keeed, I keeed. We love you anyway, Moonbeam.



(Also: how is this the only result for "Braylon MSU" on Youtube? Hasn't someone stitched together the four catches from the end of the '04 MSU game and set it to the world's worst emo? Can we get on this? I would watch that in a loop if it was a TV show. Could I be more like Bill Simmons right now? Billy Zabka! Ian Ziering! Humiliating self at WSOP!)

Unverified Voracity: Media Day Edition

Media Day orgy-type substance: Stadium & Main has linked the torrent of News/Freep/MGoBlue articles from yesterday's Media Day in one convenient post. Larry Lage has an AP article that again brings up the skinny bit:

Kevin Grady ran on the Michigan golf course so often during the offseason that he lost 11 pounds.

"We went up and down about four holes, and that's not as easy as it sounds," the running back said Monday at media day. "I feel a lot different endurance-wise. I feel like I can do some things I wasn't able to do last year."

Jake Long dropped 20 pounds, pushing himself away from the dinner table and into more workouts. Long hopes it will help him stay healthy and aid his transition from right to left tackle on the offensive line.

&c &c &c. A ploy to confuse women into watching, thinking that football is the new season of Desperate Housewives? Perhaps. More likely: an indication that the running game is changing. MLive echoes the weight loss yodeling -- noted bikini candidates include Grady, Alex Mitchell, Dave Harris, and Alan Branch; The Blade has an article on Hart; the South Bend Tribune cites Chad Henne's "new beard and re-sculpted body" in the lead -- yow!; Bass "not concerned at all" about potential career-endingness of knee injury; The Flint Journal profiles Jake Long.

Most important quote ever. Debord:

"I think you have to be more aggressive today," said DeBord, who also was the Wolverines' offensive coordinator in 1997-99.

"In `97, our whole thing was we want to control the ball and really continue to get first downs, three yards here, four yards here, five yards here. We were really trying to control it. But now you have to score. You have to put the ball down the field a little bit more than what we did then."

Brandon Harrison is returning to corner. From that same article:

Yet when injuries hit Michigan's secondary during the season, he moved to safety and played well.

Now he's headed back to corner to compete for the starter's spot opposite Leon Hall .

"There's a lot of competition at the other corner spot," he said, referring to Charles Stewart , Johnny Sears and Morgan Trent . "Instead of covering tight ends, I'll be covering receivers. ... I didn't think I was going to get switched back, but I'm glad to help the team."

The move makes a lot of sense with four experienced safeties -- Engelmon, Mundy, Barringer, and Adams -- returning but only two cornerbacks doing likewise, one of whom is getting pushed down the depth chart. Harrison showed that he was fast as all git out last year but overran a couple plays that lead to big gains and opposition touchdowns. He's got the hips and speed for press man over a slot receiver; I would expect him to see a lot of time in third-and-medium nickel packages.

Oh, yes. Aaaaaand now: Media Day OMG pepper banana pickle carrot!

Etc.: Mark May Be Wrong exists; check horrifyingly in-depth AP poll analysis; Deadspin highlights another terrifying woman who is A) a family member of a recently "graduated" Buckeye who went in the first round and B) is not Laura Quinn; SI On Campus says we have the best fight song. Like OMG duh.

Media Day Audio

Courtesy of The Wolverine. Newsworthy bits summarized below:

• DE/TE recruit Quintin Woods hasn't shown up yet due to a clearinghouse issue. DT Marques Slocum is also not on campus, having failed to get a qualifying test score after a long struggle. Slocum is in the process of an appeal, but he is a longshot to enroll at this point. Woods will probably end up on campus sooner or later. (<-- speculation)
• The offensive line is almost set. From left to right: Jake Long, Adam Kraus, Mark Bihl, ?, ?. One "?" will be senior Rueben Riley. If Mike Kolodziej is the fifth-best lineman Riley will play RG and Kolodziej RT; if one of the guards (Cuilla or Mitchell) is the best option, Riley will play RT.
• First player out of Carr's mouth when asked about the WRs was "underrated" Carl Tabb. Also getting plugged as a player with potential was drop-prone Doug Dutch, twice mentioned as a player with a lot of ability who needs to "step up."
• Carr continues to scare the crap out of me by mentioning Leon Hall as the primary backup to Breaston in the return game. Carlos Brown was also mentioned.
• Zoltan The Inconceivable is pushing Ross Ryan for the punting job. This is one area where I think Carr's focus on safety is correct strategically and wouldn't mind seeing Ryan handle the punting for a second year, as his ugly, short punts were almost totally unreturnable. ZTI's Heisman will have to wait a year... probably.
• Shawn Crable's slow start last year was due to him being a "huge disappointment" in training camp. He expected the job, didn't put in the effort and was relegated to the bench.
• Kevin Grady is going to be "much improved," having lost a bit of weight. Carr expects him to "hit the hole quicker and be better in the secondary."
  
• The much-discussed offensive line slimming got some additional airtime. Nothing terribly important was said, but Internet rumblings indicate a major shift in Michigan's running philosophy is on the way. Think Fred Russel.
• Somewhat frighteningly, Ryan Mundy's name keeps popping up as a candidate for playing time. I suppose it's good if he can wade his way through the four guys who started games a year ago, but the dread spectre of Yards After Mundy lurks.
• "Tremendous" watch: we've got two! Terrance Taylor has made "tremendous strides" in strength and workout ability. He is going to start opposite Branch. Also, Steve Breaston is a "tremendously committed athlete."

Update: MGoBlue has a veritable bevy of player quotes.

Let's Pray Josh Turel Goes Elsewhere

Go Blue Wolverine, the Michigan Scout site, is the not-infrequent target of sarcasm and ridicule in this space for general unprofessionalism, but this takes the cake:

JoshTurel3 Hall of Fame Posts: 4076 (8/3/06 2:42:10 pm ) Reply

Re: Wahington...to Michigan?!?!?!?!? Let us pray Washington goes elsewhere. Will never start here... doesn't affect Allen. He isn't that good.

It was bad enough when GBW hired a punk kid with only a vague idea of a comma's purpose to inflict his mechanics upon Michigan fandom at large, but now he's trashing uncommitted recruits on a public message board. This is an employee of GBW with the temerity to call out not only his own guru service but the coaching staffs of Michigan and Ohio State all in order to rip a kid who may end up committing! On a site with scruples that's a firing offense; on GBW it's just more license to butcher the English language.

Something to consider if you want to dip your toe into the fetid pool of recruting subscription sites. Sure, it's all creepy, but there's guy-with-70s-mustache creepy and guy-with-70s-mustache -and-windowless-van creepy. GBW is the latter.

In other recruiting news: Bad news on the DT front from one of those Fox Sports roundup articles. First, Joseph Barksdale is still favoring Texas and OSU:

I go back and forth between Texas and Ohio State. It used to be just those two schools, but I talked to my parents about three and a half weeks ago, and we decided I should be serious about more schools.

Michigan and Notre Dame are "more schools," but things are grim. At the very least that rumor Michigan had gone insane and attempted to recruit Barksdale for the offensive line is dispelled:

"None of these schools want me for offensive line," said the 6-5, 315 pounder who claims 4.9 forty yard dash speed. "No schools have recruited me for offensive line, period."

Second, DT Josh Brent favors Illinois(!) and Ohio State over Michigan and Wisconsin:

"I'm glad I waited to narrow down schools until I'd seen all the campuses. At the moment, Illinois and Ohio State are my favorites with a slight to solid lead over the others," said the 6-3, 300 pounder. ...

"The edge for Illinois is my closeness with the coaching staff," he said. "I go down there and everybody knows who I am, even the players. The track and field coaches were recruiting me at first, but then they let the football coaches do their thing because football is going to be my focus in college. Still, I would definitely be able to do track and field alongside if I go to Illinois.

Josh, please keep in mind that you'll be on the receiving end of 800-point beatings for the next four years if you go to Illinois. You'll also have to wear those garish orange clown suits. (OMG negative recruiting!)

It's probably moot, anyway:

"I went to Michigan's camp in late June to work out for them. I do like defensive line coach, (Steve) Stripling, because of his intensity and passion for what he does. Also, the classes are all in walking proximity for such a big campus."

This may be reading too much into a random quote, but when you are quizzed about the things you like about Michigan and the second one is "I don't have to walk too far to go to class," you probably aren't in a rush to commit.

The only other item of note: Cal has offered OT Mitchell Schwartz.

State Of Recruiting: Offense

Quarterback

Needs Going In: With two unheralded quarterbacks over the past two years and Chad Henne set to graduate a year after the '07 class steps on campus, Michigan needed one blue chippah and how.

Commitments To Date: Ryan Mallett is a blue chippah and how: when not scaring the daylights out of wide receivers with passes approaching the speed of light, Mallett makes a little money on the side hurling communications satellites into orbit. His hype has waxed (Rivals had him one of the top ten prospects in the country at first), waned (they dropped him to around #25 and made him the last five-star) and grown gibbous once more after an impressive Elite 11 camp where various observers claimed him second-best behind Texas-bound John Brantley, neck-and-neck with Clemson-bound Willy Korn.

Potential Commitments: None. If Michigan was going to continue pursuing other quarterbacks they probably would have made a push for Adrian's Stephen Threet, who committed to Georgia Tech. They're done.

You Should Panic This Much: None. Michigan got its man.

Running Back

Needs Going In: A running back in this class would be a luxury. Michigan has four from the last two classes, three of whom come to Michigan with at least one service or guru declaring them to be OMG shirtless. If they find someone they like they'll take him, but they can go without this year and not worry a bit.

Commitments To Date: None. Michigan had offers out to both Brandon Saine and Danny "Boom" Herron, but both went to Ohio State. Must love the taste of crayons.

Potential Commitments: Most of the talk has centered around Illinois' Robert Hughes, who was rumored to be favoring Michigan a month or so ago but is now rumored to be favoring Notre Dame. Ah, rumors. Hughes is a big-time recruit who Michigan has been after heavily since the start of the year; he'll stay in the Midwest. Most of the other backs on Michigan's board have gone elsewhere or just plain dropped Michigan. Two names who still list Michigan: Curtis Shaw and Gerald Jones, though Jones is supposed to be completely tiny -- like 5'6" tiny.

You Should Panic This Much: None. Other than kicker, this is the position least likely to be filled when the class is finished. Michigan would very much like to land Hughes but won't fret if they don't.

Fullback

Needs Going In: As severe as you could get for a relatively unimportant position. Sleeper Andre Criswell, a defensive end/linebacker prospect to various MAC teams, was a last-second addition at the position in '06. He's the only underclassman fullback on the roster.

Commitments To Date: Vince Helmuth -- not to be confused with Phil -- was Michigan's first commit in the class to the mild consternation of Internet grumblers set on a sexy position like cornerback or quarterback. Grumbles should be silenced, though, as Michigan filled their hole at FB with a plowing blocker in the Dudley mold. ESPN ranks him the top fullback prospect in the country.

Potential Commitments: One fullback is enough, thanks.

You Should Panic This Much: None. This hole is filled about as well as the one at quarterback.

Wide Receiver

Needs Going In: Michigan's one recruit from a year ago, Greg Mathews, is probably going to play in preparation for '07, so Michigan will need receivers in quantity to prevent a nasty gap. Expect three players by Feburary 2nd.

Commitments To Date: Michigan sleeper James Rogers came to Michigan camp, caught everything in sight, and won the "smokehouse" award for fastest player at his position. He was offered and committed soon after. A running back in high school, Rogers is a project but draws comparisons to a certain other instate sleeper at WR who was kind of good.

Potential Commitments: Recruitniks are keeping their eyes on OLSM's Taurian Washington, South Carolina's Junior Hemingway, and Pennsylvania's Toney Clemons. Hemingway is the most touted of the three -- ESPN ranks him #17 in the country -- but all three are solid four-stars to everyone. All three are also supposed to be favoring Michigan, Washington's reported OSU commitment nonwithstanding. With Rogers already in the fold Michigan probably only has room for two of the three. If two of the above three fall through, Michigan will pursue Californians Zion Babb and Marques Simas.

You Should Panic This Much: Not much. Current scuttlebutt claims that Washington and Hemingway are very likely to end up in winged helmets, likely leaving Clemons to Pitt.

Tight End

Needs Going In: Major. Instate sleeper Quintin Woods is the only tight end in last year's class and he hardly played varsity football until his senior year, when he starred... at defensive end. He's a project and with only Carson Butler in the year ahead of him Michigan needs a couple tight ends to make up the numbers.

Commitments To Date: Michigan jumped on sleeper Martell Webb before anyone got wind of his freakish 6'5" self, then picked up a second commitment from Denver's Steve Watson, son of current Broncos receivers coach and former Broncos reciever Steve Watson. Webb is the huge HS wide receiver with serious mismatch potential; Watson is the heady coach's son who might be a bit plodding.

Potential Commitments: Two tight ends should do it.

You Should Panic This Much: A little. Three straight years Michigan has swung for the fences with utterly raw, outrageously athletic basketball players and has only Watson in the "safe bet" category. With three cracks at a breakout player Michigan has a good chance of getting one, but it's still something of a risk. And it doesn't seem likely that Butler, Woods, and Webb are going to be crushing, Spaethian blockers.

Interior Line

Needs Going In: Michigan looks for two or three G/C types in every class.

Commitments To Date: Illinois center David Molk, a high three star to Rivals but a member of the Scout 100 with ESPN splitting the difference of opinion. Currently undersized but tenacious and "nasty," Molk is an ideal, mobile center candidate.

Potential Commitments: I dunno. Pennsylvania's Steve Wisniewski is earmarked for Penn State. None of the in-state kids have offers. No one on the board has been heard from in a month or two. I dunno.

You Should Panic This Much: A little. Having Molk on board is nice but the total dearth of names aside from him is somewhat unsettling. But... it's guard. Last year nonwithstanding, they generally grow on trees and their recruiting rankings are almost irrelevant.

Tackles

Needs Going In: Like guard, Michigan would like to get two in every class, occasionally three if things are looking thin. A year ago they picked up three-star Perry Dorrestein and five-star Steve Schilling.

Commitments To Date: None.

Potential Commitments: Californian Mitchell Schwartz, a three star on the upswing, is the surest bet at the moment -- great news for Spaceballs fans. Arkansas' Lee Ziemba, a top 100 player to everyone, is reputed to like Michigan quite a bit as well but it could be hard to get him that far away from home. New York's John "No Relation" Elliot, also a top 100 player, has Michigan on a list of nine schools heavy on the academics but light on the football accomplishments and is a definite possibility.

You Should Panic This Much: A moderate amount. As it stands right now, Ziemba will probably stay closer to home and Elliot has a lot of schools to sift through. Even if Schwartz does commit that still leaves Michigan one tackle short without a great chance of pulling a high-profile recruit. Again, though: offensive line is the place where recruiting rankings are least useful. All the practice buzz at tackle focuses on relatively unknown Mark Ortmann, not VHT Corey Zirbel.

Overall

Ryan Mallett currently fills Michigan's most pressing need, er, impressively and the numbers at wide receiver and tight end appear to be coming. Missing out on Saine and Herron is disappointing and the offensive line situation is looking kind of tenuous, but the big issue on this side of the ball is locked down with the perfect recruit for Michigan's offense. Pick up Hemingway and Washington plus a couple tackles and the rest is gravy.

Right-now grade: A-.

If You're A BlogPoll Member

...and you didn't get a big long email from me, please drop me a line (mgoblog@gmail.com) and/or check your old email address. If you moved addresses and told me I may have updated it in the database but I definitely did not do so on the email list.

Unverified Voracity: Catch Up Edition

Okay. Things happened when I was gone. This is not a major surprise. Vijay and MNB Dave have filled the void for you.

'07 hockey recruit Ben Winnett committed. At 16, Winnett scored 49 points in 60 games in the BCHL playing kids three and four years his senior. Less than a PPG in the run-and-gun BCHL is not generally indicative of future college stardom -- Milan Gajic more than doubled that -- but it is impressive for a player Winnett's age -- Gajic was 19. He and Wisconsin-bound Kyle Turris are considered the top two up-and-comers in the league.

The Wolverine's Bob Miller was given permission to post an article from Paul Shaheen's Research On Ice column:

"So many people around me said I was a Michigan type player," says Winnett, a high school senior and one of the most well-spoken young men his age. "With my skating, offense and awareness, many guys branded me a Wolverine. I was flattered by that."

Even someone who'd never seen Winnett play before said exactly the same thing.

"Last year, " explains Winnett, "we were having a practice skate, and (former Maine Black Bear assistant captain) Jeff Mushaluk came out to skate with us. (An Armstrong, BC native, Mushaluk played two seasons at Maine after transferring from Lake Superior State). Jeff came up to one of our coaches and said, 'heah who's that number 16? He looks like a Wolverine.' That was a huge compliment."

(HT: WCH)

Michigan kicked some ass at bridge. Eat our national championship, Princeton!

SMQB got all up in my grill. No he di'in't(!). This here website was cited for aiding and abetting severe recruitnikdom by reporting on Mallet's thrilling victory in the NCAA '07 competition at the Elite 11 camp:

And then we are treated to a link to a lengthy review of another person we do not know, who is not yet a high school senior, playing a video game? And how its results might possibly suit this young man for a certain school's conservative offensive philosophy?

For the record, the sarcasm hat was firmly in place for the entirety of that post, from exclamatory headline to dubious recommendation to examine the "teary acceptance speech."

EDSBS held a pledge drive. Which is over, though you can still donate.

And now three dog-bites-man stories:

The NCAA did something dumb. The game clock will start to tick down when the play clock starts after a change of possession this year in order to shorten games by five or ten minutes. The outrage generated by 3-2-5-e is widespread. Stadium & Main has some in a rundown of all the new rule changes ("NCAA, you are dumb" is the succinct conclusion); SMQB accuses hungry wives of getting their way, &c. I'm ambivalent. Games have lengthened terms of both time and playcount in recent years because of spread mania and something should be done to reduce the massive time savings yielded by the passing game -- perhaps starting the clock when the ball is set for play after an incompletion -- but this is a totally arbitrary rule change that will do more harm than good.

The NCAA did something dumb. Something else.

What now are I-A programs — the Texases, Notre Dames and others vying for bowls — will play in the Football Bowl Subdivision. The Georgia Southerns, Montanas and others now known as I-AA will play in the NCAA Football Championship Subdivision, alluding to the 16-team playoff that settles its national title.

Our long national nightmare is over.

Gene Wojciechowski gave oral typewritten pleasure to a collegiate coach. This time it's our own Lloyd Carr instead of Charlie Tuna but the overall effect is the same: breathless praise for 1,200 words. The script is somewhat different since Lloyd is generally regarded as "embattled" instead of an up-and-coming sooper genius, forcing Wojciechowski to make snide comments about crazy Internets types and their loony blogs instead of leaping right into the pleasure bits:

Carr is now 1-4 against Tressel, which explains why some of these U-of-M bloggers need distemper shots. ...

Wait. There is one writer Carr does read on a regular basis: Rudyard Kipling. As he gets hammered in chat room after chat room, in the Letters to the Editor, in blogs, in his own Big House, Carr leans on those opening lines of Kipling's poem, "If."

Yes, this is a standard "can you believe all these crazy people on the Internets who don't like Coach X after sucky season Y" article, but this one is personally irritating. As the unofficial dean of the Michigan blogosphere I strenously object to the sloppy characterization of not only we admittedly-loony Internets masses but the Michigan fanbase in general in the service of another generic fluff piece from Wojciechowski. Did Carr get booed once during this trying season? No. Did this blog or any of the ones on the sidebar call for Carr's head after it? Except for Joey, who probably could use said distemper shot, no. Are Michigan fans responsible for the incoherent blatherings of Detroit newspaper columnists? No. Aside from always-retarded, always-angry talk radio and a few websites no one visits, Wojciechowski has invented a world in which Carr is public enemy number one* simply because he needs such a thing to exist so he can write his crappy, generic, useless article.

There's a difference between reasonable criticism and the raving lunacy that is the antipode of Wojciechowski's constant sunniness. Much like facism and communism, at their extremes the two opposites become alike in unreason. Wojciechowski and FireLloydCarr.com deserve each other.

*(Public enemy number one was and always will be Jim Herrmann, who this article could have been written about with no, count 'em, no amounts of intellectual dishonesty. Too bad for Gene that he's a Jet.)

Etc.: SMQB previews ND; The Colts' official site previews Marlin Jackson.

Commitment #10: C David Molk

Michigan has its tenth commitment for 2007 and first on the offensive line in the personage of Illinois center David Molk, who you may remember from such quotes as "Notre Dame is a smelly"...

“We had a lunch after the camp but the (Notre Dame) coaches all sat in one corner and didn’t talk to anyone and I didn’t get that. When we left, Coach Ianello told me that he’d be in touch.”

... and, well, that should be enough for anyone. Molk has several other positive attributes aside from tremendous taste in schools: he is a member of the Scout 100 and a four-star on that site, though this nugget from his profile on that site may be concerning:

Molk is car like quick off the ball.

Hopefully a typo, not a legitimate comparison to a 1978 Gremlin. Rivals is less enthused, offering three stars (possibly because he gave them the most unflattering picture in the history of the universe), but ESPN rates him a 78 -- the same rating given Ryan Van Bergen and Vince Helmuth, just outside their top 150 -- and commands you to enjoy him($):

You like Molk because he's a high-motor guy who plays physical. There is more to playing offensive line than just hitting people, but it is nice when you have a prospect with ability who shows a nasty side.

"Nasty" veers dangerously close to verboten sports cliche, but you will let it stand because ESPN tells you to.

Not blessed with the natural ginormity that most offensive linemen have, Molk worked his way up from pipsqueak:

As a freshman, Lemont's David Molk was a 5-6, 175-pounder who bench-pressed only 110 pounds and squatted 250.

As he prepares for his senior season, Molk is a 6-2, 270-pounder who bench-presses 370, squats 550 and power-cleans 320.

Now he lives in the weight room:

I'm addicted to lifting," he said. "That's my hobby. When I'm bored or mad, I lift. I started out to try to be the strongest guy in the weight room. Now that I have passed everyone in school history, I'm trying to be the strongest kid I ever heard of. I heard of someone who benched 400 pounds at a combine. Now that's my goal.

"My friends think I'm crazy. The weight room closes at 5 o'clock, so I go to a gym in town for another hour of lifting. Notre Dame, Oklahoma and Ohio State are concerned if I can handle people at my size. I feel I can. I hope to prove it this fall. I found out that centers can be as short as 6 feet tall and still compete in the NFL."

Molk sounds as driven as any kid can be and gets a talent thumbs up from two of three sites. Might have some trouble against potential Gabe Watson types but should be a hell of a pull-blocker a la Greg Eslinger. Thumbs up.

MacArthur, But Defeated

Hokay. I'm back and ready to start cracking the metaphorical pads again. One last poker dalliance before we return to your regularly scheduled programming:

• Technically neither hand was a bad beat since when the money when in I was the one drawing to two outs. Had I won either hand I would have been the deliverer of said bad beat. The technical term for what happened to me was getting "cold decked" -- I was given hands that given the run of play to that point thus far (and the sad size of my twinkly little stack on the last hand) were nigh-impossible to get away from. Any (good) player in my situation would have gone home the instant that K77 flop came.
• Overall I was happy with my play. The two mistakes on day one were harmful, but neither was deadly and on day two I was very sharp. It takes a lot of luck to get to where I did but there's skill, too. I didn't win any massive pots but moved my stack from 15k to 60k by methodically chopping out blinds, re-raising preflop with marginal hands, and feigning weakness to my advantage. I got some sense for how someone like Ivey or Ferguson can negotiate those minefields as proficiently as they do.
• To those wondering whether Annie Duke is hittable: er... maybe. I'm sure she cleans up real nice, but at the table she had her game face on. She's very much the table cop and kept talking about her kid, her boyfriend, and her kid's dead snake, so hittability-ponderings were kept to a minimum.
• The WSOP is probably the only event on the planet where there are massive lines outside the men's bathroom but not the women's.
• You're damn right I'm going to try to qualify again next year.

Now: football football football.

Photographic Evidence Of People In My Vicinity

Annie Duke is arguing with the floor guys about the possibility of playing six levels -- a bad idea (they played only four and a half). I am seated two to the right of the elderly man with the kickass beard. I pissed the guy in the Poker Stars jersey off by steal-raising with 4-2, checking my flopped four to the river when I caught a deuce, and calling a river bet from the guy.

(Via Wicked Chops Poker... WCP also has evidence of the scantily-cladness if you're interested. And you are, you immoral persons. There is a separate post for the Bodog stuff, because if placed in close proximity to the other girls they might communicate something.)

Busto

Things were going swimmingly until a one-two gut punch that left me dazed and chipless. I had run up the 15k from the start of the day to a very healthy 60k stack that was about average. The first major pot I won was from Annie Duke, actually -- A10 suited caught an ace on the flop; I bet she calls; I move in on the blank turn and she goes away. Acting passively when I caught major pieces of the flop was working out great. I let others do my betting for me and took down major hunks of stack.

Then perhaps an hour after the dinner break the player directly to my right put in a raise. I find two black kings in the hole and reraise. The table folds around to him and he moves in after some deliberation. Clearly you know what happens next: I call and am shown aces. The board is no help and I'm down to 20k. About an orbit later I find what seems like redemption in a pair of my own aces and raise. Only the big blind calls. The flop is K77: bingo. He checks, I bet a quarter of my stack and he moves in. Unable to give him credit for a seven and beating everything else except an insanely played kings full I call and am shown 10-7 offsuit. Goodbye, tournament.

Final tally: nine and a half levels covering almost 20 hours, one trip to a shockingly expensive buffet that I resolve to get my money's worth at by eating my weight in crab legs, and a finish around 1400th of almost 9000. I don't know if the kings hand was a mistake... that player had been very aggressive preflop and I had already chopped him off twice. There's no way I can get away from the aces on my final hand, but I keep wondering about the kings. It's not a clear error like my two screwups on day 1, but I wonder if Annie Duke makes that call. Eh.

As I exited the Rio, still stunned, I hear not one but two "pssts" from what turns out to be an attractive-in-a-way woman who asks me to come over to her. Despite being the picture of midwest innocence, hooker alarms go off in my head and I mumble something along the lines of "um, er, no... I have to go... over here. Over here." I get in a cab and ask to go back to the MGM. The cabbie asks about my exit and I describe it. He's an inordinately friendly man but would never make it at the World Series, as in the course of a ten minute ride he picks up over four hours in hypothetical f-bomb penalites. He expertly routes around construction, taking me through the unfrequented back alleys between the casinos. From this perspective, Las Vegas almost seems like a real place.

In my room I sleep fitfully, haunted equally by two black kings and two red aces, traitors all.

Update: Annie apparently would not have dropped the kings. Wish my appearance on Pokernews.com was as something other than a bad-beat story, but that's life.